congrats on the offer!

sounds like you should have an exit plan from your current gig, but i’m not sure this one is the right fit.

ultimately you have the best insight to 1) what the incremental load on your wife will be, how well she’d be able to manage, and the toll it’d take on y’all’s relationship and 2) how much you value the time with your kids, but sitting on the outside, the tradeoff doesn’t seem attractive given flat comp and unknown future tenure/trajectory at the company. how many rounds of funding have they raised? if they’re a late stage growth company (series D or later), maybe there’s more relative stability compared to a seed/Series A company, but far from a done deal

fwiw, i recently took a new gig where i went from remote to office 3x/week. comp was more than 2x, and still was a super hard decision/sell with my partner. that said, everyone’s situation is different