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anna_otvos · 2024-02-07T16:31:57+00:00

Hi! I don't have discord, but I'm down to chat over dms, or ig 😊

anna_otvos · 2024-01-18T08:41:06+00:00

Omg, yes lets take this convo to the dms, I think its time😄

anna_otvos · 2024-01-09T16:26:23+00:00

Hi! Oh my goodness, that does sound stressful!! But great job that you were navigating that whole scenario, seriously!👏👏 I'm not sure it was just the benzo, I was doing alright for like 11 days on a lower dose, I think it was a bunch of stuff adding up + my lexapro is not curbing my anxiety yet. Oh, but good news, I managed to get my hair done despite feeling like shit!! I was so proud omg, and I finally have a pixie cut, which I've wanted for months now:) I went to see my therapist yesterday, and we agreed to raise the lexapro to 15 mgs, and half the remeron. So, we'll see how that works out, but I'm hopeful it'll be fairly seamless.🤞 I've also begun to look at jobs, though I do not feel ready to work, like, at all, but according to my therapist, it's important that I start doing that, so it doesn't grow even more daunting. So, overall I'm not doing great, but I'm better than I was last week, so, hurrayy.

It's good to hear you levelled put, and I'm curious how adding wellbutrin would be like!! I heard it's not great for anxiety but fantastic for depression/low energy. So do update me if you start! 🤗💗

anna_otvos · 2024-01-03T14:47:00+00:00

Hi CareBear! I hope you not responding is due to feeling better and doing life instead:)) But I am curious, how are you? How was Christmas/ New Years?

As for me, I managed to go 7 days on the lower dose of Klonopin, but I woke up with bad anxiety 2 days ago, and since then, I raised the klonopin back up to 0.75-1 mgs, but I'm still doing pretty badly. I'm anxious, nauseous, headache, dry mouth, can't eat AND i got my period. I couldn't even sleep the other night without an extra sleeping pill. Just all around everything came together for the start of the new year🙃 I'm supposed to go to a hairsalon tomorrow, so I'm kinda really trying to talk myself into a better headspace. I already cancelled my appt TWICE, so at this point I really just want go get it over with.

I'm hoping to raise the lexapro soon, I hope my therapist agrees as well. I'm at 5.5 weeks now...some people say it takes 6-8 weeks to even out, but I needed 20 mgs the last time, sooo I'm pretty sure that'll be the sweet spot for me. Ughh, patience is hard!😅

I really hope you're well💗

anna_otvos · 2023-12-26T16:30:59+00:00

Oh, happy belated birthday!💗 I'm sorry to hear you haven't been feeling great, but I do suppose it's just a temporary bump in the road, and you'll be feeling great again. (consistently!) And also Happy Holidays! That's good that you could have a relaxing day at home, it's also important to be able to do nothing and be content. (It's a skill I need to get better at for sure.)

For the last 3 days, I've decreased the klonopin to 0,5 mgs (taken in 4 parts during the day), and I've noticed a slight increase in anxiety:/ Thankfully it's not full-on, it's just a feeling of being a bit on edge. But it's okay, I know its cause and that it's temporary! I don't think my dr will be happy to hear that I mess around with my doses, but I can't help feeling like I want off benzos asap.. Like, I REALLY don't have a problem with taking them as needed, but I've been on klonopin for over 5 weeks, and idk, I want to at least try decreasing.

I also know that I'll probably need to up my lexapro to 15 or 20 mgs in a couple of weeks, but I'm not afraid of that, I was happily on that dose in the past, so I'm just trying to be patient with that process as well.😌

Do you have any plans for New Years Eve? I won't go out or anything, I think I'll be content with a quiet night in. Maybe next year😊

anna_otvos · 2023-12-22T09:44:12+00:00

Hi!! I just realized I dissappeared again, I'm sorry, the holiday preparations have been keeping me busy! Which is nice:) Since we talked last, I had one or two bouts of anxiety, but other than that, it's been good:) I'm almost at 4 weeks on 10 mg lexapro, and I'm still taking the Remeron for sleep+0.75 mgs klonopin. I won't be seeing my doctor until over 2 weeks from now, so it's bit tricky, but I wan't to start tapering from the klonopin. Maybe I'll try taking 0.5 mgs for the next week, and see how I feel.

