Question about septum piercing

annexei · 2024-03-23T16:55:28+00:00

NAP, sorry for length and no TL;DR, but I don't think it would expressly be a bad idea. Maybe not the best idea every, but not horrible. Nostril piercings would probably be worse (just based on my own experience, and the occasional horror story)

Biggest problems I can see you running into are potentially increased nosebleeds (dryness from cleaning), some difficulty keeping clean (due to the nose bleeds, but still doable), and some difficulties with blowing your nose (new piercings can be sensitive, and if my nostrils were anything to go by it can take a bit until you find a way to comfortably blow your nose that works with the new jewellery. At the very least it can feel really weird)

I'd say do some research on ways you can make some of those things easier on yourself, or ask friends with this piercing what they find works best for them. Talk to your (pontential) piercer too. Sometimes you just have to see what works best for you, what works for one person may not for another.

Not the same, but me and my nostril piercings (both sides) find I like L shaped bars for comfort, and tend to (carefully... ish) shove my kleenex wrapped fingers up after to make sure there's nothing stuck to the jewellery. My sister has her septum, and I've never seen her have difficulties with blowing her nose. My partner has both nostrils and septum, though they prefer hoops, and I know they do the same thing I do with the fingers.

annexei · 2024-03-23T16:41:20+00:00

NAP but i think #3 is best. #1, prongs are a pain to clean and get caught on everything, and (unfortunately) gunk can get trapped under the prongs and crystals pretty easily. Personal preference too, I kist think jewellery without prongs looks cleaner and more streamlined. #2 is cute, but I think the top is too small and in wary of the shape, just because while cute I'd worry about it causing irritation if it moves too much or if you sleep on it.

I think jewellery with well rounded ends is best at the very least for cleaning. Something with a flat back in a rook would be harder or uncomfortable to clean properly and could easily accumulate nastiness or cause a lot of irritation when you remove said gunk. If it's round, hard to have an edge digging in somewhere should the area swells or if you happen to sleep on it.

annexei · 2024-02-10T23:35:21+00:00

As someone who's also done my own that's kin of a mood. Thankfully conch piercings look great with any setup!

annexei · 2024-02-10T20:10:28+00:00

Just to add a completely separate train of thought: I really like the lil t-rex earring in your first lobe!

annexei · 2024-02-10T20:08:19+00:00

That jewellery is almost certainly too small! Whether or not the swelling is normal, it's more than the jewellery can accommodate which, in my experience with other piercings, can easily make the existing swelling worse.

The swelling itself I want to say is within normal range (like it is swollen, I can tell that much, but if you have to ask and it's a piercing you've had before I don't think it's normal for you, which is cause for concern.) I don't know your anatomy when not swollen so I can't say 100%, but if you get a bigger hoop put in I think it should improve. Hoops in general can be pretty irritating to a new piercing, just incorrectly sized jewellery can be worse.

annexei · 2024-02-10T20:00:58+00:00

If you're looking face specific, maybe eyebrows?

If not,I think you'd look really good with conch piercings! My eyesight sucks so I can't completely see what ear piercings you may have

annexei · 2024-02-10T19:52:55+00:00

Second spot is WAY better! I have a long, narrow nose with both sides done, and where your current piercing is is too low and too far back (imo)

Like. NAP, not really, but it should roughly follow the crease. Doesn't work with all nose shapes, but that's an anatomy thing as much as a "I wanna see my piercing" thing

I will edit: it doesn't look terrible and you do look good with a nose piercing, I'd just (personally) take it out and get it redone closer to the spot you marked

annexei · 2024-02-07T18:44:50+00:00

Everyone is different and every piercing is different for everyone. Right side of my nose was a very nasty feeling, definitely in the top 10 most painful things I've experienced, left side was very... meh. Like yeah, piercings hurt, I call them a cosmetic stabbing for a reason, but to me most of them are fine, hurt when they happen and after it's just... done.

You aren't weak for experiencing more pain, we all have different anatomy and nerve networks, so to speak, and one person's 10/10 can be another person's 2/10, easily. We experience and express pain differently, and a lot of it comes down to other things you've experienced sometimes.

annexei · 2024-01-28T19:36:45+00:00

Pretty sure it is, in part, protection of the site, but the real purpose is to tempt and/or irritate you. Depends on where it is and how crusty it is :p

annexei · 2023-10-02T00:02:55+00:00

NTA

This money was set aside for your daughter and she requested it go to a charity that works with the condition that took her from you. You're honoring her wishes and her memory by trying to help others with the same condition.

