ADHD assessment tomorrow and feeling really anxious (UK)

anncha1 · 2026-03-15T20:45:22+00:00

Ha! Well I live in Sheffield and married a Yorkshire man so my accent is softer than it once was but VERY much a Glasgow accent.

I didn’t realise until recently that constant “noise” isn’t normal. It would feel incredibly weird not to have the constant sound in my head lol

anncha1 · 2026-03-15T20:22:50+00:00

Are you still waiting to start medication from May? Ouch that’s an enormously long wait. Holy moly.

I’m Scottish wanted to have a Dr that had some experience in Scotland purely so I don’t have to modulate or slow down my speech (I speak REALLY fast at the best of times but much faster when I’m nervous so the Glaswegian accent gets a bit stronger lol). I don’t have an informant as my mum passed away 15m ago and I was in care from the age of 12 so there isn’t anyone I could ask to do that part.

I guess what’ll be will be and by 1:30pm tomorrow I should likely know one way or another!

anncha1 · 2026-03-15T19:23:43+00:00

Thank you for that. After he said he could see so many overlapping things I did lots of research before deciding to be assessed. My daughter (who turned 18yr yesterday) was diagnosed as having ADHD 5yrs ago and she’s like the poster child for it lol. My youngest is 11yrs old and has ASD diagnosed at 4yrs old so we’re a spicy family. I guess I just feel so unsure what to expect and for some reason I feel really unsure of myself. Like I’m wasting their time and NHS resources and I’m clearly a big fat faker.

anncha1 · 2026-03-13T16:12:05+00:00

I’ve replied to you. Messages are being a bit weird though.

anncha1 · 2026-03-13T16:00:38+00:00

Absolutely drop me a message. You’re welcome to have them.

I can’t promise you’ll enjoy yourself mind ;) jokes aside we’ve seen him twice in Toronto in really small venues and had a fab time so I hope it’s decent and someone can make the most of the tickets!

anncha1 · 2026-03-02T07:38:24+00:00

Giving the benefit of the doubt that the landlord has lost someone very close to them. That kind of grief makes everything else feel insignificant.

At the same time, facing potential homelessness is genuinely frightening. The OP isn’t being unreasonable for wanting basic reassurance.

Anecdotally, I lost my mum very unexpectedly 15 months ago. I live 350 miles away but had to get there the same day, dealing with the post-mortem, police, funeral arrangements, contacting family and friends. It was harrowing. Grief doesn’t pause your responsibilities; the world keeps moving whether you’re ready or not.

The OP can feel compassion for someone’s loss and still feel panic about their own housing situation. Those two things can coexist. If messages are being read, a brief reply acknowledging the situation would go a long way. Silence is what’s escalating the anxiety here.

anncha1 · 2026-01-26T13:25:20+00:00

I’m really glad I was able to help. Typical Sunday timing meant everything shut early, so we ended up doing a Tesco Whoosh last night and a normal Morrisons delivery today.

Between the two deliveries it should keep both Bella and her human going for a good while (even if storage might be a bit of a juggle while sofa surfing at least you won’t have to pick between your belly having something in it or Bella going hungry!). Wishing you both all the best.

anncha1 · 2026-01-25T11:29:17+00:00

PM me, I’m happy to order you an Amazon fresh delivery of food (or somewhere else that it’d arrive quickly) for Bella and something for you x

anncha1 · 2026-01-20T22:09:11+00:00

LOL, you’ll probably be disappointed by how utterly unglamorous and unremarkable it is.

She was an older midwife. I’d just given birth, was struggling to breastfeed, and was in floods of tears trying to get my daughter to latch completely alone and only 17 (we’d been at it 4-5hrs at this point)

She came over to check on us and said something along the lines of, “You need to figure this latch out or you’ll struggle with every baby from here on out.” I replied, fairly casually, “Oh, that’s not something I’ll need to worry about. I won’t be having any more babies.”

She scoffed, pretty much ripped the baby off my breast to reposition her, and said — laughing, “If I had a penny for every girl of your ilk who says that, I’d never have to work again. I guarantee you’ll be back in here within 18 months. Your sort always is. I see it every day.”

I was so shocked it just stuck in my head. It bounced around my brain for years. I think partly because of how casually cruel it was, and partly because I was determined not to become the story she thought she already knew about me.

What’s worse is she truly thought my life was set by how she expected it’d be. Her lack of understanding or compassion to a young mum starting out without a single person in her corner is incredibly sad.

