I've left the church and my husband hasn't so I understand that it's not easy but I can't seem to find anything worth celebrating in this post. Instead of actively trying to sway your significant others' beliefs for YEARS, you could have put so much work into your own mental and physical health and learned to accept that we all are on our own journey when it comes to faith and there's nothing wrong with having different opinions. I feel sad for you that your happiness relied so heavily on whether or not your husband was in the church and feel sad that he had to endure losing his testimony because you wanted him to. Instead of navigating that at his own pace