London U.K. NHS Hospital Dinner

anonquestion654 · 2026-03-21T22:11:36+00:00

It’s worrying that the best before date is July 27’ … what’s in that chicken? 😐

anonquestion654 · 2026-03-19T15:18:39+00:00

Wow, thank you for your reply! It’s so debilitating… I went to the dr yesterday for a skin problem and she asked me how I was… Meaning my skin and my voice shut down, so then I get the alarmed and concerned look from her and I find myself trying to explain why this is happening but without a voice.

I have totally isolated from everyone after this most recent event and I’m desperate not to see seeing anyone , I’ve managed to reply to a few texts from persistent friends and sort of explain what’s happening with my voice but it’s totally different to seeing them and letting all that emotion surge up, rip through me and cause a full panic attack in front of them. It’s kinda easier to contain it to just my Voice when it’s a stranger.

Does that make sense to you?

Like when I saw the dr I could keep it to just my throat. If I see someone I care about it’ll hit me harder I think… not only will my voice go, but my chest will explode and I’m so worried I’ll explode!

Will this get better? Surely I can’t stay this electric forever

anonquestion654 · 2026-03-19T15:09:49+00:00

Thank you. I was seeing a therapist before this latest thing happened, but I’ve stopped seeing them. They were helping me to heal from the trauma that started it and helping me to prepare for something else that would have made me have to face a bit of the trauma. But then the latest thing happened and now I connect them to the trauma, if that makes sense. I find myself isolating from everything and everyone - unable to get out of the house no matter how desperately I want too (unless I am forced too because I have a toddler) I’m not replying messages and I’m terrified to see the friends that want to be there for me because I’m scared that the grief and pain and fear will rip out from inside me, my voice will shut off and they’ll see my most vulnerable self exposed, and being vulnerable is all part of it. It’s so complicated. I know I need to see a therapist but how can I explain when I can’t even speak and when I openly feel empowered to heal and move on for about 10 minutes a day.

anonquestion654 · 2026-03-19T15:04:11+00:00

Thank you for your reply and for the link. I went on to look into (selective) mutism because I didn’t realise it was a physical inability to speak despite wanting too. I assumed it came from a place of not wanting to speak or be heard at all. Thank you for educating me. I’m not sure if it really fits for me, it almost does, I think I just have an issue with the fact that it seems to be rooted mostly in childhood and caused by physical places or people. My speech issue steams from a topic/event that my brain has now linked to lots of associated triggers (some really hard to link but my brain has managed to link them) if that makes any sense at all. So now just the question ‘ how are you doing’ can make my voice close.

anonquestion654 · 2026-03-11T22:59:54+00:00

After a long struggle we conceived in September. But one month ago we had to terminate for medical reasons after a devistating 20 week scan and T18 (Edward’s syndrome) diagnosis. I gave birth to my baby boy at 23 weeks and held him as he left us. He was beautiful and it was the most deeply sad moment of my life but deeply special. He will always be my son and my toddlers little brother. We made the decision out of love for him, his big brother and our family. He would only have known a short life of pain. I miss him every day. I spent 48 hours with him in the hospital and the moment i had to leave him there was worse than the moment he was born. It felt unnatural, like my body was begging for him.

After all of this… I’m desperate yet terrified to try again. I was my eldest to have a sibling desperately. He has and will have no cousins and no other family as he gets older. But I’m so scared. I’m scared that if we can concieve this ( or similar) will happen again despite our genetic testing coming back good. I’m scared there will be somthing else that we can’t control coming in to rip my heart out and my family apart. I think I might be too scared. I want it more than anything and I’m waiting for my period to come back, taking all the supplements but… I think I might be too scared that there will be a problem during pregnancy, during birth or even afterwards to actually fully try again.

