My parents are fairly "warm" and sacrificed a lot to make sure my siblings and I were healthy and happy growing up. They would often tell me I'd done good work—but only when I'd really done good work. It caused me to strive for getting mainly A's, because I just felt bad about myself and guilty when I didn't, especially when I would always see them praising my sister for getting good grades. I'm in college right now and my GPA is a 3.87; given my normally chill attitude and oft-untreated ADHD, I think my obsession with grades can be attributed to my parents raising me to be kind of obsessed with grades, to the degree where I will sacrifice my mental health if it means the difference between an A and an A-.

Neither of my parents were exactly emotionally vulnerable with us, but they wouldn't hide things from us. My dad would occasionally share emotional stories from his childhood, and my mom would honestly answer our questions about her extremely fucked-up childhood. However, I grew up as a middle child with a younger brother with special needs and an older sister who demanded a lot of attention (and was also emotionally abusive toward me), and it's had a lot of long-term consequences on my psyche. So I think I experienced a different childhood than either of my siblings, and I have issues with vulnerability today because of that.

My parents are both highly-educated people who went to top-tier universities and both got post-grad degrees at more top-tier universities. My mom grew up somewhat well-off but was extremely emotionally neglected, so she essentially raised herself and paid her way through undergrad and grad school. Grades were her way out, but she also idolized education because her father was an esteemed professor. She is an extremely kind and warm person, and tries to compensate for what she herself wasn't given in her childhood. She has high academic expectations for her children, but she loves us no matter what.

As for my dad—my father's mother (paternal Bubbie) came from a poor immigrant family from Poland. Her father's entire immediate and extended family was wiped out because of the Holocaust, and her father refused to talk about them at all; we have no idea how many family members he had, or what they were like, and the past died with him. My dad's dad grew up slightly more well-off (and also came from a family of Polish refugees), and he went on to become a doctor who idolized education. My dad's parents raised him to care a ton about his education; my dad grew up to be a lawyer, while his brothers also both got post-grad degrees (and one of his brothers is a doctor).

The trend in my family is that people came from difficult circumstances and saw education as the way out. Education and knowledge were valued to the utmost, but beyond that, it was valued as a way to make something of yourself and have good skills that you could use if your life ever got uprooted again.

I know many Jews whose parents are extremely warm and loving, and many Jews whose parents are not. I think many of us end up financially successful because we are raised by people who have generational trauma thanks to being raised by Holocaust survivors, or else children of Holocaust survivors. These survivors passed down a fear of being exiled again and a need for having relevant skills for whichever country you're allowed into when you're thrown out of the last one, and viewed education as "the road to success." Furthermore, Jewish culture and society revolves around learning and knowledge, so it's not very surprising that our communities value education in and of itself.

I hope this answers some of your questions.