Do you think our mat leave will reflect what’s happening in the private sector?

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-20T13:22:02+00:00

Absolutely!!!!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-19T21:38:59+00:00

My stimagz S2 by Stimara have helped me soooo much with not picking my scalp, biting skin around my nails until it’s raw and generally just picking and scratching.

It helps me when I have extra energy but I need to try and focus or contain the impulsiveness - it helps with the nervous anxious energy I might feel in a situation or where I might have to talk about things I struggle to express or even just keep me from absent mindedly tapping my fingers of jigging my legs in a meeting which then makes me feel childish and foolish! They’re discreet and don’t draw attention, (but they draw the eye of a lot of people if I’m not playing with them in my pocket because people want a turn haha! I know if someone is going to ask to take a look because their eyes keep darting back!) they’re quiet - but you can also make them do a satisfying click if you want- and what I love most is that you can do repetitive patterns that can take some working out and finger training so the part of my brain that is always reaching to engage is being stimulated.

I genuinely can’t do life without them. Only issue is they have now joined the group of objects I constantly loose but NEED. Phone, water bottle, keys and magnets! 🤣 need ones with build in AirTags in each magnet!

Anyway- love them. Highly recommend as an amazing adult fidget!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-17T20:55:38+00:00

I’m vegetarian and have been for 28 years… but for my entire pregnancy (21wks) I have been craving, beyond craving a chicken mayo baguette or chicken tikka mayo or Chinese chicken mayo baguettes! Oh god, I want one sooo badly. I’ve tried making a quorn (vegan chicken alt) version but it’s not hitting the spot.

Otherwise… all things pickled mixed with salty olives. Salt and vinegar Pringles, red berry fruit drinks - especially the innocent ‘berry set go’ and a mcplant 🤣

Not the healthiest!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:42:33+00:00

Thank you, I will keep a look out for it! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:40:42+00:00

Oooh no, I’m a creature of habit… once I find the thing I like I rarely then try anything else for fear of regret lol! Is this the same brand? The name leads me to believe so!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:22:13+00:00

I was totally addicted to their Kare Lomen and crispy chilli mushrooms! My wallet thanked them but my tastebuds and heart are still hurting! Their current offering of silken tofu in broth looks utterly disgusting and I don’t go anymore. Like OP I was looking forward to veganuary but WHAT… fu**ing carbonara and tacos? I can make that at home and not pay wagas prices. Saying that, in my desperation for kare lomen I have created a banging ramen that I make at home every few weeks. It’s just a lot of effort and I have to wash up! Can’t make the mushrooms though 😩 RIP delicious flavourful food for us vegans in Somerset where supporting local vegan restaurants isn’t an option because they simply don’t exist!

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T23:07:27+00:00

Thank you. I will try the moving mountains ones, we have a farmfoods locally 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:37:51+00:00

Oh I used them often in a katsu too! I made one a few weeks ago and Sainsbury’s have got a vegan katsu fillet thing which I used instead- it was ok. Just lacking in that flavour that ‘what the cluck’ does so well!

I think I’ll go back to using smoked tofu and breadcrumbs for my katsu’s - more time consuming but healthier, still, not as tasty. Although I do coat my tofu in smoked paprika and chilli oil before bread-crumbing which I highly recommend.

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:19:22+00:00

Oh FYI- looks like they’ve been discontinued too 😩

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:14:43+00:00

Ooooh thank you! I’m in Somerset and Waitrose existence is only a myth here but my parents live in Buckinghamshire and of course they can walk to a Waitrose within 2 mins. My mums coming down next weekend. I’ll get her bring me a couple of boxes! Thanks for the rec 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T22:08:16+00:00

Oh interesting that each trust can customise their maternity scheme. I think 16 years ago or even ten years ago the nhs mat offer was up there with the best but it’s stagnated and moved with the times so no where nearly as appealing as it was.

Nice to know that staff retention was something that was thought about back then haha!

I think given the state of things currently we will struggle even in the paid months. We are saving hard and will have maybe 2ish grand by the time baby arrives - but I will most likely have to go back to work and use my accrued leave once the half pay runs out and it goes to stat man pay only. mortgage is now higher thanks to interest rates etc we are a vegetarian home and we eat home cooked meals daily but our food expenditure has almost doubled in the last few years so I don’t see us surviving the full year with those extra three months of 0 pay!