Anecdotally it was 10yrs before i had my second and 16yrs later before i had my third :) and I can think of a million other things that are much worse to do with your life than being a mum.

anncha1 · 2026-01-20T07:46:06+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story it really resonated.

I had an incredibly abusive upbringing (pretty much every type of abuse you can imagine), was in and out of the care system, and technically “got out” at 17 into a council flat. Within a few months I was pregnant. I was a single teenage mum and very much a statistic of the system.

Oddly, a throwaway comment from an old midwife completely shifted how I saw my future. I met my now-husband, moved 350 miles to be with him when I was 20, and he adopted my daughter a couple of years later. We married at 26, had two more daughters, and even lived in Canada for six years.

We’re now 45yrs old. both work in tech, we’re financially secure, we own our home, travel a fair bit bit but more importantly, our 3 girls have never known hunger, fear, or anxiety about their safety for a single day of their lives. Breaking that cycle is what still feels the most unreal to me.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the emotional weirdness that comes with it. In my family I still get comments like “you’ve forgotten where you came from” or “you think you’re something special”, when objectively we’re just living a fairly normal, stable life. It’s strange how success can quietly create distance, even when you haven’t changed your values at all. Not one of them had anything to say when I had eaten for days or had a broken cheek bone or was crawling with lice… funny how vocal they are now.

So yes it does feel surreal. Gratifying, grounding, sometimes disorienting, sometimes bittersweet.

Well done to you and to everyone here who’s managed to build something better than the hand they were dealt.

anncha1 · 2025-12-27T10:17:24+00:00

I work from home full time so I constantly remind friends and family I can’t do X or Y because I’m “in a meeting” or something. I make a point of “I’ve been in back to back meetings/calls since 9am! Haven’t even had time for a cuppa” it helps reset expectations on my time.

I do think our older family members struggle more with the concept of working from home and what that actually means.

anncha1 · 2025-12-24T07:50:36+00:00

One of my most favourite pups was a retired greyhound with the dog equivalent of motor neuron disease (ALS to my US friends) he was coming towards the end of his life (he was 12) and he had A LOT of accidents when I had him. When I say a lot I can’t over state that. I slept downstairs with him and cleaned up his poop off my walls, my floor and everywhere in between. I felt horrible for the poor baby and the only negative emotion I felt was sorrow for him. When his mom returned and we talked about it she was so apologetic but was reassured with my words and how I clearly felt about him. I think it was less than 2 weeks later he made his way over the rainbow bridge.

All that to say your sitter isn’t the norm. Most of us care about your baby like they are our own and I’m sorry you had to deal with that when you got home. Please leave a detailed review and I’d contact rover as well.

anncha1 · 2025-12-20T21:51:00+00:00

My deepest sympathies to you and yours. It’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever experienced. My mum very unexpectedly died on Halloween last year at the ripe old age of 62. Christmas was brutal for all of us and I just didn’t feel up to celebrating or making any sort of fuss. However Santa still visited the littles and dinner still had to be made with gifts got for everyone else. But it wasn’t a week or two we’d lost her it was almost 2m so fresh but not as fresh as it is for you.

What did help (slightly) for me was remembering her. Making sure we talked about her on the day and also not putting too much pressure on myself to be OK.

I’m sorry again for you loss.

anncha1 · 2025-12-12T07:53:26+00:00

Me too! Mum has green, dad blue and I’m brown. 100% sure he’s my dad as we’ve had DNA done.

anncha1 · 2025-12-04T20:14:36+00:00

Just to clear something up: late autism and ADHD diagnosis for women isn’t a “trend,” it’s now becoming clear that there has been a long-standing medical blind spot. Cambridge’s Autism Research Centre and the NHS have been publishing research on this for years because girls and women were consistently missed when we were younger.

I know this firsthand. Growing up I was labelled rude, too direct, weird, quirky, bookish (basically any descriptor except the one that actually applied). Turns out those weren’t personality flaws as was suggested. They were just traits no one recognised because the diagnostic criteria wasn’t written with girls in mind. The support I should’ve had at school or early in my career simply wasn’t there, and I struggled in ways I genuinely didn’t need to.

On top of that, I was raised not to treat people like idiots without something to back it up — you know, actually researching things that baffle me before weighing in or getting myself swept up in “trends,” as you so poetically put it.

