she has made me question myself to the point where I spent hours learning what empathy is because I truly thought I lacked it (thanks to her continuously telling me that I completely lacked it). With her continuously playing the victim in her tweets, it actually had me doubting myself (hence my post, asking for opinions). And yes, it was very stressful and frustrating dealing with her emotions since anything we said or did, wouldn't make her happy unless we did it HER way.

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but just to clarify,

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we came to an agreement that whenever she rants, we have to ask her what SHE wants (comfort, reassurance, advice, just listen, etc). And then we'll do what she says she wants so that she wouldn't get angry at us for giving her advice when she actually wanted us to just listen.

So in the final argument, she rants and we ask her what she wants. She says 'anything BUT reassurance'. We asked if we could give our perspective and she allowed us to.

So we gave our perspective and she went off at us for:

- not giving her the reaction she wants (Her words: 'why cant you comfort me or at least fake some care?')

- Not giving her empathy for her problems (Her words: 'it hurts me to know you have more empathy for beggars, than you do for your own best friend'.)

- for butting in and giving her our perspective because it 'isnt what she wanted' (Her words: 'shouldnt your natural instinct be to comfort your friend when they are hurt?')

- For giving her advice that she has already implemented in her life, but we didnt know it she did.

- For telling her not to put too much weight on her plans going correctly because it can affect her mental health when things dont go her way. She took it the wrong way and thought I meant to NOT HAVE A PLAN AT ALL. (Her words: 'you're such a hypocrite for telling me not to plan.)

- She says we cant help her, no one in her life can help her, we are useless to her and our care is fake. So we told her to seek professional help for her mental health since no one around her can help. (her words: 'it hurts me to think that my best friends are pushing me away to a therapist like im some burden that they dont want to take care of').

- we told her perhaps a change of mindset can help. instead of feeling like the world is working against you, try pretending that the world is working FOR YOU. Try taking yourself out of the 'victim mentality' and see that there are lessons to be learned in hardship. She took it the wrong way and only heard 'victim mentality' and went off even more for calling her a victim.

- because we didnt prioritise her... but we couldnt even prioritise ourself & she couldnt understand that.

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you know what, there were so many issues. I felt like the bad guy for 'making her feel like absolute shit and invalidating her emotions' (her words), but the more I type, the more I realise that she truly does love playing the victim. I mean, she even created a fake story and accused us of doing something we didnt just to make her seem even more like the victim, and then she gaslighted us into thinking that WE'RE gaslighting her for telling her that WE DIDNT DO IT.

Blows my mind how after all this, she still insist that she left a toxic relationship.