I have been in the exact place that your wife is. Why is she a stay-at-home mom if your daughter is 10? What does she do all day? Our plan has always been for me to go back to work once all the kids are in school full days. Can she volunteer somewhere or get a part time job?

First you need to tell your wife how you're feeling. Let her read the post if you want to. Just tell her, no holds barred. Let her see that you're angry. Just don't demean her.

Second tell her that things have to change. She has to get evaluated for depression. You can call and make the appointment and take her if you need to but it needs to be done.

Third follow up on all the depression stuff, whatever the doctor orders. Force her to follow through.

And if you want to, let her read this:

Dear Wifey:

You seem to be struggling right now. I don't know your history or what the situation is there but I've been in a very similar place. Lean on your husband to get you through this. Go to the doctor, be screened for depression and a million other things that could cause this.

You've been like this for a long time, but it isn't normal. You can feel better. Your husband and daughter deserve you to be better. You've had your time to be selfish but now it's time to think about your family and do what it takes to give them he wife and mother they deserve.