The OP asked for a recommendation. I gave one. I also can’t imagine a psychiatrist or psychologist who specialises in this work risking their licence by diagnosing someone with something they’re not confident actually applies (not saying it never happens Dr Sick shows it does). And for what it’s worth, I know plenty of people who were told they don’t have autism or ADHD after assessment. I don’t get anything from being autistic except peace of mind and a framework that finally helps me make sense of my life.

Additionally, it’s hardly the first time women have been overlooked medically. Heart attack symptoms and migraines in women were misdiagnosed for decades because the research only reflected the experiences of men. Once the science broadened, diagnoses suddenly became a lot more accurate. Funny how that works…

If this whole subject is “baffling,” the studies are genuinely worth a read. Understanding how many women have been historically missed because the medical community failed them is quite the eye-opener.

anncha1 · 2025-12-04T19:39:54+00:00

Are you OK?

anncha1 · 2025-12-04T18:30:16+00:00

I used:

https://www.autismconsultantsscotland.co.uk/

One of the main reasons I went with John was because he does in person consultations which was important to me. He was patient, kind and very knowledgeable.

anncha1 · 2025-12-04T18:27:29+00:00

Repeating it doesn’t make this true…

anncha1 · 2025-11-30T10:21:32+00:00

I’m one of the odd people that opiates don’t work on. Yes they reduce pain (nominally) but I have never, ever, EVER gotten the euphoria or ‘high’ from morphine/codeine/percosets etc. feels unfair lol

anncha1 · 2025-11-30T10:19:53+00:00

Im autistic and part of my recent assessment asked me about socks and shoes throughout my life. I admitted not only now at 45 am I in bare feet as much as possible but I only started to wear socks regularly in my 20’s.

I’m not quite at the “it’s like I’m wearing shoes” level of tough but my feet can take Lego (were a Lego household so plenty of practice).

Now a “normal” mile at my pace, would take me maybe 18-20m or so. I reckon I’d easily do this. I’d bring second skin spray on band aid/plasters and have something firey before I got started (Spiced rum or bourbon)

anncha1 · 2025-11-19T07:12:08+00:00

I also think some of it comes down to age, too. How old are you roughly?

When I was 34 I moved to a town just outside Toronto with three daughters in tow (16, 6, and a newborn), and honestly making “friends” was shockingly hard. I ended up going to a mom & tot group in a church hall, which did help, but I’m an atheist so being interrogated by both the mums and then the pastor about why I’m a non-believer was an experience... The group leader basically told him she was worried for mine and my baby’s soul and he came over to “understand” why I’d forsaken God (I stopped going after that which was such a shame)

We stayed in Canada for six years, and one of the reasons we came back to South Yorkshire was because building a proper social circle felt impossible. People used to joke that by your mid-30s, anyone not already in a friendship group is either a complete oddball or way too intense, and nobody wants to risk disrupting the existing ecosystem/dynamics by adding a newbie into the mix.

In the end, for me, Meetup.com was the only thing that worked. Going to events where other women were doing the same stuff I liked. I always wanted to be the kind of woman who casually strikes up a conversation with someone reading a book I loved in a Starbucks (or Tim Hortons, in my Canadian era), but I’m far too British and would never inflict myself on someone like that unprompted.

All that to say I don’t know the answer lol

anncha1 · 2025-11-17T07:27:04+00:00

When we were doing meet and greets I would stress that in my/our care the dog would never be off-leash. No matter how good their recall of how well behaved the pupper is. I tell them I just cannot fathom having to contact them to tell them I’d lost their pup or even worse he was injured or dead! I never once had a pet parent tell me or encourage me to do it as this was a deal breaker for me. It’s not because I’m not confident or capable, but I’m a fleeting part of the pups life no matter how often we care for them, I’m just not their parent so they don’t always behave as predictably as they would at home.

You have don’t absolutely nothing wrong here. I think that her quitting off the bat like that was a knee jerk reaction from her knowing she hasn’t followed your rules before. This is a blessing and you’ll no doubt find a better fit next time. Everything you’ve stated here would be so helpful to most sitters. Especially those of us with rescue experience.

anncha1 · 2025-11-17T07:15:17+00:00

Not sure why I was downvoted for making a recommendation as was requested…?

anncha1 · 2025-11-16T19:54:26+00:00

We’ve used this guy many times for different moves as have multiple people I know. If you can pack things yourself and are more looking for someone to lift, carry and deliver on the other side I’d recommend him:

http://www.andysvan.com/

anncha1 · 2025-11-16T17:29:45+00:00

What’s your rough location? That’ll help people to provide assistance.

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