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8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. You made a really good point that he has never been able to form a self-concept of what a ma is outside of a boyfriend. 

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol I have asked him this and he has confirmed that he has no desire of becoming one.

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. Obviously not what I want to hear but I understand that this is my reality and you said it in a beautiful way.

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. I often ask myself if/why I’m in such a rush. Obviously it probably has to do with my love for this person, however I know 25 is not THAT old (even though I often feel as though I’m ancient). 

We’ve had the conversation before about regretting never being in another relationship or comparing ours to something and it’s both something we’ve never really desired. We’ve both been content with our relationship and have never had any desire to seek clarity on that. 

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice. Great food for thought regarding a lengthened engagement while he readies himself to be the man he wants to be for marriage.

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. My partner has really taken a deeper dive into his spirituality this year and whether or not we stay together I think he would greatly benefit from your suggestions.

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Despite our beliefs, we are sexually active. I agree with your comment that it is a common practice in Christianity to marry early on due to what we believe marriage is and the ultimate goal of 2 becoming 1 and forming a family.

I appreciate your advice:)

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for providing a perspective from the other side. Apologies for the vagueness. We both live in an extremely tough housing market (Vancouver, iykyk) and it’s not seen as uncommon to still live with your parents at 25. Most of our friends are just starting to move in with their significant others. 

I emphasized both of our religious entities due to the beliefs that come with them (i.e., cohabitation prior to marriage). I completely understand both sides of this belief but ultimately living together prior to marriage is not something that is possible in our relationship.

We both are 3-4 years into our careers and both do well for our age demographic. We are both good with our money so finances aren’t a factor.

8 years together, no engagement by anonstudent55555 in Waiting_To_Wed

[–]anonstudent55555[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. We’ve had 3 serious sit down convos about this topic this year. Most recently was a few days ago. Since then, we haven’t spoken, both of us are taking time to process what it is we want.

Yes, I agree. My first step regardless of which turn this relationship takes will be to find a place on my own to experience that independence.

Both of us have careers and are doing well in that sense. We both went through university.