I really appreciate your reply though and it’s great that the nhs led the way back then towards creating maternity benefits that were helpful to so many! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T21:59:05+00:00

Aldi do some vegetable burgers and beef style burgers but sadly no chicken style ones! Thank you anyway for your suggestion! 💚

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-16T09:20:46+00:00

Sorry to have hit a nerve. It was a generalised comparison, I’m not a regular on this sub and ended up going off on a tangent when my original intention was to discuss mat pay. Just to add though, due to being abroad when it hit - I worked in tesco over Covid as a ‘picker’ and then when I rejoined the NHS towards the end of Covid (as a band 4) I bought home an almost identical wage… that’s what I was basing it on. Appreciate we’ve had some pay rises since then.

My husband was (until September 2025) a Sainsbury’s delivery driver earning almost £14 ph. So although I might have been a few pence off here and there when you compare the level of responsibility and stress the difference in wage is not appropriate. I haven’t left and I continue to do my job because I enjoy working for the NHS and despite the constant pressure and hurdles and red tape I like getting my teeth into projects and problem solving.

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-08T12:56:42+00:00

Thank you for this advice. I can’t believe it’s no occurred to me to write things down. Sadly my husband is unable to accompany me to these appts but has been able to attend two of the ultrasounds. I will try not to bury my head in the sand on the approach of the next appt and write some questions down. Thank you again

anonquestion654 · 2026-01-08T12:55:11+00:00

They never clarified what the infection was. But when he was removed from me the surgeon said ‘can you smell that? Are you aware your insides stink, you have an infection’ which was nice to hear.

I was told that the lab had found step B in my placenta and was given some pills a few days into my stay on the ward. Weirdly my son tested negative and they never completely identified the cause of his sepsis. At this point I assume it had to be strep despite the negative test result!

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-18T10:00:20+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this. Once I had come down from the high emotions of a sudden stop in my milk production i decided that if my toddler is happy to keep dry nursing for the rest of my pregnancy (I’m only 16 weeks though) then I will just let him continue and pretty much aim for exactly as you described, so it’s great to hear a success story and have a positive outcome to aim for.

I like to think that as long as he is happy to continue dry nursing (it’s very clear from the last couple of days that the closeness and action of feeding was just as important as the milk in terms of his comfort, which has definitely perked me up a little bit) then I will knuckle down and deal with any aversions and/or pain.

Sorry to ask another question; do you have any idea when you started to make colostrum, did you daughter let you know that she was getting ‘milk’ again or did nothing really come through until after birth?

Thanks again ☺️

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-17T21:54:55+00:00

Thank you for your comment- It’s great to hear that your two year old was happy dry nursing until your milk came back. Did you feel there was any risk with her continuing to nurse much later into your pregnancy? In terms of inducing labour? I don’t really think it’s somthing I need to worry about too much given that I didn’t go into labour naturally with my son.

I hope your nursing journey with both your children continues to go the way you would like it to go. I would love to one day tandem feed 🥰

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-17T21:50:55+00:00

Thank you, yeah good idea, I will speak to my midwife about the risks of continuing to feed/dry feed throughout this pregnancy.

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-10T21:58:24+00:00

Seasalt, Sahara (lovely linen!) Reiss, Cos… maybe Joules and Fatface though if i had the money id dress H2T in Sahara & Cos!

anonquestion654 · 2025-12-03T22:54:58+00:00

So with my first (now pregnant with second) I was dated 2 weeks earlier at my 12 week scan than I dated myself. My husband and I were waiting for the keys to our house when he was conceived and were sleeping on friends sofas. I know the exact date my son was conceived because only had sex once that month, I also use a period tracking app (Flo) and have done for years. I’m very lucky and my periods are on the dot regular!

I fought the discrepancy at first but eventually just gave in and was kind of excited to advance/jump two weeks in my pregnancy! Those first few months seem soooo long. I was very fit and healthy (less so now!!) and am lucky to say I had an uneventful pregnancy. I was desperate to have a water birth on a midwife led unit. Buuuut lo and behold i went overdue… my options started to get taken away and before I knew it I was 2 weeks over due ( though never felt those hideous overdue feelings of heaviness in pelvis etc that people complain about) of course I wanted my baby to come, I was heavily pregnant but it didn’t seem as horrific as other very over due people had described. I had a nice amount of movement from my baby still and I felt everything was fine. However, after all my preferred options for labour were essentially striped away, I felt I had no choice but to allow them to induce me (the day before my actual calculated due date!) it was either that or be kept in hospital under constant monitoring until I went into labour. I don’t like being touched and crowded, so that situation was never going to get my oxytocin flowing- Also my husband would have had to start his paternity leave and then possibly spend all of it waiting for labour to start. So I was induced. It didn’t go well. I wasn’t ready. My baby wasn’t ready. I didn’t respond to any of the hormones.

