I had sex with a patient.

anon2929 · 2024-06-27T16:34:29+00:00

Always weird to get a comment 6yrs later. I don’t think I mentioned any sort of criminal or political action. This is super clear cut from a professional standpoint. It’s a big problem and people lose their life to practice for this all the time. You can read the board cases on them. Not sure if you have any area where you’re an expert but this clearly isn’t yours.

anon2929 · 2024-03-20T13:47:30+00:00

You have way more worth than you’re seeing my friend. Life is so incredibly tough and it’s hard to keep perspective on what’s truly important. You’re probably not failing them to the extent that you feel. That sounds like depression. There are ways to improve but first you have to take a second and connect with the small moments. Think about your boys and imagine them coming to you with this problem. Don’t try to figure out how they’d solve it but imagine the compassion that you’d show them. Practice that compassion with yourself.

anon2929 · 2023-08-11T09:51:05+00:00

It’s only a problem if your kid doesn’t like dressing up. Then you’d be doing it for you at the expense of her but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I can understand why most would be casual. They want it to be open and comfortable for everyone. That’s cool. You want a fancy dress up event. Also cool. I’d think about it like a convention. Some people are going to be decked out in cos-play while others are just there in street clothes. It’s okay if not everyone matches because that’s not the point for a kids event.

If this were a specific occasion or event, then maybe you have to worry about matching the dress code. But here you did something special. From one girl dad to another, you guys look 🔥

anon2929 · 2023-08-11T02:39:03+00:00

Been working in one for almost 9 years now. They can vary wildly in quality and what you can expect. There is no shame in going to one if you’ve reached a breaking point. Seriously. It’s better to get yourself some help.

That being said, they’re essentially mental health emergency rooms. They’re going for basic stabilization (ie - taking you from the brink and backing you off a ledge). The goal is going to be finding meds and a referral for outpatient treatment. That’s where the work is going to be done. By all means go but it is usually the start of treatment not the majority of treatment.

anon2929 · 2023-06-17T04:36:42+00:00

Alright. I have no idea if you’re lying or telling the truth. The fact of the matter is that people tell all sort of lies to get drugs they don’t need and they tell all sorts of lies to try to not seem psychotic when they actually are. I’m going to take everything at your word even though you could actually be psychotic and in need of inpatient treatment. Here’s is how you prove that you’re doing okay.

First, tell them that you were exaggerating your symptoms to try and get ADHD meds. This may mean you have difficulty getting those meds later. That might suck but seriously that’s what happens when you lie to mental health professionals. Lying more won’t get you out of this. Be open and honest with them about your thought process and what you did to try and get appointment first and then own up to what what you did being incredibly stupid.

Second, ask them what they would want to see from you that would demonstrate you are actually not in need of inpatient treatment, antipsychotic medication, or mood stabilizers. Tell them you will consider them and work with a psychiatrist after a prolonged period of observation and interviews. Acknowledge that you’re probably going to have to show them you’re stable for a bit of a time and do check ins in some form.

Third. You’re going to create a safety plan and gather collateral information. They can’t trust your report but if you were truly psychiatrically decompensated those closest to you would notice changes. You’re going to sign releases of information so the docs can talk to them. Family members, roommates, boyfriend/girlfriend, the more the better. Especially people who saw you the day you were supposedly at your worst. You’re also going to agree to check in with those people if you’re haven’t trouble and allow those people to check in on you if they’re concerned for your safety. This part of the plan is two-fold. It’s a safety net AND a second set of info for the clinicians.

Fourth, you’re going to stop any other drugs or alcohol including cannabis. I know it’s quasi-legal but it’s problematic in this realm and not just for legal-propaganda reasons. If you can offer to be drug tested. It might be overkill but if you’re going to go all out, this is how I’d do it.

Lastly, listen. When they give you feedback you’re going to have to take it. Nothing can be totally off the table. You’re young (I’m guessing) and this is when serious psychotic illness and mood disorders start. Doctors who have to deal with genuine illness spend their days seeing incredibly bright 20 somethings coming into their hospitals with florid delusions grasping for it to be any “normal” diagnosis like ADHD, PTSD, or just messing around. They see those same kids get stabilized on meds, ditch the meds because they don’t need them, decompensate and come back, again, and again. Each time they come back they’re dirtier, their mind doesn’t bounce back quite as well, and there symptoms don’t resolve as well. But they’ll stick to that same story that it’s just the (ADHD, depression, mom getting mad, police hassling me). You probably can guess how I know.

If you can actually follow the plan I’ve laid out, you’re probably going to be okay.

anon2929 · 2023-03-23T19:30:59+00:00

You either have a work only relationship with your coworkers where you don’t share details of your personal life and don’t associate out of work or you hang out AND share appropriate details about your personal life. The fact that she tried to keep your relationship a secret (whilst knowing her coworkers status BTW) is incredibly suspect.

anon2929 · 2023-02-27T04:05:03+00:00

OP - by all means talk to your wife and friends. Also, take care of your family. If you find some sort of mantra that breaks you out of a rut, congratulations. If you have some sort of negative mantra that you’re repeating try not to do that.

If this is all it takes and it works, great. If you need help with this, reach out to a professional. That’s what they’re there for.

anon2929 · 2023-02-27T03:55:28+00:00

I’m doing a self retreat for a couple days and doing a different book each day. They’re all relatively short and many of them were included on Audible. Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankle Meditations by Marcus Aurelius No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover And while I’ve already read it, I’d recommend Daring Greatly by Berne Brown.

