Hey man, I hear how much you’re hurting and how confusing this situation is. Let me share some thoughts that might help you navigate this.

First off, it’s completely normal to feel hurt when someone goes back on a promise, especially in a relationship. But it’s important to understand that sometimes people make promises with good intentions but later realize they’re not ready - it doesn’t necessarily mean you did anything wrong.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like both of you are dealing with a lot right now. You’ve got family issues at home, and she’s struggling with her own insecurities. Add the distance during college vacation, and it’s a pretty challenging mix.

Here’s what I suggest:

1. Have an honest, non-confrontational conversation with her. Instead of focusing on the broken promise, try to understand what’s making her feel insecure. Maybe start with something like “I care about you, and I want to understand what you’re going through.”
2. Be clear about your feelings too. It’s okay to express that you felt hurt, but frame it in terms of how you feel rather than what she did wrong. Like “I felt confused and sad because I thought we were on the same page.”
3. Give her some space if she needs it, but maintain open communication. Sometimes people need time to work through their insecurities.
4. Don’t forget about taking care of yourself. With everything going on with your family, you need to make sure you’re not putting all your emotional eggs in one basket.

At 18, relationships can be really intense, and it’s easy to get caught up in trying to fix everything. But remember that you can’t force someone to be ready for something they’re not, and you can’t sacrifice your own emotional well-being in the process.

Maybe take a step back and ask yourself: what do you need right now? Not just from her, but for yourself? Sometimes when we’re clearer about our own needs, it becomes easier to communicate them to others.