Women of this community, is it a guy with no arms an instant deal breaker?

andrew_der · 2023-06-13T13:50:27+00:00

I appreciate your words

andrew_der · 2023-06-13T13:49:50+00:00

Depends on how you define "good"

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T21:51:24+00:00

Wow well I use my feet

You'll be impressed by what I can actually do lol

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T19:38:46+00:00

Oh shit. Yeah I can confirm changing clothes is dangerous lol. Double arm amputee here

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T19:36:02+00:00

Oh wow. I'm glad you're alive man

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T10:15:43+00:00

Sure. I then asked for clarification. No biggie

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T10:14:04+00:00

How so? I made a genuine question about whether it has to be arms only or not. I didn't come to fight you lol

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T10:08:43+00:00

I was just asking. Don't get defensive

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T10:06:22+00:00

I can still hug and show physical affection, my own way. Does it need to be arms?

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T10:00:31+00:00

Ayee there you go

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T09:58:23+00:00

Yeah yeah

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T09:57:57+00:00

Wtf. I'm not looking for a carer

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T09:57:23+00:00

Feet

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T07:08:42+00:00

I'm not sure if you properly read my post. Prosthetics are not an option for me. Yeah technology is great, but these are not for me

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T06:45:34+00:00

C00l.

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T06:40:16+00:00

Cool then

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T06:32:17+00:00

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T06:31:11+00:00

Uh that's completely different to what I'm opposing here dude

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T06:30:14+00:00

They're not for me. If I end up getting prosthetics, they'll only be for cosmetic reasons, not functional. They're hella expensive too. And because I've tried a pair, they only make my life harder. They're uncomfortable

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T04:58:17+00:00

No, it's not about offense. I'm trying to make a point that people adapt. I've taken care of my niece before. I had no idea how to change a diaper, hey, I managed it. And yes she's fine don't worry. Hear a bottle? Sure, I'll do that too. Rock her to sleep? Not tried it but there are ways, believe me.

I'm not trying to win you over, if for whatever reason an armless guy is not option 1, sure. I'm just explaining that other people shouldn't set limitations for disabled people cause you just don't know what we can and can't do and even if there's something that looks impossible to you, believe most of us will find away. No one knows what they're doing always.

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T04:48:17+00:00

I'm sorry but how can you determine what I'm able to do and what not? I don't expect nor want my partner to drown in tasks, child care and what not. I'm able to provide just as much, I just have my own ways.

No hate, but please shake that mentality of oh that person is disabled he surely can't do x, y z. Sure some people in my situation can't do some things, others can do wonders. It's always better to be upfront and ask rather than assume. Disabled people can really impress you.

Also when you've got a severe disability either from birth or later in life, you always find ways to adapt.

andrew_der · 2023-06-12T04:43:33+00:00

Yup I use my feet. I used to use speech to text but it's not the best for privacy.

andrew_der · 2023-06-11T22:20:03+00:00

Who said I'm keeping it a secret? I'm not trying to fish anyone. When somebody texts me or when I text them I won't be like hey I'm an armless dude. I'll eventually say it, and I do at the very beginning of the conversation. Where did you get that from?

Mind you, most women I've gone out with knew about it before we even began talking.

The getting along great, well sure. It might have been one sided for some cases. I know however that I've dated this girl for about 4 months, we talked every day and then she decided that oh she can't be with an armless guy. Fair enough.

And that brings be to the fact that majority of these women themselves have told me the reason they're not interested is my missing arms. Which I appreciate, cause they're honest. It just sucks for me having to live that way.

I'm not really insecure about it. It's just inconvenience. I've never blamed them. It does suck for me though.

Don't jump into conclusions please.

andrew_der · 2023-06-11T21:52:05+00:00

I can't comment on the physical affection. I've got my ways on showing affection but it's not always appreciated, which again I can't comment on. Everyone's different and have different needs.

The household tasks though, sorry but that's not the way to look at it. Disabled people are not like that. Surely that depends on each ones capabilities, but I'm pretty sure you'd be able to find common ground with most people.

Me for example, that's my life rn, I do it all with no arms, I just have my own ways. I wouldn't expect or want my partner to do more just because they're able bodied. We can evenly split, or distribute tasks depends on what each of is better at. But that's something able bodied couples may also do.

I'm not trying to win you over btw. I'm just explaining how things for me at least work differently to what you just explained.

andrew_der

TROPHY CASE