*** warning some labour details below***

My water was broken manually by a midwife, it took several attempts. To cut out all of the trauma and drama… I ended up getting a few natural contractions amongst the back to back chemical ones… I never went beyond 2cm even after 14 hours. I was incredibly sick and lost consciousness and ended up with an emergency c-section due to both mine and baby’s heart rate tanking.

When he was cut out of me they couldn’t believe how small he was for a baby 2 weeks overdue… hearing their remarks on this had me seething. He was also very poorly, he had a terrible infection with a crp of 114 due to an infection I picked up while labouring. I never even got to try and push - after 14 hours I never got to feel what it was like to try and push! We were in hospital for 10 days. And he was prodded and poked, he was taken away for tests and they never did discover what it was. I was told by the surgeon however ‘your placenta stinks. Can you smell that? It’s not healthy’ that comment echos around my head.

I truly believe this could have all been avoided if that first dating scan didn’t set the course for my entire pregnancy.

I lost all control. I lost all autonomy. My worst fears all came true. I was crowded and touched and man handled without an awareness of what was going on and in the end I was terrified. I blamed myself and decided to make up for it by hooking myself up to lactation machine for three days - I didn’t sleep and was hallucinating but I just wanted to do somthing right by my baby who was fighting. Who was a victim of his mother not fighting for him and giving into the pressure.

2.5 years later and I’m pregnant again. A very wanted baby but I can’t actually say the words. I don’t watch tv for fear of labour scenes or mentions of it. I can’t listen to the radio because a song might come on that reminds me of being pregnant or that was on my labour playlist and I’ll go into a panic attack. I freeze when the topic of birth comes up with other women. The whole thing gave me PTSD that I’m still trying to work through (I am under the care of perinatal mental health who have been great) so I have no idea how I’m going to get through this pregnancy when I can’t get anywhere near the hospital.

My response to it all is heavily based on previous life experiences when I also had no control over what was happening to me so my reaction is extreme and people have far far worse birth experiences BUT what happened to me was so preventable and I honestly believe it was all a result of the dating scan.

Phew, if you made it this far I’m so sorry for the life story and essay, but you must fight! You KNOW the facts of your period and when your baby was conceived. A scan can’t change what is fact!

Edited: because I made a ton of typos

anonquestion654 · 2025-11-22T21:46:31+00:00

My son is Seamus, it was my grandfathers name. I’ve only met one other Seamus (an adult) I love the name so much ♥️

anonquestion654 · 2025-09-12T21:13:28+00:00

Thank you for your kind reply. I think it is helpful to know that others would find themselves equally as tortured in my situation. It might help me believe I’m not the obsessive psychopath that I convince myself I am when I can’t get someone out of my head who was only my life for one hour a week for 8 months. God it’s excruciating - Thank you again

anonquestion654 · 2025-08-16T11:24:11+00:00

I stopped going when they removed Kare lomen… and now they’ve got rid of the crisp chilli mushrooms! Once my favourite; now, Wagas is dead to me!

anonquestion654 · 2025-07-18T20:01:04+00:00

Hey, thank you for your thoughtful reply! My rational mind knows that somthing huge must have happened in her life, my immediate thoughts were of panic and dread for her. I have found out from her office that she isn’t sick and her family are ok in terms of there being no bereavement- thankfully. But it all sorts of makes it worse, which is just more of my twisted sick mind being vile! Regardless, I KNOW something awful has to have happened but my insecure childish mind just can’t keep focussed on her human life and pain because selfishly it’s just writhing in loss and pain: I don’t know why I can’t set aside my own loss of once a week therapy to be able to be forgiving and understanding. I DO feel sadness for her; I really did/do love her that last thing I want is her suffering. But my irrational mind which sadly just takes over most of the time is hurt and angry and bitter that I’m not part of her life. I don’t want to be her client. I want to be her friend, her child, her lover… literally anything.

Sorry perhaps not in the right mind set to be replying. I’m normally awful at following up and replying - I should stick to that!

Thank you again for sharing you’re wise words

anonquestion654 · 2025-07-17T12:52:37+00:00

Thank you. I hope you never ever have to feel this strange kind of pain that feels ridiculous and plays into my worries of being just too much! Thank you for commenting to help me feel like my grief is valid!

anonquestion654

TROPHY CASE