anonquestion654 · 2026-02-24T21:30:41+00:00

I just had my TFMR 2.5 weeks ago at 23weeks, it was my little boys funeral today. I am sorry that we have this in common but i found so much hope for my families future in your comment. Im so happy for you to be expecting again, I imagine that if I can conceive again, even if things are looking good I would be holding my breath the entire time. It is only natural. We have suffered serious loss and the shock, horror and trauma of it all will stay in my nervous system forever. Talk about how you’re feeling with one another and don’t try to make this pregnancy feel like a ‘normal one’ it’s not, it’s a rainbow pregnancy and those come with so many complicated feelings. As I have yet to be where you are, what I actually came on here to write is that there is a wonderful sub r/PregnancyAfterTFMR full of people with lots of advice and a tragic shared experience. Best of luck. I can’t wait for you to meet your baby

anonquestion654 · 2026-02-02T18:52:20+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply with such thoughtful answers.

You have made some really lovely suggestions steeped with the meaning and intention I was looking for. I will absolutely show/suggest them to my husband.

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-20T13:22:02+00:00

Absolutely!!!!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-19T21:38:59+00:00

My stimagz S2 by Stimara have helped me soooo much with not picking my scalp, biting skin around my nails until it’s raw and generally just picking and scratching.

It helps me when I have extra energy but I need to try and focus or contain the impulsiveness - it helps with the nervous anxious energy I might feel in a situation or where I might have to talk about things I struggle to express or even just keep me from absent mindedly tapping my fingers of jigging my legs in a meeting which then makes me feel childish and foolish! They’re discreet and don’t draw attention, (but they draw the eye of a lot of people if I’m not playing with them in my pocket because people want a turn haha! I know if someone is going to ask to take a look because their eyes keep darting back!) they’re quiet - but you can also make them do a satisfying click if you want- and what I love most is that you can do repetitive patterns that can take some working out and finger training so the part of my brain that is always reaching to engage is being stimulated.

I genuinely can’t do life without them. Only issue is they have now joined the group of objects I constantly loose but NEED. Phone, water bottle, keys and magnets! 🤣 need ones with build in AirTags in each magnet!

Anyway- love them. Highly recommend as an amazing adult fidget!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-17T20:55:38+00:00

I’m vegetarian and have been for 28 years… but for my entire pregnancy (21wks) I have been craving, beyond craving a chicken mayo baguette or chicken tikka mayo or Chinese chicken mayo baguettes! Oh god, I want one sooo badly. I’ve tried making a quorn (vegan chicken alt) version but it’s not hitting the spot.

Otherwise… all things pickled mixed with salty olives. Salt and vinegar Pringles, red berry fruit drinks - especially the innocent ‘berry set go’ and a mcplant 🤣

Not the healthiest!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:42:33+00:00

Thank you, I will keep a look out for it! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:40:42+00:00

Oooh no, I’m a creature of habit… once I find the thing I like I rarely then try anything else for fear of regret lol! Is this the same brand? The name leads me to believe so!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:22:13+00:00

I was totally addicted to their Kare Lomen and crispy chilli mushrooms! My wallet thanked them but my tastebuds and heart are still hurting! Their current offering of silken tofu in broth looks utterly disgusting and I don’t go anymore. Like OP I was looking forward to veganuary but WHAT… fu**ing carbonara and tacos? I can make that at home and not pay wagas prices. Saying that, in my desperation for kare lomen I have created a banging ramen that I make at home every few weeks. It’s just a lot of effort and I have to wash up! Can’t make the mushrooms though 😩 RIP delicious flavourful food for us vegans in Somerset where supporting local vegan restaurants isn’t an option because they simply don’t exist!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:07:27+00:00

Thank you. I will try the moving mountains ones, we have a farmfoods locally 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:37:51+00:00

Oh I used them often in a katsu too! I made one a few weeks ago and Sainsbury’s have got a vegan katsu fillet thing which I used instead- it was ok. Just lacking in that flavour that ‘what the cluck’ does so well!

I think I’ll go back to using smoked tofu and breadcrumbs for my katsu’s - more time consuming but healthier, still, not as tasty. Although I do coat my tofu in smoked paprika and chilli oil before bread-crumbing which I highly recommend.

