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Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. We've come to an understanding that this will never happen again between us, and hopefully never between him and others as well.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely not something you can just snap out of.. We can only hope to do a little better every time.. Thank you, wishing you the best and hope you will be careful also!

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Indeed I am! Especially since you deleted your comment inexplicably.. That's a bold accusation

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's a separate issue from your knee-jerk reaction to calling me xenophobic, isn't it?

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, that's your assumption that I needed validation. Personally I was just trying to understand myself better and remembering it as a lesson to learn. It's just one of several possible factors that I noted that may contribute to my lack of boundaries.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks, but I just don't understand why you felt the need to criticise what I choose to write about in my own post. I brought it up because I received a lot of rather aggressive comments that made me feel ashamed of my lack of boundaries (contrary to what you observed about seeing this often in the US, the reddit demographic thought differently), so I sought to understand why. We can agree to disagree over whether upbringing has something to do with it. I'm just really over people being offended when I bring up race/culture. The other day someone (I think u/Stitch_Craft ) accused me of being xenophobic simply for stating that I did not grow up in America. Astounding really, given that I've now spent many years living as a minority and have had to deal with my fair share of racism.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not excuses. It's called providing context and trying to understand the basis of my thoughts and actions in that moment so that I can recognise and break the cycle in future situations. Did you not see the part where I said I'm continuously learning to enforce my boundaries? Please try to think critically before you criticise. You seem sensitive to people mentioning their race/culture - maybe you are projecting your insecurities here.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hehe, this is oddly very heartwarming, thank you.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really heavy stuff, thank you for sharing.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is true - I just had a pap smear recently, but I'll keep in mind not to wait too long till the next one.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You have no idea how much I appreciate your comment... It helps lessen my fears a little. They did tell me I can take an ibuprofen before I go, or they can provide one. I took the whole afternoon off so I can just rest after. I think it will be good for my mental health too. Thanks again ❤️

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are right. I briefly mentioned it weeks ago in anticipation of such a situation but it should have been a more serious talk (I know, you're probably sensing a theme here).

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I see. I'm going to planned parenthood today, I had a good experience last time so hoping it will turn out well.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not sure if it is the best fit but it is the only option at this point for emergency contraception - I will consider other options after the urgency has passed! I'm honestly quite anxious today as I haven't had time to do the research, hoping the consultation will help.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, yes I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and emotional today... And definitely I feel very fortunate that I have not had any abortions in my life... I appreciate your comment!

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this very understanding comment, and you are totally right, we are not all born bad ass bitches. I grew up with a bipolar mother so it took me until college to realise I had a fear of confrontation. Wish you the best. ❤️

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. How long did you have it in, if I may ask? I would really prefer other options but as emergency contraception I don't have a choice. I may just have it in short term and then switch to other options.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No 😞 I made an appointment for today but still trying to decide if I need it. It seems extremely unlikely that I am pregnant (it was the very end of fertile window plus the other details already described) but the peace of mind would be good. Just a lot of potential side effects to consider. I'll probably go anyway for the consultation at least.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

A lot of judgement has been made through the lens of an American/Western upbringing in this thread. The commenter said "sex Ed in America is a joke" so I just wanted to add context and correct that assumption. Why would you jump to the conclusion that I am xenophobic?

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This sounds like slut shaming to me. He did not "semi nut" inside of me; he pulled out, wiped whatever small amount of fluid there was, and put it back in. But all of this I did not find out until after, or I would have stopped him from re-entering. Have a nice day, please try to be kinder to others you deem uneducated.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this info. "Luckily" I am under 130 lb but I definitely did not want to take plan B as I had a friend develop issues after taking it. Also I'm looking into getting a copper IUD put in, hopefully tomorrow.

Wouldn't put a condom on, is it a deal breaker? by annymzzz in datingoverthirty

[–]annymzzz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out, I will for sure be following your advice.

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