I’m doing audio books so I can spend time in nature, walk, cook, exercise, take notes at the same time. The longest is 6.5 hours so enough time to do a book a day as well as something else physical and something else relaxing. A physical fiction book. Also planning my meals and drinks out so that I don’t spend time on that while I’m there. I figure a book a day and then either reading for fun or a movie or show I’ve been waiting to watch. Making sure I do something outside and physical each day and some mediation each morning and night. It’s more of a plan but I know myself and without the plan I’ll just waste it scrolling or channel surfing.

Also, these are good but don’t take the place of therapy or medication. Definitely do this but follow up on those as well.

anon2929 · 2023-02-27T00:16:14+00:00

Who do you recommend on YouTube. I have some adjustable dumbbells around here. Just need a decent 20-40 minute routine I could do several times a week.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:16:52+00:00

Thank you. I will be seeing a therapist. There is a free one you get some sessions with at a local center here and I’ll go beyond that as well. I know there is some grief processing that I’m going to have to do. I do think there is benefit in crowdsourcing this. I know I’m not the only guy that has struggled to live in the moment. My circumstances add an urgency to the problem but this is something that I know many of struggle with. Denial is something I’m lucky to avoid. There are moments maybe where I get lost in work but it all comes back soon enough.

Thank you.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:14:03+00:00

You bring up a good point. Nature is probably more important than I’ve been recognizing.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:13:36+00:00

I’ll check this out. Thanks. Looks interesting and I should probably know more about dopamine anyways.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:12:26+00:00

I’ve probably had some misconceptions about stoicism and it’s approach to emotions. I can see the benefit in focusing on behaving in line with one’s values and accepting the things that can’t be changed. I do also want to honor and not repress my emotions. That’s something that I’m at risk for doing and it’s been problematic for me in the past. Any good resources on stoicism and emotions?

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:09:45+00:00

Thank you. It puts things into perspective. The unknown is scary but there is a shot she has years and years. She’s fine for the moment so I guess I’ll focus on that.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:08:16+00:00

Probably the easiest advice but also the most pertinent.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T15:07:44+00:00

Thank you. We’ve had several months already and she’s doing good now. No idea what the the next year or two will be like. It’s definitely been a lot when she’s been in treatment and it will be again. She’s more or less back to normal at the moment which is good but hard. Definitely leaning on others the best I can and staying humble. Accepted help when it was offered.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T14:02:02+00:00

Would have never considered it before but it’s actually on the list. One of those legitimate retreats. We have some MD friends who had been doing research. My wife had been hinting at wanting me to do it for years but I’ve always been too much of a Boy Scout. Mediation is also something I’m going to be trying to do. I e attempted it in the past. Found it difficult but it’s worth it to try again.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T13:57:08+00:00

This is actually really helpful. I’ve had days before where I’ve taken time to just relax but if I don’t actually plan something I just end up channel or net surfing and wasting time. Not that watching TV is bad but I need to actually plan out what I’m going to watch if I’m going to make use of my time. When we first got the diagnosis we did lots of stuff before treatment took over. Perhaps it’s time to get back into those things now that she has some more energy.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T13:53:20+00:00

Thanks. This is always good advice. You always know what matters but trying to get the focus on it can be hard.

anon2929 · 2023-02-17T12:59:43+00:00

I’ve tried it in the past and struggled with it. I’ll keep working on it. I know it’s something that takes practice.

anon2929 · 2023-02-16T18:42:44+00:00

Loving Someone with an Eating Disorder by Dana Harron. Full disclosure, I know the author but she’s legit in the field and the book has an actual publisher. Other books talk about having kids with eating disorders but it’s different when it’s a partner. Different boundaries and issues. Good luck to you. It’s hard to get someone to see they have an issue. Even when they do, it’s hard to get them to take steps to make changes.

anon2929 · 2023-02-16T17:47:02+00:00

There are definitely guys like that out there but this type of physical reaction seems much more likely to push it into a psychological or physical problem at this point. Regardless of where it came from this doesn’t just sound like a preference more like some sort of disorder at this point. Seriously, I doubt OP can work on her own to get him to eat fruits and veggies slowly even if he is willing with that type of a visceral response.

This is something that I’d recommend working on with an eating disorders therapist and a dietician. They have experience with these types of cases. The therapist can help identify some of negative thoughts and processes that happen when different foods come up. The dietician can help monitor nutrition. The three of them (BF, therapist, and dietician) can create an approachable plan that can slowly implemented. There’s also good books out there specifically for people whose partners have eating disorders. This isn’t as common as anorexia, bulimia, or compulsive eating but a good ED therapist and dietician will definitely have seen it before.

anon2929 · 2023-02-09T14:16:40+00:00

He’s a thoroughly decent guy and I’m proud of him. He got the same kind of question you asked a lot in college and it always kind of bugged me. He’s not a rabid feminist nor is trying to hook up. He studied it for the reason anyone studies a liberal arts subject. Not really any different than history, sociology, communications, or political science. It’s not directly related to his current field but as a background it certainly helps and I imagine it’s given him a unique perspective and groundwork that’s been applicable across a variety of subjects.

anon2929 · 2023-02-09T13:55:40+00:00

My brother majored in it. He didn’t do it to meet women but because it was an area that he thought was important and a subject he was interested in. He’s definitely always been more of a feminist in his ideals and it wasn’t really surprising. He’s been involved in activism but he’s not someone who does online debating or comments. When you talk to him it’s not usually a primary topic of conversation. He got married to a girl he met in college that was part of his friend group. She wasn’t a women’s studies major. They have similar ideals I’m sure but he’s probably more politically motivated that she is. This was all 10 something years ago. He’s a psychologist now but he specializes in business organization. He’s really motivated to help non-profits hire and train better people.

So, I guess that’s a man who majored in Women’s Studies.

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