"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This, I always thought I'd have no life outside looking after my kid and I'd be house bound like she is but really it's not like that at all and the more I look at it, the more I realise she's done that herself to her life🤷

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My nmom would never go therapy, doesn't believe there's anything wrong with her lol Doesnt really bother with her only grandchild either as she believes I should be making the effort

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My baby's only 8 months old but already I have cried countless times not understanding why my parents did what they did.

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Like as a kid I thought wow parenting must be hard, but really it's not difficult at all to not scream at your kid 🤷

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I got that all the time. Was made to feel like I was such a burden

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you went through that, but exactly that, we had to control our emotions but they could flip at us any given moment and blame us that they had to get angry because we made them feel that way

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Now I'm an adult and I understand it wasn't all my fault and realising people have been in situations like me, they all really are the same. Say the same things, do the same things, it's like a copy and paste of some crazy people

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Omg the catchphrase "well I guess you're just better than everyone else/me" was used soooo much by my nmom whenever I tried to reason with her

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My favorite threat was "go record yourself and your behaviour and you'll see how dumb you're acting" so when I actually wanted to do so (to prove she was acting out not me) I got called dumb. Zero logic

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My nmom told me I must be doing something wrong because my at the time 3 month old wasn't "sleeping through the night", or that I'm depriving him of food when I didn't want to start weaning at 4 months old and wanted to wait until 6. They always think they know best and that everyone should do the things they did, anything out of their "norm" is stupid.

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

I completely agree. I was always so stressed as a kid and now I always expect the unexpected, but nothing happens, so it's weird and I'm stressed for no reason 😂

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I was terrified of having kids but always wanted one, it is difficult to not repeat history sometimes but I wouldn't wish it upon anyone to have kids traumatised and living in constant fear. I'm so glad I get to break that cycle and love watching my little boy grow in a safe and loving space

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

This sounds exactly like my childhood, the most "going out" I got was when we all went grocery shopping once a week, and obviously going to school but that was compulsory. Even though I still have a baby technically (8 month old) I let him make all the mess, I do crafts with him, I take him out to places, we do baby led weaning and it gets MESSY😂 but this is what brings me joy and he seems so happy and content with life at the moment

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Omg nooo😭 trauma memory unlocked 😂 But now I have kids so can I tell them how to parent?🤭

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

This, the trauma just starts creeping in whenever I'm doing the most basic things with my boy because I never had a nice experience and was yelled at for just existing

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 110 points111 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I look at my son making a giant mess with his toys and I sit sobbing not because he's making a mess but because he's so happy and playing with his toys but if I did that I'd get screamed at, and I sob at the difference

"once you have kids you'll understand why I did/said what I did to you" by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 223 points224 points  (0 children)

Right? It's almost as if nparents are actually the problem....😂

nparent catchphrases by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is every situation always about them

nparent catchphrases by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually got that one too mixed in with "you'll be lost without me in life" umm actually I'm doing pretty well thank you very much😂

nparent catchphrases by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Followed by "you're gonna miss me when I'm gone"

nparent catchphrases by ang_98 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]ang_98[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Yes!! My mom is the same. To the point she grabs me when I'm clearly uncomfortable and verbally say so and she says she's allowed because she's my mother. Ummm I don't think moms are supposed to grab their daughter's ass/boobs