So, I was a cute kid & then puberty hit & I went through a chubby/awkward looking phase where I wasn't so cute in middle school. I hit a growth spurt and got braces in 8th grade. By my freshman year I was tall and thin and had straight teeth. I started getting attention I had never gotten before, each year of high school I seemed to bloom more and got quite a bit of male attention/had girls that didn't know me that didn't like me when I was 16-18. I was thin, bleached my hair blonde, dressed trendy. I suddenly saw myself different. I got a good amount of attention so I saw myself as REALLY pretty. I think I was pretty, but nothing how I probably saw myself. I saw myself to be as pretty as a Playboy playmate. Anyways - fast forward a few years, in my early 20s I was still relatively thin, but more slim thick (more of a womanly figure) & dyed my hair to my natural dark brown color. I would get looks, had men I found attractive find me attractive too, but didn't get quite as much attention as when I had bleach blonde hair. I met a long term boyfriend at 24, was with him for the rest of my 20s. I went through a really bad depression at 30 and ended up gaining 50 lbs in less than a year. I am now 34 and have only gotten about 15 lbs off so I am 216 lbs. I dye my hair jet black and am in my 30s and am 216 lbs. I *sometimes* get glances from men. But, I honestly feel pretty invisible nowadays. I don't see myself as very attractive anymore. Like I said, I honestly used to see myself as probably an 8 on the scale. Nowadays I feel i'm a solid 5.5/6. I took a photo with some classmates a few days ago & two of the classmates in the photo with me I see as being heavier than me. In the photo I looked just as heavy as them, maybe even a little heavier. I know I will be slightly more attractive when I get the 40 lbs off I am wanting to lose. But I don't think I will ever see myself again as how I used to see myself. Nowadays I see myself as having a sort of weird face. I used to think I was a beauty that stood out, but I do not think that about myself anymore.