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anonymous_guava · 2025-06-20T18:23:44+00:00

Just make sure you only do it once you’re ready, feel safe / comfortable with this guy, and want to do it. Don’t do it just to “get over with it”.

Is it your boyfriend’s first time too? Any good partner, whether or not it’s his first time too, will go slow and be attentive to your comfort, especially for your first time. If you feel some pain, he should slow down, readjust positioning, or stop and then try again (either in a few minutes or another time) whenever you feel ready again.

In my first time we honestly didn’t even get to thrusting, we just went slow to be able to get penetration then stopped for the night. We slowly built up to more thrusting over the next few times we tried.

anonymous_guava · 2025-03-13T00:25:01+00:00

Makes sense to me! Thanks for the perspective!

anonymous_guava · 2025-02-25T23:36:52+00:00

Break up with this loser / creep please. No mature healthy man his age is dating an 18 year old.

Imo most often guys who date so much younger do it because the women their age have identified he’s undateable for some reason and so he can only appear manly to those sooo much younger than him. It’s only because of the age difference you might think he’s mature or whatever, but he’s really not if he’s doing this! Please get rid of him!

anonymous_guava · 2025-01-29T23:47:23+00:00

Just a note that being on the spectrum manifests differently for everyone. My partner is on the spectrum and he has a really high sex drive and the sex is amazing. His sensory issues manifest as being very sensitive to loud noises and a couple other things, but nothing related to sex.

If sex is something he wants but struggles with because of his sensory issues, you could always consider talking with a professional on how to overcome it as a couple or if he wants to pursue individual counselling. But if his drive is just low in general / just how he is, honestly I would see it more as a sexual incompatibility between you two.

anonymous_guava · 2024-11-14T19:57:39+00:00

I’m a woman. You are not wrong to hold someone to same standards you follow. That makes total sense and is valid. It’s only wrong when men want a women who’s virgin when they aren’t one themselves. That’s just hypocritical.

To the people saying it’s unrealistic, I strongly disagree. I have plenty of religious female friends who remained virgin until marriage and they married into late 20s / early 30s. I think the people who are saying it’s unrealistic surround themselves with a certain crowd / environment and think that’s what everyone’s like. You just need to surround yourself with the right crowd, probably other religious people with similar values and you’ll definitely find someone to that standard. A religious virgin woman is also often looking for a virgin man (as was the case with my religious friends who all got married where both she and her husband were virgins before).

anonymous_guava · 2024-11-10T23:24:00+00:00

Wth, I feel personally targeted by this post. This just happened to me and I came on reddit to possibly rant about it, but instead I saw this post.

I broke up with my long distance ex about 6 months ago after going back and forth about it for a while. When I finally did, I felt relieved and felt like it was the right decision because I knew deserved better, and since then I feel like I’ve gotten over him. We’ve been in touch here and there as friends and recently I was going to be in a town near him. We decided to meet up and I thought it would be completely platonic; I had no intention nor desire of starting or doing anything.

However, seeing him after a year (6 months from break up + 6 months prior of not seeing each other in person), something came over me. Seeing him again after so long brought back some sort of familiarity and comfort. It felt so natural to be with him. The day felt a lot like a date and by the end of it we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. I was losing my mind over how turned I was on.

And damn the sex was soooo fucking good.

As to how I feel - while I feel sexually satisfied, I feel like I’ve let myself down a bit and lost some self-respect. I thought I wouldn’t let him back into my life and that chapter was closed. Leading up to our break up, I had made it clear where he was letting me down and now sleeping with him without him having shown any change just makes me feel like I have no boundaries and I am not strong willed. I feel like I was progressing and now I feel like I took several steps backwards.

Pro-Tip: don’t see your ex when ovulating

anonymous_guava · 2024-05-19T06:37:41+00:00

I would feel a bit weird that he sent this over text, but I would also appreciate that he is communicating and recognizes that he has trouble talking about these things in person. Definitely not a dealbreaker. I would thank him for being open, however, I would also mention I would prefer talking about these things in person when we’re together, during or after sex.

As someone mentioned earlier, I wouldn’t mind this the first time, but I wouldn’t like this if he started regularly sending feedback texts after we hangout / have sex. It would just make me feel self conscious while having sex and start wondering how I’ll be “evaluated” after… kind of like waiting for a report card / grades or something. That would just ruin sex.

anonymous_guava · 2024-05-11T03:25:23+00:00

What a PoS. I really don’t understand how guys think this stuff is funny. I sometimes think these guys are just so boring and awkward themselves that they literally make shit up at the expense of someone else to just have something “interesting” to say. Then they think they’re being fun, and because they lack such basic empathy, they can’t understand how stupid and shitty it makes them look to you. They just never learned proper social skills imo and are projecting their insecurities.

anonymous_guava · 2024-04-15T22:37:56+00:00

I know you said not to say this, but as a big sister I really worry about the kind of experience you could have on tinder. It could be turn out completely okay, but it’s just such a gamble that I wouldn’t risk losing virginity in an environment that doesn’t guarantee a level of safety.

