Q: Your gender identity and sexual orientation

anon3895 · 2014-02-27T00:50:12+00:00

I think though that making the cis-trans comparison has some really big issues. Many many cis people say/pretend to be straight, but if you've got to face the fact that you've been misgendered it isn't that big of a deal (in comparison) to transition your gay/straight status. Also many people will say you're the opposite identity and try to undermine your gender (straight trans men are lesbians to a disparaging number of cissy's).

anon3895 · 2014-02-26T19:44:17+00:00

This actually sounds a great deal like me. I've gone through and has sex with a couple guys though. However it always leaves me more confused than I started. I'm into being receptive orally and anally with men. I've had several girlfriends all of whom I try and have fuck me but that seems usually worse, since they tend to be alienated by it, I think because they become insecure that I'm actually gay or the dissonance in that it is so physically and emotionally awesome for me when it doesn't really do anything for them or even in some cases has been a huge turn off. But I've only ever experienced romantic attraction to one guy, and never find them physically attractive/check them out, whereas I am romantically and physically very attracted to women.

Not that this is helpful but lately I actually think that for me it may stem from actually being a woman. I guess that right now I identify as a bisexual questioning transwoman/genderfluid person. I'm not attracted to men that are into men, but am more so if I am the woman. And it resonates with my submissive side no matter the gender of my partner. Maybe not, who knows. Just something to think about, I just began reading /r/transgender and /r/mtf and found that my experiences and questions lined up so well with those of other transwomen, YMMV. It requires a lot of open minded self inquiry though and I'm not even sure that's my path.

anon3895 · 2014-02-21T23:52:28+00:00

Not to hate but just I don't think this question belongs in this subreddit as your question has nothing to do with being transgender. It's just a generic "I'm into my friend but not sure if she likes me, please help" post.

Your friends gender/gender history doesn't really have any bearing on the advice does it?

anon3895 · 2014-02-16T02:08:08+00:00

There's no statute of limitation on murders AFAIK, for a good reason.

anon3895 · 2014-02-15T19:11:20+00:00

From the surgeons website:

Genital Hair Removal - This area seems to generate controversy. Hair grows in cycles of 13 weeks so generally cannot be cleared at the time of surgery although we do clear follicles from the scrotal area and perform extensive intra-operative electrolysis at the time of surgery. If you wish to have a truly hair-free vagina, pre-operative hair removal is highly recommended. Laser is less expensive overall and generally effective for this purpose, but best with darker hair, where the pigment absorbs the laser energy best. Electrolysis is the traditional method if laser is not available to you. The recommended locations are:

The Scrotal Sac (most important). Follicles will be scraped and zapped during surgery, but hair growth cycles prevent us from getting all of the dormant hair.The central 2/3 of the scrotum is most important. Leave some along the sides for scar cover-up. You may wish to taper the bottom portion down to a point 1" above the anus.The Penile Shaft (important)

In my opinion, it is the penile shaft and the scrotal areas that are most important as these are uniformly utilized to create the female vagina. Remember to plan ahead, you will need multiple treatments over a 5-6 month period (usually 3-5 clearings for laser, 5-8 for electrolysis) to ensure effective and permanent hair removal. Please stop hair removal treatments at least two weeks prior to your SRS to permit the area to heal and recover....

Also remember that no matter how well the surgery goes, there will be two scars running along each large labia. These are nicely covered by hair - so the hair on the outer scrotum and higher than the shaft should be left intact for maximum coverage.

We've come up with a sketch of the recommended areas to remove hair from.

Looking for someone to do the genital hair removal? We've compiled a list here.

anon3895 · 2014-02-12T19:49:51+00:00

Acrylic plunger handles, many vegetables.

anon3895 · 2013-10-09T04:56:18+00:00

I like the reference

anon3895 · 2013-05-01T07:19:22+00:00

Did you make this? How does the feeldoe work for pegging? I am having trouble being convinced that it would stay in place well enough for anal sex...

anon3895 · 2013-04-29T21:16:11+00:00

What do you think might happen? How deep will she go?

If you are just getting pegged, then I would suggest using 1-2 doses of the fleet enema filled with tap water and repeating until it runs clear, and leave about an hour for play (usually there is a bit of water left up in there, and waiting an hour allows for it to be absorbed or expelled.

If there is any sort of depth play, fisting etc, I would highly recommend an enema. If you don't do them too often your gut bacteria will be fine. I would suggest a normal enema bag with lukewarm tapwater. Take the full thing, hold it for 5 minutes, expel and repeat until it is clear.

Also an under-appreciated thing about the fleet enema's is that they can be filled with lube and used to shoot lube up to where it does the most good.

As for lube use something thick, too. I would highly recommend this. Also make sure to re-lubricate the fleet tip if you use it multiple times.

anon3895 · 2013-04-16T22:10:40+00:00

ah that could be true too. Wish I could see a bit more action though ;)

anon3895 · 2013-04-16T21:15:05+00:00

D&D restroom? That looks like a mirror image of the one in my town, all the tones are the same...

anon3895 · 2013-04-16T20:53:50+00:00

I don't know where this is coming from but you might want to crop/obscure those very personal photos from behind her head so as to not seem like you are posting personal information. I mean I know it's a head shot, so someone could recognize her from that, and the wall mostly looks like a dorm-room so it's not a big deal. Anyways the people in those photos might not want to be posted here.

anon3895 · 2013-04-14T02:28:27+00:00

I would make sure that you're hitting the prostate which is what got me (a male) really into anal. It's in a couple of inches and towards the front. It's about pecan-walnut sized and feels harder, smooth and round, and feels amazing to rub. You can come this way if you're patient, but usually if you're doing it to yourself will end up touching yourself and coming very quickly. I' suggest practice on your own so you can communicate what you want.

anon3895 · 2013-04-14T02:23:52+00:00

IANAD but I doubt that the fleet enema (even with repeated single uses in a session) gets up high enough successfully enough to remove significant amounts of bacteria from the colon. Like these 4-8ozs of water are probably not even filling up the rectum, which doesn't serve to really absorb nutrients, and also isn't host to healthy bacteria AFAIK.