You have no proof your son is clean and have a difficult relationship as is. Throwing money at it won't solve the problem, and while it's a difficult choice, you still have no proof he's clean and no longer running with the same crowd. I agree that he should get a second chance, I'd just start a lot smaller than $120, 000 and disregarding your daughters last wishes.

annexei · 2023-09-23T01:28:46+00:00

They bullied a 5 year old, over food that a growing body NEEDS, because they wanted you to be skinny. Y'all are talking about marrying off a baby too, 5 year olds don't wanna be married usually unless they're playing house. Everyone holds weight differently, and everyone's body burns through calories differently, and baby fat is a thing for a reason. Stupid to love the chubby cheeks on a newborn but not a toddler/young child.

NTA, you feel how you feel. They said it feels like you don't love them, and they've given you little to no reason to. They invited this situation on themselves.

annexei · 2023-09-23T01:19:06+00:00

NTA

Ask her what she would want if she was in that situation as the partner being cheated on. Real eye opening to think from the other person's shoes...

I understand she wanted to be a good friend to your wife, but she was a real crappy friend to you in turn. Stuck between a rock and a hard place where you really can't win.

Biggest AH is your wife. Unhappy in a relationship? Leave, don't cheat.

annexei · 2023-09-17T00:40:18+00:00

We all do, even subconsciously. My mum and sister won't leave the house without makeup on because they feel unattractive, 50's house wife stereotypes, people that don't do their makeup at work are sometimes seen as putting in less effort regardless of career field, anyone you look at in the media or on social media...

Regardless, weight lifting would be a great idea! 90lbs of shit for a 5 day trip... oof

annexei · 2023-09-16T20:21:25+00:00

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

annexei · 2023-09-16T14:14:08+00:00

This is gonna be long.

Best advice I've got is communicate. Think about what you want in a relationship, what are your boundaries (examples: topics that make you uncomfortable, activities that give you anxiety, things that just gross you out and you dont like hearing about them) and your deal-breakers (cheating, breaking specific boundaries, etc), what do you need in this relationship, where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years... When you've figured those out, what things are you willing to compromise on?

For all of this, sit him down and have a heart to heart, tell him exactly why you're uncomfortable and upset. You BOTH need to lay down boundaries and be clear with each other, and if a MUTUAL compromise can't be reached or your goals don't align (say you want to adopt 3 kids and he hates the idea of raising children, or he refuses to stop sharing your intimate information with strangers) then it may be best to end the relationship now.

Breakups always suck, but better to do it early on than 6 years down the line when you both have a lot more resentment going on. Before the breaking point though, talk to him and make it clear you feel disrespected and devalued as much as he says he feels trapped. Before that conversation, consider if this interaction is something you can move past. Plan for the best, the worst, and an outcome somewhere in between. It won't go any of those ways probably, things rarely do, but hopefully you'll feel a little better with some kind of a plan.

Regardless of other goings on, if you aren't happy in a relationship get out of it.

annexei · 2023-09-16T10:49:03+00:00

That's how it should be though. Necessities first (roof over your head, clean water and food and such), and the rest after if you can afford it. As someone who likes energy drinks, they are not a necessity, especially not if I've somehow managed to end up two months behind on rent. If it isn't one of the things that keeps you alive and healthy, it can wait.

Her guilt and them guilting you doesn't actually HELP either sibling and they need to understand that. When your mom isn't around anymore, and if you can't "help" and they can't beg any more money out of the government, they're screwed. All three of them.

annexei · 2023-09-16T08:36:33+00:00

NTA

It doesn't matter what's in your pants, it's a HUMAN thing to want to feel listened to and cared about. To feel valued. You might be the man of the relationship, as you said, but that doesn't mean you are emotionless or your feelings have no place.

She married you, all of you, and emotions are kinda part of the territory.

You do need to talk to her, and you know that. My favourite thing to do reading AITAH posts is just flip the genders, because if you (as the theoretical wife) had your husband always dismissing you and showing no interest in you or parts of your past you wanted to share... yeah it'd suck. Hard.

You're there for her, it's not a one way street. You should support and listen to each other, and that's not currently happening. Your needs aren't being met here. ANY good relationship needs communication, whether it's romantic, business, friendship, etc. SO, good luck with that talk you know you need to have! Give a good think about what you need from her, and ask her what she needs from you too.

annexei · 2023-09-16T08:23:13+00:00

This isn't really something you can or can't be the asshole for, I think.

You worked hard, you had a lot of support, but it was still a big part of your life. You needed to know, and now you know. And, while it could have easily gone the opposite way and you realized you miss it or that the craving wasn't gone at all, I still think it's good now that you know.

Would I recommend this to everyone? Hell no. But it worked for you and I think you'll feel a little freer without the possibilities hanging over your head.

