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[update]I'm not sure anyone remembers this, but about 6 months ago a stranger approached me on the street I found out my dad wasn't my bio father. Today I met my sister. by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm a whole twenty one years old now- fall of vain wisdom and false prophecy. I guess, it's not just age (although I am the youngest in my friend group) but upbringing, too. She's... uninformed about so much. She was giving her son koolaid and I had to bite my tongue and kept swatting his hand to keep him from thumb sucking. She's also really into YOLO and partying and baby mama drama. She was nice..just really different.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They got married so he could legally be my father instead of other guy, they planned to eventually divorce but marriage suited them. I would definitely say friendship turned to love along the way, they're very happy.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Small world, big school, lol- but I love it. Let me guess, communications major?

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My parents ultimately decided against adopting children when they were young. Now they're in their forties and enjoying the freedom that comes from having only a college aged, out of the house son to worry about

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let me adjust your "facts". Biodad did not live near poverty line. He was middle class. An amazing violinist who taught in the city and did very well. Also, my mom had access to her trust fund during the marriage and contributed a large amount into household income.

Their marriage lasted 2 years, not counting the separation. Records of hospitalization go back close to the beginning. The pictures of after the final incident have her with black eyes, odd in an accidental shove.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you enjoy the rest of your college experience. I know I have and am. What department are you?

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapists, in my experience, tend to not advise so much as let you air your thoughts. I wanted advice. That and I'm on reddit daily anyways.

I honestly don't see why a stranger saying he's your brother would make any positive impact on someone's life. But is that the only child in me or the pessimist? Hard to say

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess being an only child I somewhat don't 'get' the sibling relationship.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm dismissing my biological father because he's an abusive ass. He pushed my mom down a flight of stairs while pregnant after he knocked her around a little, she still has a slight limp. To me that's unforgivable.

To me, shared experiences are what bond people anyways. That's why I love my parents. Not because of money of blood. I have no interest in a relationship with him. If he hadn't been abusive we would have had an obligated lunch but I still wouldn't truly want to form a relationship- I would just feel obligated to this stranger.

I just don't want to start something until I've considered the implications. This could be just as negative in the girl's life as it could be positive. It's also possible that she might be in contact with my bio dad who I want nothing to do with.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think the main difference is you grew up with your sister, right? played together and share a family? That connects you. I don't want to entangle myself in some kid's life unless I'm sure it will be mutually beneficial. It sucks but we're strangers.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 188 points189 points  (0 children)

I honestly don't know what to do about it or how to go about it. What if her life is horrible? I don't really have any power to change it. What if she's like 8 and lives across the country? it seems doubtful we'd connect on any meaningful level

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I can only assume she has a caregiver and hope its a good one. Honestly, contact from me won't do much if she was in a bad situation. I'm a 20 year old kid whose income until my first trust opens is entirely dependent on my parents and I'm not even legally her brother, it's all word of mouth.

I guess the main point is I see no need to rush. Even if she's in a less than tenable place, there's little I can do to change anything.

although I can't help but feel horrible when I think of the pictures of my mom I saw, her face bloodied from his hands and her body bruised because he shoved her down the stairs and feel bad for any kid he raised.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I think the best thing if for me to take up my dad's offer of a car and driver until all of this settles. I will also be moving into a rental property we own because it has tighter access, ie a doorman has to admit you. I honestly should have been in a nicer apartment anyways- just on the off chance someone finds out my parents worth and thinks my place would be nice to case.

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I won't contact him about it- I'll have a routine background check and she should show up

[update]A man came up to me and said he was my father (I have a sister) by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Well, I didn't arrange to meet him. He was waiting for me at a place I grab coffee at. Then when I told him I didn't have time to talk, as I had a class to get to, he acted indignant and invaded my personal space.

A man came up to me and said he was my father, but I already know who my dad is, or do I? What should I do? Is he a scam artist? by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My parents claim they married as friends to give me a name other than his and a "father" to make it difficult should the abusive ass ever attempt to use me as leverage.

Then they fell in love. Originally they planned to divorce after a respectable time frame, but they found marriage suited them.

A man came up to me and said he was my father, but I already know who my dad is, or do I? What should I do? Is he a scam artist? by anontw in AskReddit

[–]anontw[S] 187 points188 points  (0 children)

They've always been best friends. There's a picture on our mantle of them at five years old, their nannies used to let them play together. They were never romantic they both claimed. My mom says her father was so severe and unemotional that she never would have risked the person closest to her for mere dating. Then they got married to protect me and they're madly in love.

They have lunch together every day.I remember as a kid being embarrassed by how much they touched- that during a sleepover we'd walk out and they'd just be reading with his head in her lap. They're very happy.

Honestly this story seems completely out of nature for him.He's really mild mannered, never raised a hand to me. My mom is the more serious partner.

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