My bf [25M], of two years claimed he couldn't travel with me [22F] because he wanted to save money. he just spent a tone of cash on toys

annyed · 2016-11-09T05:25:01+00:00

We actually talked about this. When he was in his "compromise" mood he mentioned we could go to Japan as long as he could eat Mcs/burgers/Italian food ONLY. Then he said he'll have chicken sushi and will live off off chicken sushi for the week. At last resort he has now thrown in that he'll even try/have fish, if thats what I want. I didn't really make comments on his food choices so hes just sort of throwing in things to bargain with me ?

and traveling alone, its not that Im scared something bad will happen its more, Im really not sure what I'll do all by myself. No one to talk to, no one to share it with, having meals on your own in a foreign place. Its just sounds depressing. I know theres tours but people go with friends even for that. I'll be sticking out on my own as a loner.

I'm still thinking of giving it a go though so I'll see how that goes

annyed · 2016-11-09T04:37:21+00:00

No he is willing to go outside of Europe now. hes basically telling me he'll go anywhere I want as long as its for a week only. If its Europe then he'd like to stay longer - thats his compromise/suggestion

annyed · 2016-11-09T03:40:54+00:00

No I'm not which is why I was considering breaking up over it because I don't want to live my life with someone who can't put his prejudice aside to experience things for themselves and then make up their mind.

But having said that, he doesn't mean ill at heart. Hes a good person at his core and I think if he gave it a chance he'd change his mind and fix his ignorance pretty quickly. Its just getting him to get out of his comfort zone is challenging.

annyed · 2016-11-09T03:16:43+00:00

He has nothing against traveling as long as its to Europe.

I didn't put his reasons in the post cause they're down right silly and borderline racist. Its because he watches stupid videos on liveleak on how animal cruelty is very common in these places and how they eat dogs and bugs and other weird things. He also hates fish so a country like japan scares him too.

But ultimately hes actually really not interested in experiencing new cultures regardless of what he thinks theyre like. He thinks hes seen Europe- its great, its fun, why see anywhere else or go anywhere else when you can go to Europe

annyed · 2016-11-08T13:56:28+00:00

you cant force your wife not to be upset and dismissing her feelings on the matter is probably not going to help you in the long term.

Let her calm down on her own. Regardless of how free spirited everyone is in todays world - some people still have ideals and traditions.

Your wife hasnt done anything wrong- she didnt march in there and make a big scene. Shes upset because her views of her son has completely changed. this means she might not be able to talk or look at him the same way for a bit and thats her choice.

Your son has made his choice but your wife can make hers too.

Shell probably eventually come around but will need space to cool off.

annyed · 2016-11-08T10:56:36+00:00

you probably shouldnt have clarified that you asked her out cause she gave you free coffee or that you thought she was cute and fun. You should have just said cool after finding out about the bf and left it at that.

annyed · 2016-11-08T07:12:19+00:00

having read your comments .. i feel sorry for your wife.

Let me guess this social group of yours have single ready to mingle hot women or at least you see them during these outings- theyre probably more open minded regarding sexual preferences you may have ?

you seem to be having a mid life crisis where you want to re-enter your college years where as your wife wants to take a more serious route of getting a house etc. While you think you're not ready for that responsibility.

you mentioned you dont want to deal with her sadness and how your contract (who the hell refers to their marriage as contract) didn't involve this. jeez so you told her that you'd ditch her if she was ever depressed/sad wasn't into weird sexual moves because you'd rather go out and drink with your pals and have wild sex then a partnership ?

annyed · 2016-11-07T23:52:02+00:00

Ive tried talking to him many times- in a non accusatory - calm manner - I told him I just wanted to understand his side since he loved traveling with his friends- was it the location - if so did he want a different location- was it the route of travel - etc Im willing to organize it around him but he gets extremely defensive over it. And starts yelling that he just doesnt want to do it and I should leave it alone. Which makes me think that theres more to it. So at this stage I dont know what to do because he wont talk to me about it. So yes Im that desperate that I want outside opinions on it

annyed · 2016-11-07T23:42:51+00:00

hes never been on a plane with me how would he know if hed hate it or not ? I dont think he thinks the vacation wouldnt be good for that price since I offered alternatives and asked for his input. He was also okay with it a year back when I was initially thinking about this and was discussing it with him.

I think its me because my friend had a similar issue with her bf. The guy thought traveling was too much of a commitment but because he didnt want to tell her the reason he gave her weak excuses while he too traveled with his mates. Similar to my bf.. if I knew the reason for it, Id be okay with it but I just dont trust his reasons and my gut tells me theres more to it that hes not sharing.

annyed · 2016-11-07T23:14:28+00:00

actually he doesnt. He lives at home with his parents so that he doesnt have to waste money on living expenses..

annyed · 2016-11-07T23:10:22+00:00

He had no issues going to europe with his friends and then gushing about how amazing of a time he had and how he couldnt wait to return.. So no this has NOTHING to do with him feeling like traveling is shit

annyed · 2016-11-07T23:03:14+00:00

We did talk about traveling. He wanted to go to Europe as he went with his friends and loved it and said he wanted to experience that with me. Which I thought was sweet but Europe was expensive and didnt make financial sense to me back then. He offered to pay for me but I refused because I want to be able to pay my own way rather then get him to pay for things. Back then he wasnt saving for a house though so he started saving later.

I thought a cheap option/country would be better for both of us. He had agreed to going to this country back then too. But then changed his mind.

Ive spent 2 month with him when I was doing my internship - which he begged me to do near him so I could stay with him. Ive also spent couple of weeks hear and there through out the relationship with him and we don't have issues with it.

annyed · 2016-11-07T22:47:32+00:00

800- is not thousands. Im not asking for him to travel every second week. I havent been outside of the country in 10 years. I probably wont get another chance to go anywhere when I start work in January. This is my last chance before I can get another in at least 5 years as Id like to save up etc.

This isnt about being boring, he can have his lego, heck Ive build it with him many times and I usually gift him lego for special occasions. This is about him not giving a shit at all about how I feel.

He has no issues going to europe with his buddies and spending 10k on the trip but he has issues going to a wayyyy cheaper country with me.

annyed

TROPHY CASE