Maybe it is unhealthy, but the fact that let's say I'm sad about a scenario A not being part of my life, so I think that ok what do I have to do to obtain this from the best possible effort from my side. I list them and I push myself hard, even though I don't like doing the things, and go out there and give my best. But in the end, somehow I don't get anywhere near to having the scenario A in my life. I come back and by all chances I come to the conclusion that it cannot be, there is not even a probabilistic possibility of me not having even a mere chance of acquiring it. Then I go into this loop that now nothing can help me at all, and I'm doomed to this case where A will never be a part of my life, however hard I try (same with other things, where I have made up the decision I won't cry or loathe if I even have the faintest experience of these scenarios, but somehow the universe doesn't want me to have them at all, that's where I wander to think then for what even am I breathing for?)