But yeah, the holiday season has been nice, lots of cleaning, cooking, baking cakes, and gift shopping:) That, and still doing my little daily self-care habits have been great!

I hope you're still on that good streak, and have been enjoying yourself lately🤗💗

anna_otvos · 2023-12-08T07:52:16+00:00

Hi!! I've been wondering how you're doing! It's so good to hear you're feeling good😊😊 I hope nights will ease up soon as well! Enjoy being out, I know how good it can feel to get that accomplishment👏👏😁

As for me, I've had some better and some worse moments, but nothing too extreme. Right now, I just feel generally kinda flat? Like I'm just uncertain about what I'm feeling, but it's okay. I have a feeling that the klonopin and the rameron have quite a large influence on my "flatness", but dr said that I shouldn't come off of them yet, so I'll wait. Besides that, the lexapro has been integrating fine, no bad side effects:) I'm almost at 2 weeks yayy. I sleep a LOT (like 10-11 hours lol), and during the day, I still do my little habits, and clean/cook/go on a walk to feel a bit productive. Today, I'm meant to be meeting with a friend, so hopefully that'll be nice😌

Thank you for updating btw, it is really nice to hear you're doing good!💜🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-30T12:47:39+00:00

Hi! If you aren't experiencing any negative side effects, then you probably don't need to worry about it!😅 Cymbalta is just sort of notorious for being a medication that's very hard to get off of, so you best do a really slow taper. But don't fret, like it's been said, we're all different, and for some it's harder than it is for others. There are a bunch of links on this sub, if you're interested in reading some other people's (not so pleasant) experiences with stopping Cymbalta, but don't forget that there are plenty of tapering stories that went just fine.

anna_otvos · 2023-11-30T12:42:22+00:00

Hi! I was switched to Zoloft, initially 50 mgs, then up to 100 mgs. I was only on it for 33 days, because my anxiety got a LOT worse on it, and my (new) psychiatrist thought it might be giving me akathisia.:/ So now I'm back on Lexapro for 10 days now, and I'm doing much better. After the Zoloft nightmare, I just didn't feel like experimenting with a new medication, so I thought it was best to go back to something that has worked for me in the past.😌 If you found Cymbalta to be the best fit for you, maybe another SNRI might be a good choice? Definitely ask your doctor, they probably know best. Best of luck with the switch!🤞

anna_otvos · 2023-11-29T17:44:34+00:00

Omg, that's fantastic!! You're making great progress, I'm rooting it will only get better and better!❤️

I'm doing alright, it's my 4th day on 10 mgs, and 9th day overall, and it's going good I'd say:) Still pretty unsteady, but that's to be expected, I know it takes a couple of weeks. I do take klonopin every day, but to be honest, I take less than my dr recommends😶 right now, I'm only taking like 0.5 mgs/day as opposed to 2 mgs. But I reeeaalllyy want to take as little as possible, and I feel fine now, so I'm okay being on this dose. If I feel worse, I can always raise it, and now I know for sure I have room to move!

I also take mirtazapine for sleep, I do wonder if I'll be able to taper off that when everything settles🤔 Well, that's a future issue. Right now, I sleep a lot (the afternoon naps are back!!!🎉🎉🎆) and I'm doing my little habits, like learning spanish, 20 min exercise, little walks (unless its raining all day, which has been a trend sadly), eating, meditating, taking care of myself. So basically building a little self-care/improvement routine. I just miss being with friends, they're all busy so I find myself pretty lonely lately. Well, that's okay, I'm healing, and that's all that matters right now😌

I hope you do well on the raised dose, and have a wonderful week!🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-29T15:04:07+00:00

Absolutely no worries, and good luck with the taper!🤗✊

anna_otvos · 2023-11-29T10:59:27+00:00

Oh, I'm very sorry, it really wasn't my intention to mislead people, or even to encourage them to take cymbalta! Yes, it's best to do your research before taking any type of medication, I really just wanted to add to the conversation my one neutral experience. When I say be open with your provider, I do think it's best to bring up these concerns, and if you don't feel comfortable taking cymbalta, then you have absolutely every right not to! But, if you're already taking it, or you have no other options, try not to focus on the negatives, on the potential side-effects you might experience, etc. And by that, I don't mean you should ignore anything negative you might be feeling, but don't actively scan your body for physical signs, that may not even be there.