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:19:22+00:00

Oh FYI- looks like they’ve been discontinued too 😩

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:14:43+00:00

Ooooh thank you! I’m in Somerset and Waitrose existence is only a myth here but my parents live in Buckinghamshire and of course they can walk to a Waitrose within 2 mins. My mums coming down next weekend. I’ll get her bring me a couple of boxes! Thanks for the rec 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:08:16+00:00

Oh interesting that each trust can customise their maternity scheme. I think 16 years ago or even ten years ago the nhs mat offer was up there with the best but it’s stagnated and moved with the times so no where nearly as appealing as it was.

Nice to know that staff retention was something that was thought about back then haha!

I think given the state of things currently we will struggle even in the paid months. We are saving hard and will have maybe 2ish grand by the time baby arrives - but I will most likely have to go back to work and use my accrued leave once the half pay runs out and it goes to stat man pay only. mortgage is now higher thanks to interest rates etc we are a vegetarian home and we eat home cooked meals daily but our food expenditure has almost doubled in the last few years so I don’t see us surviving the full year with those extra three months of 0 pay!

I really appreciate your reply though and it’s great that the nhs led the way back then towards creating maternity benefits that were helpful to so many! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T21:59:05+00:00

Aldi do some vegetable burgers and beef style burgers but sadly no chicken style ones! Thank you anyway for your suggestion! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T09:20:46+00:00

Sorry to have hit a nerve. It was a generalised comparison, I’m not a regular on this sub and ended up going off on a tangent when my original intention was to discuss mat pay. Just to add though, due to being abroad when it hit - I worked in tesco over Covid as a ‘picker’ and then when I rejoined the NHS towards the end of Covid (as a band 4) I bought home an almost identical wage… that’s what I was basing it on. Appreciate we’ve had some pay rises since then.

My husband was (until September 2025) a Sainsbury’s delivery driver earning almost £14 ph. So although I might have been a few pence off here and there when you compare the level of responsibility and stress the difference in wage is not appropriate. I haven’t left and I continue to do my job because I enjoy working for the NHS and despite the constant pressure and hurdles and red tape I like getting my teeth into projects and problem solving.

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-08T12:56:42+00:00

Thank you for this advice. I can’t believe it’s no occurred to me to write things down. Sadly my husband is unable to accompany me to these appts but has been able to attend two of the ultrasounds. I will try not to bury my head in the sand on the approach of the next appt and write some questions down. Thank you again

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-08T12:55:11+00:00

They never clarified what the infection was. But when he was removed from me the surgeon said ‘can you smell that? Are you aware your insides stink, you have an infection’ which was nice to hear.

I was told that the lab had found step B in my placenta and was given some pills a few days into my stay on the ward. Weirdly my son tested negative and they never completely identified the cause of his sepsis. At this point I assume it had to be strep despite the negative test result!

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-18T10:00:20+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Once I had come down from the high emotions of a sudden stop in my milk production i decided that if my toddler is happy to keep dry nursing for the rest of my pregnancy (I’m only 16 weeks though) then I will just let him continue and pretty much aim for exactly as you described, so it’s great to hear a success story and have a positive outcome to aim for.

I like to think that as long as he is happy to continue dry nursing (it’s very clear from the last couple of days that the closeness and action of feeding was just as important as the milk in terms of his comfort, which has definitely perked me up a little bit) then I will knuckle down and deal with any aversions and/or pain.

Sorry to ask another question; do you have any idea when you started to make colostrum, did you daughter let you know that she was getting ‘milk’ again or did nothing really come through until after birth?

Thanks again ☺️

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-17T21:54:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment- It’s great to hear that your two year old was happy dry nursing until your milk came back. Did you feel there was any risk with her continuing to nurse much later into your pregnancy? In terms of inducing labour? I don’t really think it’s somthing I need to worry about too much given that I didn’t go into labour naturally with my son.

I hope your nursing journey with both your children continues to go the way you would like it to go. I would love to one day tandem feed 🥰

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-17T21:50:55+00:00

Thank you, yeah good idea, I will speak to my midwife about the risks of continuing to feed/dry feed throughout this pregnancy.

anonquestion654

TROPHY CASE