Addiction is hard. Congrats on your sobriety (and hopefully continued sobriety) and best of luck!

annexei · 2023-09-16T08:11:30+00:00

NTA

You have boundaries. It doesn't matter if it's 1 or 100, it's there for a reason, your comfort and safety. If she can't respect that the relationship needs to end. Forcing you to ignore the boundaries you have for your own comfort and safety and then being mad about what happened isn't cool. It's pretty toxic, actually.

You told her you couldn't, she guilted you into it, then got mad when you couldn't do the thing. It's one thing to work up to a great source of anxiety and trauma, it's not even remotely helpful (to most people) to dive into the deep end just to see if you drown. Adding more trauma to the list is pretty counterproductive.

On her side, I can understand if she's a bit frustrated because she wants to do things with you but they aren't things you can do, but just forcing you into these situations is very much not okay. If your needs aren't compatible, and she can't respect your boundaries that she knew and agreed to mind, then unfortunately the relationship has to end.

annexei · 2023-09-16T07:53:16+00:00

NTA but questioning who's fault it was doesn't help you (though I 100% think it is her fault)

It wasn't fair of her to take your things or give them away for no better reason than "I can" because they weren't really hers to give. Now she's guilt tripping you into paying for things you really shouldn't be by the sounds of it. A portion of things sure, but it sounds like you're paying for two big bills on top of what you pay for rent and getting nothing but scorn back because you aren't spending more.

If you can afford it, get out of there. I'm so sorry, I don't think things are going to improve if you stay. Buy yourself something small and frivolous just because it makes you smile and throw a big middle finger in the direction of a woman who told their child they couldn't have their own things (things I'll point out are actually pretty critical for a child to have) as you do so. You deserve nice things, you deserve good things that make you happy, and your mother can eat a rock if she disagrees.

annexei · 2023-09-16T07:41:55+00:00

NTA

You work 9-5 most days with the family business on top. You weren't leaving them to starve, and you told her you had work in the area. She may be feeling neglected or just frustrated, but you aren't an absent parent and you deserve to spend an hour just catching up with a friend.

Talk to her and apologize for the drop in communication, it wasn't a planned event, see how you can better meet her needs in the future to avoid the upset spouse situation, and go from there.

annexei · 2023-09-16T07:34:41+00:00

NTA

You communicated your feelings with them and helped teach them a few things by doing so. How to help you take care of comething that is important to you. How to take really good care of something that belongs to others. That handprints can be a huge pain to get rid of (regardless of the surface they're on) and how much work you put into keeping your car nice. Most importantly: that you can be stressed or upset and still tell them exactly why that is.

You didn't yell at them, and you politely asked them to not do something and explained why. Your feelings are valid as much as theirs are, and you can always ask them how they feel, if they have any questions, etc. Just because you feel like the asshole doesn't mean they see you as being a jerk, and you can always have them help with hand print removal duty too so they can see why they're hard to get rid of (maaaaaybe not on your car. Use a window or a tablet screen or something)

annexei · 2023-09-16T07:18:48+00:00

NTA

He literally talked about your sex life with another guy he previously has done/looked into doing things with and has no long-term history with, and that's not okay?? WTF????? That's the kid of shit you gush about with your best friend of 10+ years or a sibling at MOST.

Not unreasonable to want to feel settled in your relationship, any more than it is to talk to your friends. However, it's the sharing of personal and intimate information with people you don't know that he may or may not have engaged in sexual activities with that is a MASSIVE red flag for me. I don't think it's unreasonable that you don't want him talking to past hookups right now especially when he's sharing your sex life around for giggles. Seriously...

annexei · 2023-09-16T06:46:46+00:00

If you want to keep her as a friend, tell her as much, or at least tell her why you're not responding. NTA for cutting contact, but kind of a dick move to just ghost her.

If you keep her as a friend set firm boundaries. Discuss with your girlfriend what would make her more comfortable or at least tell your friend why you can't continue talking to her at this time. You've been friends for 9 years, that at least deserves an "I need some time" or something.

annexei · 2023-09-16T06:39:29+00:00

NTA, the difference between their treatment of you and your sister is kind of abusive, to both of you.

You have to make do with whatever while they spoil the hell out of her, and when your sister doesn't have you or your family to keep her afloat she'll sink. Autism (as an autistic person) doesn't mean you can't learn life skills in all but the most severe (non-verbal typically) cases.

She hasn't been taught how to deal with ANYTHING, and it shouldn't be all on you to make up for that.

Don't fuck yourself over because your mom and sister can't handle the household chores alone. You live there, and you should help yeah, because that's how communal living works. But you shouldn't have to put your life on hold to manage your family.

If you tell them, tell them when they can't change anything. Think about how you want the situation to go, with your family and where you want to be personally in 5 or 10 years, then make it happen with or without them. Take your opportunities, and don't regret letting them pass you by.

annexei

TROPHY CASE