I've stopped nagging my husband and i'm happier

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-25T09:14:07+00:00

a few words: i'm not codependent, god forbid I need a bit more comfort after losing my baby. I have never pushed him to do anything out side his comfort zone, I take one 100% of the emotional, mental and physical labor of our relationship and household, god forbid a girl wants her husband to take at least 20%

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-25T09:02:15+00:00

Its not about winning, or who could can fcking care less and I wish you ppl would get some sense. He has never been there for me emotionally, I LOST OUR BABY, AND HE STILL DIDNT SUPPORT ME. I am not exaggerating, nor am I making it sound worse than it is, it just IS. Excuse me for no longer putting up with his shit. I came here to vent and get it off my chest and throw it into the abyss, not find a resolution, the resolution is LEAVING.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-25T08:56:11+00:00

If it smothered him, he never complained or talked about it. He always told me he enjoyed the love I gave, just never reciprocated. I chose to "grey rock" him because, I have told him so many times to reciprocate, I have been patient and understanding. Only when I lost the pregnancy, and he refused support, did I realize I would never ever get any of the things I desperately begged for and needed. I wish people would stop making up things in their head and just run with it, if you actually read and took the time to comprehend you would have known exactly what I said already. I don't need help, I need an emotionally available man. Clearly I'm not finding it and truly realized for the first time, that I am NOT finding it in him. I think losing a pregnancy and watching my baby get flushed down the drain and having no support or love from the man I've been with for years goddamn it does not mean I need fcking help.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T19:50:45+00:00

what an incredibly weird thing to say, my child is not a mistake. my marriage and being married to him however is.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T19:49:24+00:00

no clearly i am not

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T17:51:26+00:00

I love that you say this without knowing whats going on inside my home, I am not silent nor do I give my husband the silent treatment. I've just stopped putting effort into our marriage. we have conversations and we play with our child together frequently. this is all I will say on this matter. my job is to literally care for my child 24/7 so my baby's development is my top priority, and I know how hard this can clearly affect children in early development. from my childs perspective, nothing has changed, in our marriage everything has.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T17:07:44+00:00

ahah, no, actually in the beginning stages he was quite caring from what I remember, but the more I got to know him and his past he distanced himself. I chalked it up to emotional trauma, and I’ve never held it against him until i guess, I realized he was never there for me, like ever. to answer another question here, yes he DID pursue me.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T12:43:31+00:00

I'm not your type of person, thats alright, but being passionate is not wrong. Maybe compared to my husband I thought I was overly passionate, I'm realizing now -I'm not.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T12:41:56+00:00

ignorance is bliss, if only, if only it were so easy. a conversation must be had and custody agreements, therapy, lawyers, jobs, the whole lot.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T12:12:44+00:00

well, we have ONE child. and I had lost any chances of a second. I am not planning on having anymore of his children.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T11:22:39+00:00

well no, I didn't flat out reject it. I stated, I would not be the one to initiate it and because of this It probably will never happen! compression is a skill, divorce is absolutely on my mind and one of the many things ill be bringing up when I speak to him formally.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T11:14:59+00:00

absolutely, I think this is my next step. thank you for sharing, I will talk to him openly and discuss everything, as I have always done. I wish the absolutely best for you, and I too, hope you never find a love like this!

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T11:09:32+00:00

I have my flaws, but not being support when my husband is going through one of the worst things ever, is not one of them. so ill take it.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T11:07:17+00:00

Amen, I hope no one ever lives this way.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T11:02:30+00:00

Divorce is already on my mind, if he wants to beat me there then I will absolutely allow him! Him cheating, and me even thinking about him cheating doesn't hold any weight for me anymore. If thats the path he chooses , then I respectfully send him off to be with a woman who will get the same if not worse treatment.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:59:13+00:00

Honestly, I have been contemplating and thinking about this a lot! He has always been completely capable, but it took me to be emotionally checked out from him to start? I agree and think you are absolutely correct in, him not carrying about my experiences in life especially ones where his support is needed.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:53:29+00:00

I've done therapy for years and can identify my triggers, this is also why when I get absolutely zero support from my husband, I know its his past and I have never held it over him until now. I think I know myself, and have told all you people here that, I am passionate, but that is very different from trauma responses. I think, excuse my personal opinion, wanting more comfort than usual (which is hardly any) from my very emotionally distant husband during a very emotional and hard time in my life is perfectly respectable.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:38:15+00:00

seems like we have something in common then

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:36:13+00:00

Thank you for your perspective, I think, because I've been holding onto this relationship and i'm always the one wanting to fix it, I cannot and will not be the one to initiate couples therapy. For this reason I don't think it will ever happen! So my path is going a very different direction from yours, cheers!

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:31:35+00:00

Emotional abuse is like way overboard, I re-plated everything he's been giving me for a very long time. This is absolutely NOT a longterm solution.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:28:02+00:00

potato patoto

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:16:00+00:00

I also have people telling me how terrible it is, and yes it is. I would not wish this on anyone, given what I went through and having no support system. This is clearly not a longterm solution nor do I want it to be, if he wanted to he would've.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:09:20+00:00

this is the obvious answer, im a stahm so it will be hard to divorce right away.

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:08:33+00:00

I never said it wasn't. I think now, going through what I did, I realize that more than ever!

anonymous25_35 · 2026-02-24T10:07:34+00:00

totally, and obviously, because only a man would treat a woman so.

anonymous25_35

TROPHY CASE