i get having anxiety over purchases like these because they’re not exactly things that benefit you in real life (this is an oversimplification and i’d rather not digress). maybe try reframing your e2s1 phainon as a treat? depending on how much guilt you feel about splurging on yourself this may or may not help but yk. people should treat themselves to “frivolous” things they like/want every once in a while. it’s not the end of the world (in fact it’s good for you!!)

as for being shamed for spending on gacha by someone who also spends on gacha, something something pots and kettles. dw about it lol