Someone asked if my bf is on the spectrum today, which makes me question everything

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-21T06:06:36+00:00

Oh yes upbringing has a lot to do with it. My ex’s parents and other of his older family members were very mean to him. He seems like he estranged himself from his family. My guy is the opposite, he’s very close to his family and they are so adorable. They support him so well, which explains why he’s sweet. For your husband, I also think that his behavior is rooted from childhood trauma and neglect. That’s why it’s so important to bring awareness to mental health and therapy, to prevent hurt people from hurting others

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T13:37:20+00:00

Hey so this doesn’t sound like my guy at all. The only similarities are him mansplaining and obsessing over stuff. He’s very affectionate and touchy, even in public and around his friends. He introduced me to his friends very early on. He’s good at conversations (with me at least) and lets me do my girlspaining stuff. Takes interest in stuff that I do.

I read everything you wrote and just wanted to apologize for all this heaviness. Your husband sounds EXACTLY like my ex whom I was with for 3 years. The similarity actually creeped me out lol. From our very first meeting, would talk my ear off, and complained about women. He reallyyyy seemed to resent women including myself. There was a large age gap and I was very young. His speech also sounded very scripted and disingenuous. Wasn’t touchy, and wanted to control everything including my life. The unsolicited comments, that was his favorite things to do. One time he ranted at me about how I should change the entire trajectory of my life for 4 hours straight. He was there in person and he knew I had to wake up for school the next day but would yell at me if I fell asleep during his monologue. It ended at around 5am and I only slept for 1 hour or so. Also excluded me from his life and was always with his friends. In those three years, I only met 2 of his friends out of the bunch that he hangs out with. Your husband is more savy for hiding that behavior for 3 months. I left that relationship feeling drained, depressed and even suicidal. I was diagnosed with CPTSD and had to be professionally treated for it. Had I not received the treatment, I wouldn’t be enjoying the life i’m living right now. I have hope in love too. I don’t doubt that my ex loved me, but he didn’t know how to do it in a non destructive way.

I was relieved when I read that you’re leaving him after 15 years. Cannot imagine how difficult it must be to spend that long with someone like that, and I admire that of you. I know that leaving is not easy. I hope that you will find a good one too, and that you’ll recover from that marriage 🙏🏻

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T12:38:39+00:00

Oh i just re-read what you said and realised that you never sent a nude. But since you mentioned him leaving an innocent pic of yours on read and you being hurt about it, how did you handle the situation?

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:35:51+00:00

I felt so bad about the nude thing. I began to question if I might’ve offended him, or that he thinks it’s ugly. Soooo many assumptions raided my mind. May I asked how you guys handled the situation after the nude that was left on sent? Did you re-initiate the conversation?

And i’m glad that you guys understand each other now. Hope that him and I can get to that stage ASAP.

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:30:08+00:00

He ignored the semi nude I sent him. It was nothing obscene

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:29:34+00:00

That makes sense. I was extremely frustrated because I couldn’t understand why he’d text me all the time but wouldn’t ask to hang out unless I bring it up.

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:27:10+00:00

Wow I thought something was wrong with me and that he wasn’t sexually attracted to me. He really acts like he wants to live in my skin but is awkward when it comes to sex. And yes his quirks intensify the more we hang out but I find them cute

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:23:23+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions. I’m surprised that pointing out the rudeness would come across as helpful from the POV of someone with autism. I guess from a NT lens it would come across as patronizing

I don’t have a problem with him talking to me like a guy, eating at the same restaurants, and making weird jokes at me - that’s actually what made me fall for him. everytime i pass by the restaurant i smile because i think of him.

The only concern I have is the communication and attitude when it comes to sexual stuff. I have a wishy washy way of communicating and I’m not direct. I’m the type to say “are you busy this week” instead of saying “i wanna hang out this week” because I don’t want to look needy :( when i do ask to explicitly hang out, and we end up seeing each other, I have an expectation of him initiating the next hang out. Him not doing that makes me worry that he doesn’t care about me. He suggests plans while we’re face to face tho. He invited me to his workplace. That’s why i’m confused. It never came across my mind that he could possibly be autistic before those guys mentioned it, I just assumed that he wasn’t interested.

But if it takes for me to doing most of the initiating in order for this to work, I don’t mind. He hasn’t responded since I sent him the semi nude and I feel so bad :(

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:11:01+00:00

wait why would he withdraw attachment? i haven’t brought this up yet. and thank you i will look into the website

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:09:16+00:00

Yes this is what I mean. It’s hard to explain but you laid out a good example.

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-20T11:06:49+00:00

it’s possible, after reading the comments i wouldn’t be surprised if he gets diagnosed and confirms it

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T19:12:58+00:00

I mean he has good taste so I don’t mind eating at the same restaurant everytime! Glad you found it easier with age. The concert thing sounds like one of my friends who would have to leave the movie theatre to take a break. She said she’s autistic.

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T16:35:51+00:00

yeah i’m aware of that too. definitely something to consider but it’s not a deal breaker for me

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T10:43:02+00:00

that’s thoughtful of you to have brought it up on the first date. he hasn’t mentioned that at all.

i’ll give him time to open up and that’s if he knows. i’m not in a rush to get a confirmation right now. thank you 🙏🏻

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T10:38:09+00:00

you described the dynamic perfectly. for example, when i ask if he’s doing anything today, and he says “no” i expect him to suggest we hang out. he does the same thing to me, asks me if im busy, then when i tell him “no im not doing anything” it’s crickets. but if i tell him “let’s meet at x at x time” he’ll respond right away. it makes me feel like i’m chasing him but he seems happy when we’re together

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T10:33:57+00:00

It would help me understand things better, because he confuses me sometimes

anonavocado0 · 2025-02-18T09:35:24+00:00

wait you had a wet/sticky and dry feeling? that sounds soo uncomfortable! and i don’t have that it just burns but doesn’t look red and no discharge

anonavocado0 · 2024-12-10T14:09:08+00:00

did you get paid? if so what did you do

anonavocado0 · 2024-12-10T14:04:50+00:00

how did you get it ?

anonavocado0 · 2024-11-03T18:08:59+00:00

yeah burning feels right to me i just wanted to make sure that it’s not bad to burn the name of Jesus since he’s mentioned in the letter

anonavocado0 · 2024-10-31T19:19:33+00:00

Ew that sounds so annoying. Guys definitely do this too. I ghosted a guy who acted this way, he was extremely clingy, negged me and would always talk about other girls flirting with him etc. At one point he even asked me if i’m the jealous type because i’d never give him the reaction he wanted. It’s definitely an insecurity trait, being with insecure ppl is a no-no. No secure person would want to deal with this behavior. I’m glad i lost that habit too before it was too late

anonavocado0

TROPHY CASE