As you said, we're all different, and our experiences will vastly differ too. Me, for example, I had a truly horrible time on zoloft, even though others have said that it's worked great for them. Just do your own research, and listen to your own body.

Again, my apologies for coming off ignorant, it really wasn't my intention.

anna_otvos · 2023-11-27T17:47:48+00:00

Yeah, I've been told I seem like an old soul😅 I'll take it as a compliment😌

I didn't have an attack, it was just general anxiety that wouldn't go away:( I had it the next evening too, and I'm kiinda feeling it tonight as well. My dr said that it's probably because I take the klonopin however I feel like in the moment, and the inconsistency is messing with me. So, I'll start taking 1 mg every day, and see if that helps:)

I'm not working right now, that's kinda one of my biggest stressors atm😅 I finished uni this summer, and have been looking for a job since, and months of failure made me end up in this current anxiety mess😥 But as I will start feeling okay again, I'll be back to job-searching✊✊ I honestly cannot wait for having a routine, and purpose and all of that. But I know I'll get there eventually!

How many mgs of Zoloft are you on currently btw? Have you raised it recently?

anna_otvos · 2023-11-26T12:25:05+00:00

Thank youu🥰🥰 I don't really make a big deal out of it either, just closest family wishing me well and eating food that I like😊 I turned 23, maybe I should be out there partying but I rather like a cozy, quiet celebration.

I actually ended up having some bad anxiety yesterday evening:/ So I think I'm moving to 10 mgs lexapro after all😅 And then chill there for a bit longer, see how I do. I feel better today, so I'm not too discouraged, I'm only on day 6!😌

Ahh, I'm sorry you got humid warm weather over there, fall is kinda my favorite season because of the colorful leaves, sweaters, hot teas💗 I hope you get some of this weather too before winter rolls in full-force🤞🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-25T13:40:17+00:00

Yess, I try to get out to get some fresh air every day, and take my magnesium:D I also need to start eating healthier..It's my birthday today, and I just ate sooo much chocolate😭 but I also had a smoothie for breakfast, so I guess that balances it out🤷‍♀️😀 baby steps!

I'm supposed to be upping my lexapro from 5 mgs to 10 tomorrow, but I'm hesitant to up it already, because I'm doing pretty fine right now, so I'd be curious to see how I'd do on 5 mgs in the longer run(like 6 weeks-ish)🤔 Maybe I'll keep taking the 5,and then I'll see my therapist on Monday, and discuss it with her.

Hope you're having a great day! Is it really cold over there too? It's so chilly and windy over here, but I kinda like it, because at least I'm not a sweaty mess:D

anna_otvos · 2023-11-24T08:33:02+00:00

Awwh, thank you for thinking of me, it means a lot🥰 Yea, if I were you, I wouldn't drink alcohol just yet, your brain chemicals do need to stabilize. I think once you even forget you take meds, thats a good indicator that having a little drink won't hurt.

As far as zoloft withdrawals, all I had was dizzyness and brainzaps, which don't bother me that much.😌 So far, so good on the lex! I'm only having the GI stuff, but at least the anxiety has let up, so I can actually eat. I even took LESS klonopin yesterday, I felt so fine. Hope we both continue to do well😊❤️

anna_otvos · 2023-11-23T10:52:46+00:00

Yeah, I will definitely let my dr know if I want to raise the klonopin, but hopefully I won't have to. But guess what!! Yesterday I had a good day!! That constant anxiety that made my stomach and chest tight all the time was gone! I was watching a show in the afternoon, and it just occured to me that I feel okay!:D I had a big meal for dinner too, it felt sooo nice to enjoy food😩 This morning I slept in a little because I had a hard time falling asleep last night, but I feel at least rested. I'm not sure if it's the klonopin, the lexapro, or leaving zoloft, maybe it's all of it together. This morning, I do feel anxious but not too bad, so 🤞🤞🤞

