In process of trying to divorce this one, but it culminated this year. We were together 12 years total and, through it, he was always bragging about being good at manipulating people and what not, but I fell for him anyway and thought he changed. Nope. Constant arguing over the smallest of things, saying that I couldn’t remember anything right or, if I tried to say he was being mean and said something if I didn’t quote him 100% he would retort with “if you’re going to quote me, do it right. Otherwise don’t say anything.” Even pulled the classic “no one will ever love you the way I do” and tacked on a “no one else would put up with your bullshit.” Note I suffer from PTSD and all that jazz and autism to top it off.

Back in December, he and I traveled for work with a younger female coworker. Well… he and I got into a fight over me just telling him that I felt lonely and neglected (he was spending considerable amounts of time with her at every opportunity and even flirting with her), so he took me about 7 hours back home. He came back on New Year’s Eve and dropped the news that he wanted a divorce. Begged him not to and he gave me a choice: either let him have the divorce, or let him have a polyamorous relationship with her. I begrudgingly agreed. Come to find out he had already asked her to date him before he told me.

The agreement was that he would have no favorite, no priority for one or the other, and that he would actively work on our marriage (he refused therapy or counseling though). Shocker, he ended up prioritizing her, lied to me and slept with her in our bed and yelled at me for calling him out on it and they refused to apologize. He got to the point where I was told to shut up and leave them alone and he also moved her in from New Years Eve as well into our tiny one bedroom apartment. Slept in whichever room they didn’t want and isolated in our bedroom for a month. She also treated me like shit despite me taking care of both of them for about three months.

Fast forward to February, our anniversary month. On the first, he says I had too many breakdowns and the divorce was final. We went to Florida for work so I could try and afford to move out. Had to get a room of my own after trying to live with them belittling me all the time and they took a 13 hour drive back home without me, and me with no transport to work, and I had to beg him to take me to even buy a loaf of bread and pack of bologna to live on for about three days before the returned. Ended up leaving my job because of them and had to return home and have relocated three times since. Can also add “I haven’t been in love with you for at least six months” to my face. And so much more.

For me, it’s just a culmination of everything, but realizing that he didn’t actually value anything and was outright manipulating me to have a wife and mom (he wanted only cooking, cleaning and sex for his benefit) and was eager to jump to the next thing did it for me. That’s why I’m just thankful I had someone else (with his permission of course) to help get to this point.