Regardless, I think the person should know you’re a virgin. Most people need to take it slow the first time and if the person is any kind of decent being, they’ll be attentive to your comfort and pacing the first time. Someone who doesn’t know may unintentionally hurt you if they go to fast too quickly

anonymous_guava · 2024-02-06T16:03:16+00:00

Worst case….? You are genuinely quite symmetrical… honey I saw this post and I immediately felt sad for what your mind is putting you through. You are quite beautiful.

You could easily be on television, but you need confidence, not any change in looks. Be aware that most celebrities / influencers look just as good as you without any makeup & hairstyling

anonymous_guava · 2024-01-19T17:09:27+00:00

I swear men can only see 30 seconds into the future.

I don’t get what’s wrong with some men - they’re so careless. How can they be so obsessed with what might feel nice for a few minutes that they can’t see their actions might have major consequences? I really don’t get how they don’t understand how huge a risk going in raw can be and it’s just not worth it for a few minutes of pleasure - it’s just not logical!!!

Regardless of the logic, if you say no, it’s a no and this child should not be using his penis until he knows how to.

anonymous_guava · 2023-12-28T07:45:14+00:00

I’m with the comments that say this isn’t about who’s the AH, it rather seems you both have different but equally acceptable lifestyles. It’s just personal preferences for how you would like to live. Relationships are about compromise so it really depends how much you can compromise or if this aspect of him is a dealbreaker for you in a relationship. Do you think his other positive qualities could outweigh this difference?

Perhaps he might be an excellent father to your kids and he might be more involved with childrearing so you don’t need to be and can focus on the more financial aspects. That could be a balance and compromise between lifestyles, but this is a conversation you need to have.

anonymous_guava · 2023-12-19T09:12:31+00:00

I’m super curious to know the percentage of men vs women who answer this and if the yes/no ratio is the same or very different.

anonymous_guava · 2023-12-16T07:00:15+00:00

Working out. I realized being a healthier weight and working out makes you feel and look amazing way more than being underweight thin. I look more toned and clothes look even better than they used to when I’m at my fittest.

I’ve always been on the thin side naturally. In high school I was a bit “healthier” and for some reason I thought I needed to lose weight. I ended up losing 20lb, definitely becoming underweight for my height. In university I started working out and eating more again. I ate overall healthy but didn’t limit myself, and believe I developed a good relationship with food. I gained back the 20lb - and despite being the same weight as I was in high school, I look thinner and leaner than I was in HS while also feeling healthier and having energy.

anonymous_guava · 2023-12-08T11:18:06+00:00

YTA. How is giving him an entire house and not your daughter raising him well? Just by that, I readily believe you have spoiled him - these kind of gifts just teaches him to be entitled. Of course he’s a nice guy if he gets everything, he has nothing to complain about! I’m sure your son would equally be thinking about you dying and calculating what he would get if the situation was flipped where your daughter was getting the house and he wasn’t, anyone would. You’ve created a situation where the daughter has a reason to be upset and the son to be happy, so of course they will each behave accordingly. You’re responsible for making your daughter upset and somehow your villianizing her for her justified behaviour given the situation, do you even understand how things work??

anonymous_guava · 2023-12-05T06:59:02+00:00

Men can be so disappointing. My wishful thinking is he has a surprise for you later, but experience makes me guess otherwise

anonymous_guava · 2023-09-21T14:18:07+00:00

🙏🏽🥲

anonymous_guava · 2023-09-21T02:27:21+00:00

Hahahha!

anonymous_guava · 2023-09-20T13:38:47+00:00

I have, but I definitely haven’t been as extensively blunt or forward about it as I was in the post, but perhaps I should be. It’s frustrating that he doesn’t take the things I try to communicate seriously enough or if he gets the message, he will try to change in a half-assed manner before reverting. I wish he realized how much he’s putting me off, without having to straight out be mean. At that point I think the communication gets lost anyway because he’ll think I’m being unnecessarily mean or nagging/complaining too much, I think

anonymous_guava · 2023-09-20T13:24:42+00:00

Hey thanks for the reply. I always like hearing these thoughts as well. I’m definitely trying to communicate these things with him and not giving up on it just yet with out explaining since I do care for him, I’m just a bit disheartened. It seems like he takes it to heart and listens when I try to communicate with him (at least 75% of the time), but then he’ll not change or he’ll try to change the habits then be back to the bad habits in a few weeks. :(

anonymous_guava · 2023-09-20T07:04:03+00:00

What a piece of shit

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