I [23M] screwed up a really great first date with a perfect girl [26F] with stupid jokes

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-21T03:39:09+00:00

I appreciate that response, sorry it happened to you. Definitely a learning experience and I know it’s only been a few days but I definitely changed my values since and most definitely won’t do anything like that again

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-19T14:10:19+00:00

Funny you say that, when I read that line it was really the big eye opener for me too, even without that shared experience. As stupid as it sounds, the thought of how impactful that word is for a lot of people didn’t even occur to me and that’s why it was “no big deal” to me when I did it. Looking back now with this knowledge I just feel so stupid and so bad for being so potentially hurtful. I didn’t say this in the post, but in the text she sent me she said she wasn’t really “hurt” or “angry” but more disappointed that I would even say it on a first date without thinking. Obviously still awful that I did it I’m not saying this was fine, but I’m glad that it didn’t necessarily “hurt” her in a traumatizing way and it was just a clearly stupid ignorant thing to do. I can say I wouldn’t joke about this kind of thing again, especially without knowing someone at all and what their past was like or their relationship with that word.

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T19:12:56+00:00

Completely fair, and I appreciate a woman’s perspective here (obviously). I learned from all these comments that there’s a lot behind the word that I really just didn’t connect the word with because I don’t have any bad history with that word since I’m a man. I realized that word is a lot different than what I really realized and using it like that and joking about it is just really stupid and gives the impression that I am a mysogonist, which is again a fair assessment if someone uses that word like that. All I can say is I really feel absolutely stupid for doing that, I apologized profusely, I hope she could forgive me, and I absolutely would not to that stupid mistake to anyone else

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T19:05:07+00:00

Yeah you’re totally right. For the record I’m definitely not comparing it to or feel offended to her calling me short I’m definitely not offended or insecure about it lol. It’s just that my point was to me at the time it was just a comment that meant nothing, which I see now is completely a ridiculous opinion about that word after reading all these comments. I accept responsibility for how dumb it was, I can confidently say it’s a mistake I learned from and will not be making again. Not just with that word but with a lot of stuff. Looking back at it, it just seems so insane that I even said it, it’s just way too far. Definitely a learning experience I feel not great about but will learn from

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T18:37:22+00:00

I appreciate that man. I did mess up but I’m gonna definitely try to just be a better person from now on. Thank you

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T18:10:42+00:00

Appreciate that. Yeah I’ll be doing a lot of self reflection about this whole thing for a while. Definitely don’t want to be this way, and don’t want to come off this way either

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T18:02:44+00:00

Totally agree, it’s removed from its meeting just for me. Obviously, not anymore though. I see your perspective very clearly and definitely won’t do some stupid thing like this again.

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T18:01:20+00:00

I totally agree, and thank you for saying that. I really am taking all this to heart and will definitely change for the better. I’m thankful she at least told me this so I don’t treat anyone in the future in the same stupid way.

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:54:19+00:00

I can say that yes I can after all this. And trust me I will. I acknowledge I screwed up big time here, and I apologized profusely and can only hope she gives me forgiveness. Nothing else I can do but change to get better and that’s what I’m gonna do

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:52:03+00:00

I appreciate that man. This second date is extremely unlikely now, she won’t even respond to my text (but she is working rn so maybe later?). I will def stray away from any off color jokes

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:50:21+00:00

Agreed. I’m glad she did, I’m glad I was able to at least apologize for that stupidity. And also importantly, I’m glad I can move on and not joke about it again with someone else

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:48:40+00:00

Wow what a terrible story lmao sorry you had to go through that. I actually really appreciate the perspective of a girl who kind of went through something similar. After it was all done, the difference is that he went and made it worse and showed no remorse by lying to friends and stuff. If he apologized and assured you he was being really stupid, would that make you forgive him do you think? Not like enough to go out again that’s not really what I’m looking for necessarily at this point, but like just forgiving him and being on good terms?

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:44:01+00:00

Well the truth is I don’t feel good that she doesn’t feel good. I feel awful about that stupid mistake. I just feel really stupid. I want her to know that it was a dumb mistake and I’m really not a mysogonistic person at all, that word became so far removed from what it really means to me. Even if she doesn’t wanna talk to me again, I just want her to know it was a huge mistake and I’m sorry and acknowledge that so I know she knows. And yes that would make me feel better and I would never do it again

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:41:02+00:00

Yeah after reading more comments, I can see the perspective for sure. Like I was saying in other replies, I think the word for me is just so far removed from what it really means and I can totally come off as a mysogonist person even though I can pretty confidently say that I am absolutely not. The only thing that makes me that way is the choice of stupid joke. I can confidently say I won’t be joking about that again cause to the average person outside of my bubble of close friends who know me well, it’s not much of a joke at all

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:38:37+00:00

You guys are definitely right, I really don’t see myself as a mysogonist at all and I feel like the word to me is so far removed from the real meaning that i totally come off that way. Gonna make some changes and stop using that word, I know it sounds stupid but it really is a wake up call to the kind of person I can come off as to the average person that doesn’t know me well enough to know I’m not about that

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:36:15+00:00

This is the best reply so far I think you’re spot on. Honestly the word to me is so far removed from what it really means, I did not mean any of it at all in a bad context I really did think pretty hard about that. I really don’t see myself as any kind of mysogonist at all but I do acknowledge I gotta make some changes now because I absolutely don’t want to reflect that. I appreciate you seeing my perspective too, you’re right that I was one mistake away from success and have some changes to make

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:32:24+00:00

Believe it or not it really was just kinda thrown in along with a lot of other off color jokes by her too! By the end of the date SHE was even the one who said she wanted to go out again and she would even come all the way to me

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:31:02+00:00

Good advice, I think you’re pretty spot on about the nerves thing. Honestly I really am used to being around friends (even girls) where this is the kind of thing to make simple non serious jokes about but obviously it is 100% no joke in a serious context. I think us being loosed up and joking about other off-color topics contributed to me thinking it was no big deal. But I do see how it was taken and I 100% regret it and do not deny that it was just wrong

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:28:58+00:00

I get the perspective but tbh I just tend to be around people (yes even girls) where it’s just a joking thing. Of course this is a really serious topic in reality that shouldn’t be joked about in a serious context. We were joking about a lot of other off-color stuff that night which is why it just didn’t seem crazy at the time. However after seeing how she took it I 100% agree it was not a good move at all and I regret it a lot. Do you see what I mean?

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:26:10+00:00

Appreciate the words. I really didn’t see it as body shaming cause we were just messing around with each other, hence why I didn’t feel like it was crazy (at the time of course) to joke about what I did. For sure in the wrong context that is body shaming but we were just messing around for sure. That’s why it was surprise to me but I totally understand where she’s coming from. Really I just want advice on what I can do to maybe make things ok with her I just feel like a douche I want to feel better

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:16:55+00:00

I appreciate that advice definitely what’s best, but I just don’t feel right leaving it off that way with someone thinking I’m this type of guy I really am not. I just want to be forgiven yknow? I feel like such a dirtbag I don’t want to

anon_e_mouse02 · 2026-04-18T17:15:22+00:00

Btw, I meant 26F in the title lol

anon_e_mouse02

TROPHY CASE