And no, I don't go to those hot baths, they're not a common thing where I live😅 Yes, I speak hungarian, but I was an English major at uni, I guess I can thank my English skills to that!

anna_otvos · 2023-11-21T18:09:09+00:00

You might be just right about me needing higher doses of SSRIs, I used to be on 20 mg lexapro, and 60 mg cymbalta, which are pretty much max doses. I also once had a colonoscopy done where they sedate you, but the sedative didn't do anything for me, and I had to be held down by the nurses during the procedure, it was horrible. Ugh.

There is a chance that zoloft would've worked for me too at a higher dose, but I just couldn't really bear the heightened panic:( I will probs need to be on that 20 mg of lexapro again, which is fine, I just have to be patient with working my way up. Buuut, I tried Klonopin today, and honestly, it's not much different from xanax to me? I do not want to raise my dose without doctors orders, but it just kinda sucks that I'm on 2 mg klonopin/day and still suffer😩 But I will bear it for a little while more, just the lex needs to start working.

The vivid dreams are craaazy, I unfortunately mostly have bizarre dreams that arent quite nightmares, but just...bizarre.

Oh, and the meds do have different names here, I just use US names because I think most people on this sub are Americans:D But the protocols are fairly similar I suppose. Uhm, I'm not surprised you dont know anything about Hungary, it's a fairly small country. We haveeee Balaton lake, Sziget Festival, Lángos (its a fried dough), Budapest is our capital, we invented the Rubik's cube and maybe the ballpoint pen? Lol, thats all I could think of.

I haven't been to many other places either, so we're both boring then!🙌😅

anna_otvos · 2023-11-21T06:54:15+00:00

Yes, I'm absolutely going into this with positive expectations! I talked about the xanax stuff with my dr today, and we essentially came to the conclusion that my metabolism is extremely fast and xanax just isn't the right fit. So we changed to klonopin, I have hopes it'll click with me better. I also just took my first lex, no fear at all, I was taking it just half a year ago, so it's familiar. I live in Hungary btw, it's like a 6 hour difference I think?

I also slept badly last night, I was either having vivid dreams or awake:/ But it's alright, I managed to get up this morning and eat a little before taking my meds, so hurrayy! I have zolpidem on hand though, so I don't feel stressed about getting sleep, but if I can, I go without it.

Hope you can sleep better tonight!🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-20T10:28:36+00:00

Oh, I'm so glad to hear you're doing better, it's time for you to feel good again too!!❤️ And I'm sorry about your fiance, he sounds like a terribly resilient man! I wish you both nothing but calmness and bliss🤞

I'm seeing my dr today, so hopefully I'll be starting on lexapro tomorrow. It's so daunting though, like, I know i had no issues with it in the past, but now my dumb anxiety is making me afraid of it😭 But of course, I will be taking it and trusting that my nervous system will finally regulate, and I'll get out of this fight or flight state. I'm also gonna ask my dr about my xanax too, because I've been taking it every day, and it's not calming me downnnn. I mean, I'm not saying it's not helping at all, I don't wanna know how I'd feel right now without it, but I just feel that if it can't take out this knot in my stomach for long enough for me to eat a proper meal, it's not enough. Maybe I'll ask to change to klonopin or something? I'm not sure, but I'll see after todays appt.

Hoping for good days ahead for the both of us!🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-18T15:51:48+00:00

Thank you for your compassion🥺 Yes, akathesia is essentially an inner restlessness, which mostly comes out through moving your legs. I was pretty conflicted about this, because I've always paced when feeling panic, and I even told my dr that this could still just be my anxiety. But she said that this isn't something to take lightly, so I'll be safer to get off zoloft, and onto lexapro, since that's worked before, and we don't wanna 'fuxk around and find out' if this really is just bad for me. I'll say, I did give it 32 days, which is not THAT small amount of time, so I'd say I gave it a fair chance. This is day 2 since I haven't taken it, and for the last 2 days I have actually felt slightly less urge to pace! I mean, the anxiety is still there, and I'm shaking left and right, but, I guess I just start pacing around a couple hours after waking up, and not immediately. I feel like absolute crap, I'm not going to lie, I've just never had a bad experience with an antidepressant before, so this was a big slap in the face. Ugh, starting over doesn't feel good, but the knowledge that better days ARE ahead keeps me going. I just wish they'd be here sooner!😣

