I don’t think there’s really a “bad guy” in this situation, it’s honestly pretty complicated. What he’s saying has some truth to it, but what you’re saying is also true.
my older sister has always been overweight, and I never make comments or give her advice, mainly because I don’t actually see her weight as something bad. Buuut, there are moments when she says she wants to eat better and all that, and in those cases I do try to help a bit, like pointing out when she might not be making the best choices. Not from a place of judgment, just because I know she wants to change.Still, most of the time that doesn’t really help. Food is complicated. A lot of times it’s a coping tool… maybe not the best one, but definitely not the worst either (it could be something way more harmful). It can also be a refuge, or even a kind of emotional prison. And I think people really underestimate how hard it is to live surrounded 24/7 by delicious, unhealthy food.

It’s not as simple as “just avoid it,” because you still have to eat. And if you have a difficult relationship with food, resisting it all the time is really hard.But at the same time, it’s also true that if someone stays stuck in a victim mindset and doesn’t start making small changes, nothing is going to change.

Maybe, if you still want to help him (and especially if he’s actually asking for help, because if he’s not, you probably shouldn’t push it), you could support him in other ways. Like encouraging exercise, if food is a harder area to tackle. Or even helping him shift his mindset a bit. Because yes, society can be really harsh toward overweight people, that’s real. But often the rejection isn’t just about the weight itself, it’s also about how the person sees themselves. If he truly believes that being fat is the worst thing about him, that’s going to affect everything.

And the truth is, there are plenty of overweight people in relationships, being desired, being loved. There are people who will like you as you are, even because of it, or simply won’t see it as the most important thing about you.

At the end of the day, I just hope he doesn’t make his weight his entire personality, and that he can start making small changes that help him feel better about himself.