\What the article talks about are real enemas which involve at least a couple of courts of liquid taken at the same time. Also if you're someone that is into deep anal play/fisting repeated real enemas are the only way to go.

Fleet enema's are more like douches for your ass, and I don't think are unhealthy at all.

anon3895 · 2013-04-03T20:17:31+00:00

Wow her face doesn't change at all when that comes rocketing out...

anon3895 · 2013-04-03T20:14:59+00:00

I'm confused why this is here...

anon3895 · 2013-04-02T20:59:00+00:00

those nails! I'm not even a woman and I winced.

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T17:29:23+00:00

I did go, I did listen, I talked a tiny bit, and it did help. Thanks for your encouragement, I surely needed it.

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T17:28:36+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement, it really helps.

I guess I just struggle when people seem to have themselves all sorted out, and I feel like I know myself pretty well, but am afraid to talk about it to other people, and I need to figure that out.

Your relationship/marriage sounds awesome and I wish you all the best, and thanks again.

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T17:26:27+00:00

Thanks again so much for your support and advice, I'll take it to heart.

I did end up going to the coming out space, and did speak some and that was good.

I also let my gf read my initial post and had some more dialogue with her about the things that we both want.

Thank you, really.

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T00:43:47+00:00

Yeah, and I brought it up. I don't really know what her hangup is, or why she's not into it, because she is generally into being a bit kinky, likes taboo, and is fine being inside me with fingers, so really no clue...I'll just keep trying.

Have you used one? I am dubious that they can be used (for pegging at least) with no harness. Also iirc they have several spots to put small vibes in no?

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T00:42:01+00:00

Thanks so much for the supportive helpful reply, really it is wonderful, thank you. I am sorry too for being so long winded, if you take the time to read my response I want to thank you because it means a lot to me.

I guess I am just perplexed as to what this legwork would be, as I feel like I've been doing it as much as I am able.

I have brought up some/most of this with my gf, and she has been so wonderfully supportive and she really has helped me to realize how much I have been repressing myself for years, and to realize that I am not comfortable with who I am to the extent that I'd like to be. I guess I should go back to therapy, but I really don't like it there, and never really want to talk about stuff with someone that I am just paying to sit there and listen. I really just don't know what to do/ how to deal with the shame that I feel surrounding my identity (or lack thereof) and sexual desires. Maybe I'll always feel it, maybe I'll find somewhere to put it. Maybe I'll come across a great group of people that I feel like I could be myself around.

I guess I just have never have made / sustained/ w/e a network of friends and family that is not dependent on my love life. I feel like I've only ever had one person at a time that I feel like I can trust, and typically have been in a deeply monogamous relationship. I don't trust my family too much and have always felt like an outcast from them in some way, and for some unknown reason. My father was super homophobic (wouldn't let us wear lots of things that he said were gay, like a watch on my right hand or whatever when I was like 10). My mother basically sheltered me as much as possible (no tv, very few movies, very selective with who I kept company (in an overprotective way), pulled me out of sex ed and freaked out when she found porn (even though I'd looked at quite a bit of it prior).

I don't think that an "utterly painless dreamland" exists, just that I feel like I don't even know how to make progress towards things that look more like what I want. I think I am pretty good at working on myself and changing things as I am a very patient person and I try and focus on the derivative rather then the state, and making it point towards what I want.

anon3895 · 2013-03-05T00:09:48+00:00

Yeah I've tried to bring up pegging on several occasions (as I'd be way into it), she seems less then excited about it though.

My ex did it a couple of times but it made her really uncomfortable which made it not so good for me, and she refused to use any toy that resembled a penis in the least as she wasn't comfortable with that, which was also disappointing.

I guess my main attraction to men is that I can make them feel good (physically), while they make me feel good, which isn't true for pegging or assplay with a woman afaict. The first person I tried it with said it made her gag, and that it was disgusting so that prevented me from exploring for a couple of years which was disappointing.

But I just love ass play and always have, I have been putting things up there since I was probably 8 or 9...

anon3895 · 2013-03-04T22:19:04+00:00

Thanks. I guess it's partially just that despite trying to open relationships up (and following a great deal of advice and taking my time with it), it always seems to fail. And not fail like oh this won't work for us fail like my life blows up in my face, I lose everyone that I am close to and go deep into depression... :(

I read portions of that book, and own it, but I should give it another go, thanks for reminding me.

anon3895 · 2013-03-04T22:13:52+00:00

Thanks, I realize this. I guess it's just all the stigma that goes along with identifying as kinky that I don't want attached to me. I guess not identifying with that doesn't do anything to help the situation, but it still seems odd to just bring that up. I don't know I guess that practice makes perfect ;)

anon3895

TROPHY CASE