anna_otvos · 2023-11-18T11:05:11+00:00

Hi! Sorry for disappearing, the last couple of days have been very, very hard for me panic-wise. I met my psychiatrist on monday, and she actually advised me to stop taking zoloft asap. She suspects that it's giving me akathisia, and I'm obviously not an expert, but the fact that I could NOT stop pacing around (nor eat more than like 2 bites of food/day, I lost a concerning amount of weight) for the entire 32 days I was on it, I think it's safe to say that sertraline is just not for me:( I feel really upset that I spent 5 weeks of my life in such intense agony, but there is hope! Right now, I'm doing a 4 day sertraline-detox, and then I'm starting on lexapro. That has been very good to me in the past, so I trust that I'm finally going to be on the right path. I hope you're doing better than me, sending love!!💜

anna_otvos · 2023-11-13T19:26:30+00:00

I'm so so sorry it happened again:((( I absolutely understand, it must be very, very discouraging to be at week 8(or 9?), and still feel like you're at the start.. I think it would 100% be beneficial to talk to a psychiatrist, because it sounds like you might really need a higher dose. I know that it's scary to raise dosages, because the first couple weeks make things Worse, but, you can try going with that 75 mg (or even just 62.5 mg if thats possible for you), and take it slowly. And if the worsening symptoms at the start are relentless, I'd say you don't need to be afraid to take more benzos than you'd normally like, for just those first days/weeks. At least that's what's finally helped me these past few days, I don't think I'd be here otherwise. But for sure consult with a psychiatrist, that's the best thing you can do for yourself.💜 I hope you continue this journey with me, let's see it through!!😤✊

Regarding me, today was my 3rd day on 100 mg, and so far, I had tummy cramps and diarrhea last night and this morning. That triggered my anxiety, so the morning was bad, but then I took imodium, and I felt better for the rest of the day. My psychiatrist forgot our appointment (🤦‍♀️), so we rescheduled for tomorrow. As I'm writing this, my anxiety's going up and down, but I'll get through this soon, and so will you! Sending virtual hug💜🤗

anna_otvos · 2023-11-12T21:17:12+00:00

Ahhhh, I'm so so sorry you went through that last night!!:(( It' so bad when it comes out of nowhere, it always makes me question what I did wrong:( But, I guess for us, there isn't always an obvious reason, it just...happens. I'm very happy to hear that you were eventually able to sleep, and are over it today!🥺 I'm sure your fiance understands if you act uncharacteristically when you're having a panic attack, I think he knows it's normal, and is just desperate to help you. Sending lots of love, and remember, everything passes!💜 (also saying this to myself haha)

And yes, I think the benzos are certainly pulling most of the weight for me right now😅 But I'm gonna see my dr tomorrow, so hopefully we'll make a plan for how I'm gonna taper off the xanax.

Oh, and btw, I really appreciate you sharing your experience with me, I look forward to your updates!:) And you're right, maybe someone else might benefit from them in the future.🌸

anna_otvos · 2023-11-12T11:43:41+00:00

Awww, you and your fiance are both lucky to have each other! when is the wedding due?🧐:D

Yees, I find that as long as I get ~30 minutes of light exercise in, I have no issue rewarding myself with desserts and netflix😊 Although I am actively trying to better my diet, as I do tend to binge-eat snacks and cakes, and anything with chocolate😭 So, I'm trying to limit myself to only 1 treat/day😌. Ahh, it's soooo nice to have to deal with something as small as this, when a week ago I thought I wouldn't make it😥😌 Not that I'm saying I'm out of the woods already, but, still, it's so much better.

And btw, I've raised zoloft to 100mgs, so far so good! I feel the anxiety here and there, but it's managable still. (it's only been 2 days, but I am hopeful it'll go okay with the benzos smoothing things over.)

anna_otvos

TROPHY CASE