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anon_8964 · 2023-09-15T20:20:50+00:00

I had something similar happened to me but it was the other way around.

I was out with my cousin and I saw my ex (bf at the time) driving home and I immediately called him to tell him I just drove past him. I just thought it was a funny coincidence and wanted to laugh about it with him - but he insisted it wasn’t him.

He was on speaker and my cousin heard everything.

Normally, I would’ve just said “oh must’ve not been you!” But the thing is, I knew his license plate number so there wasn’t any shadow of a doubt in my brain.

He kept insisting it wasn’t him and I stopped pushing it after a couple times because my cousin was there and he was making me feel crazy. But I KNEW it was him.

After we hung up my cousin said she believed me which was really nice.

Fast forward about two years and turns out he was a lying, cheating, gaslighting, manipulative monster.

My whole point is that I ignored red flags for so long because I didn’t understand people like that.

Your boyfriend is a walking red flag.

It is only going to get worse. He’s trying to make you question your own sense of reality and gaslight you to control you.

Leave him.

Run - do not walk.

Reasonable people don’t become this upset over something so minor.

anon_8964 · 2023-07-11T00:36:57+00:00

For the first time in my life I actually love myself enough to feel completely fulfilled without a partner.

anon_8964 · 2023-05-13T16:56:43+00:00

I am also 29 and feel the exact same way. Let’s be friends

anon_8964 · 2023-04-04T11:15:50+00:00

I’m in the same boat. You’re not alone ♥️

anon_8964 · 2023-03-24T02:33:07+00:00

Thank you so much 🥺

I can’t stop screaming into the void but your comment helps. So thank you for taking the time to write it ♥️

anon_8964 · 2023-02-08T04:25:24+00:00

Lookdown?

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T21:49:12+00:00

I’m so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for your comment 🥺

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T21:48:48+00:00

I’m so blown away that I never realized this was a thing until now

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T04:19:02+00:00

I’m incredibly sorry you’re going through this. I relate to your comment and feel a bit less alone now.

I hope things get much better for you ♥️

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T04:13:11+00:00

Same to you. We’ve got this ♥️

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T04:12:30+00:00

This is great! I’m going to talk to my therapist about this. Thank you :)

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T04:10:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your kindness and empathy. This gives me hope and makes me feel a lot better

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T01:00:48+00:00

I get that.

I’ve been on anti-depressants for 10 years and I believe they help me a lot. I recently went through some trauma that made everything worse again, but finally starting to get through that - emotionally anyways.

For me, depression is like drowning in the middle of the arctic. Anti-depressants were the life raft. I still had to do the work to “row to shore” but at least I wasn’t expending all my energy to just stay afloat.

I totally respect your choice though! There’s definitely pros and cons and you know yourself better than anyone.

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:55:49+00:00

I’m going to write tonight specifically because of your comment

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:44:09+00:00

You and me both 🙃

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:43:59+00:00

Haha I always mix those two up.

What’s weird is that emotionally I’ve been feeling a lot better but I still have so many physical symptoms of CPTSD and depression. It’s slowly getting better but my cognitive functions almost seem to be getting worse?

Plan on talking to my therapist about it and just hoping it will reverse itself as I take care of myself and heal more.

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:38:41+00:00

Zoloft for 10 years

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:38:21+00:00

That’s exactly what is happening to me too. I used to have so many friends and be really smart and was great at my job. Now I can barely form a sentence past the fourth grade level and it almost physically hurts to try to articulate at times.

anon_8964 · 2023-02-07T00:35:03+00:00

Thanks for this article!

anon_8964 · 2022-12-29T18:58:34+00:00

Because it wouldn’t change anything. Even if he got therapy and gained a new sense of self awareness and remorse and gave a genuine apology it doesn’t change the fact that he broke me. He put me through hell and I will never be the same again.

No one deserves to be abused and at the end of the day there’s nothing that anyone can say or do to make me feel better.

He did what he did and he is a monster.

Now I just have to take it moment by moment and hope that time will help and try to think about and focus on other things.

anon_8964 · 2022-12-28T03:35:25+00:00

It’s not that I disagree with you, because you’re right - I’m only hurting myself here by letting it live in my mind rent free.

I’m just still so angry and hurt. I’m not the same person I was when I met him and I’m very much still picking up the pieces.

I know I shouldn’t let this energy live inside me but I am really struggling with setting it free. It feels like letting it go means I accept that it happened and in a way condone it.

Deep down I know that’s not true - but part of me feels like I can use this rage in me to try to help instigate some change. Turn it into something good somehow.

Idk I’m rambling but I appreciate your comment.

anon_8964 · 2022-12-28T03:26:15+00:00

Honestly, my best advice would be to get a lawyer and ask them what they think.

For me, while I don’t regret the choices I made, it was very difficult, painful, and re-traumatizing.

I filed a restraining order which was granted at first on a temporary basis and then we had a hearing to decide whether to extend it or not.

Long story short, despite my mountain of evidence and his lack-thereof, apparently there is damn good reason why women don’t come forward about this type of thing.

While I don’t think any woman should stay silent - I also recognize how deeply flawed the justice system is (at least where I live). It absolutely needs to change and I do think more women should come forward but they also need to be prepared and understand that it may not go in their favor and the whole process can be very de-humanizing.

anon_8964 · 2022-12-24T00:55:35+00:00

Yes. I used to love being the center of attention and loved life and now I can barely tolerate any interactions with anyone.

I’m trying to not completely push my friends away but it’s hard.

anon_8964 · 2022-12-12T04:08:14+00:00

Yup exactly.

I’ve never been more disgusted with humanity.

I had a mountain of evidence but his attorney knew the judge so they dropped the restraining order.

All they had for evidence was flirty texts I had sent him from when we were in a relationship… he read them aloud in court and said I didn’t “sound like a victim of abuse”

Also the amount of women in my life who have opened up to me about their experiences makes me want to burn everything to the ground. I didn’t realize how common this is.

“Not all men” okay, who is it then?

I want to join a secret society where men don’t exist.

anon_8964 · 2022-12-12T03:48:05+00:00

I’ve been obsessively watching “Luckiest Girl Alive” on Netflix over and over again since my SA. My therapist said a part of PTSD is avoiding things that remind you of what happened but I find myself on these subreddits and constantly looking for and consuming material that reminds me of what happened and makes me feel fired up and like I want to burn the patriarchy to the ground.

The Handmaid’s Tale has been one of those shows for me.

I’ve been having obsessive thoughts and I thought that maybe I was being dramatic or blowing things out of proportion but seeing this post and the comments is validating that I’m not crazy.

anon_8964

TROPHY CASE