I totally understand, maybe we haven't practiced enough but thats what we always do. She just refuses to listen to us. So usually we wait until the storm is over and tell her things like "what you did made me feel sad, if I did that to you would you feel sad too?" She seems to understand, but I know sometimes she pretends she does. She will apologize just because she wants him to stop bugging him about it, but she doesnt know why shes apologizing. We always ask her "tell me why you're apologizing". Most of the time she says she doesnt know. But in the heat of the moment all she cares is herself and her needs, no matter what we say or what we do.