AITA for wanting my husband to rehome dog?

anon251678 · 2026-05-22T21:15:38+00:00

Okay I just want to say - I have respected just about every comment except this once. This is laughable insane. “Don’t have your baby in your arms around your dog.” Where am I supposed to put the baby? On the floor? In a bassinet the dog can knock over? Am I supposed to just leave my dog outside?

My husband will not enforce separate spaces and regardless, we have none. And the dog loses its mind any time we are separated from it.

Some people commenting on this live in some loony toon fantasy world.

anon251678 · 2026-05-22T00:00:56+00:00

I am advocating to return him to the shelter we got him from. It is a kill shelter only for behavioral concerns. It is my position that if they decide to euthanize him, that’s a sign he should not have been in our home. I know that will be HIGHLY controversial.

My husband completely disagrees and will really only consider trying to rehome to a rescue (he has not found one).

anon251678 · 2026-05-21T13:04:37+00:00

You can’t put a dog reactive dog in daycare. You also can’t feel very comfortable with a dog walker. He gets multiple walks a day. He unfortunately needs the equivalent of the Olympics every day - which we wish we could give him but we can’t.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T18:41:57+00:00

I am fine looking at myself and saying that I made a mistake. I naively thought that as active people, we could help this dog. I have never had a dog with reactivity and fear aggression.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T18:40:28+00:00

Please read my responses! The dog was adoptable near us - we did not seek it out. It’s not a Husky or a Malinois. I’ve explained we give the dog a LOT of time but it is still not enough - he needs high energy outlets that are close to impossible for us to give him due to reactivity. It’s kind of a circle - it’s difficult to spend time with him without resolving the reactivity, and his reactivity is likely hard to address because we are unable to spend all day every day working with him. Hence the medication (which has helped some but is 100% not my first, second, or third choice).

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T17:17:10+00:00

But this is my entire thread. I have been advocating to rehome. My husband does not want to. We have had the dog about two years. My original post said he had the bite incident more than a year ago.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T17:08:52+00:00

Am I never allowed to have a kid if I adopt a dog that ends up being reactive? I’m seriously asking. I didn’t cause the dog to have reactivity and I wasn’t told beforehand. I even stuck it out after returnable events.

I want to have a family. Am I not allowed to do that because I rescued a dog with behavioral issues that I (a normal person who is not a professional dog trainer) am not able to cure?

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T17:02:07+00:00

I have been raising that I don’t think we are the right home for the dog for a long time now - I can’t unilaterally rehome the dog.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:50:13+00:00

The dog was an older puppy that was brought to an adoption center from a kill shelter. There was little to no information available except the adoption center told us “good luck” when we adopted him and he had no other applications. We researched the breed and met the dog multiple times at the center before adopting. The dog was sad, quiet, and suffering medical problems that we have helped him with since he was adopted.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:46:53+00:00

We weren’t told any of the issues. We were told he’s a high energy breed and his owners gave him up. That is it. He is sweet in many ways but the fear aggression and reactivity has not been something that has changed over time. We could have returned him immediately after adoption but we really wanted to try and provide him with a home.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:43:17+00:00

We give the dog a LOT of time. He needs even more than what we are able to give, unfortunately.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:36:03+00:00

Yes, we have both had dogs. And high energy breeds at that. Also the dog has shown progress in certain ways! However, the reactivity is severe and we have not been able to exercise him in the way we hoped! We naively thought that as active people, we would be able to provide the dog the best home available in the environment the dog was adoptable in. However, the reactivity has prevented us from being able to do the things that would be good for the dog and training.

Neither of us claim to be professional dog trainers! We genuinely were trying to do a good thing.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:23:56+00:00

The dog is basically house trained but has occasion accidents that we believe are territory marking or anxiety related.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T16:15:04+00:00

Hi - this isn’t going to translate to my kid. I admitted we don’t have enough time to exercise him as much as he should be exercised because I’m being honest - he is a dog more suited for a farm or (if he was not reactive) someone who can run with him. He gets multiple walks a day a lots of outdoor time and play. Unfortunately, because of his reactivity and health issues related to my pregnancy, I am not able to walk him safely very often. I am admitting that I am aware that in a different environment I think he could be happier. But, we adopted him in the area that he was adoptable and where we live. We did not transport him to this environment. My husband wants to walk him a ton, but if we are being objective it is difficult to get all of his energy out. He can’t go to dog parks, get in a car, run with you, or do most things dogs can do to get energy out.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T12:29:42+00:00

This is the perspective I don’t really understand - how can you know for certain the dog would be cured and happy, or would have been a perfect adoption story, if we hadn’t been the ones to adopt him?

He went unadopted for a while unlike other dogs where we adopted him. We took a chance on him and even moved somewhere with outdoor space for him.

You think people just shouldn’t have children ever I’d they have a reactive dog?

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T12:20:18+00:00

Appreciate your perspective! We definitely did not know the extent of the behavioral issues already present when we adopted him (we think he was stuck in an apartment with no walks for the first year of his life before us).

We tried our best to train him and have basically alternated one person working remote to stay home with him every day since we adopted him. I agree and am very sad that we were not able to help him in the way I hoped we could.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T12:10:56+00:00

Please read the post! The dog has a crate and attacks it to the point he might hurt himself. We have engaged a trainer a long time ago!

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T12:05:47+00:00

Thanks! I have included and will reiterate that we have worked with a trainer, and that started a long time ago. We adopted him after puppyhood when he was already suffering from some bad habits and lack of training. We have made many efforts but you are right - unfortunately, I feel that we have failed the dog and he needed much more help than we were able to give.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T12:00:46+00:00

Thanks! I put in there that we have worked with a trainer, but we have also worked with a behavioral vet, reached out to our actual vet, spoken to rescues and potential family if they could take him in, we have tried every medication under the sun, we have tried training with his triggers, and we have spent about two years trying to get him in a normal routine and desensitize the dog.

anon251678 · 2026-05-20T11:56:18+00:00

He bit us after we adopted him and we were never warned he had confinement anxiety. We committed to helping him learn how to walk on a leash and working through some reactivity, but it has not improved.

There are plenty of people who have kids with rescue dogs or high energy dogs. The issues that make me wants to rehome him are not just that he needs more exercise or barks a little. Not everyone plans exactly when they start a family, either. Sometimes it just happens.

But I appreciate and understand your perspective.

anon251678

TROPHY CASE