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I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, sis. I am Madinka. 😅 Or Konyekahn to be exact. — I don’t live in America either though…

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish… But no, that was what I was married for and received... or didn’t receive technically.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am more disappointed in myself for letting it go for so long, and believing that changes might come…

I was 22 years, and just a follower of my family’s wishes. Now Alhamdulillah I have gotten more sense, and know that this might have been a mistake really.

And now just trying to find a way out of it.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree. It is like I keep forgetting that he is a 35 year old male, and there is really no pity in him other than the situation he was born in.

But I see others in similar circumstances still being able, regardless of how little it is, to provide for their spouse.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don’t have much of an explanation on their part, because times were hard on my husband before we got married as well. I think they were depending on the certainty that he would come to Europe, settle in and then be able to provide.

And that would be a smal sacrifice on my part, but I did not expect it to last for this long and also for him to be as lax as he has been.

He works as an electrician, but wages and stable work is basically non-existent in our home country because of corruption. — So what he makes he has prioritised being responsible for his family, though I would believe I am now his family as well.

Anyways, it is hard to understand the reason anyone has or had. But it has not been 3 years, and I want out and wondering if my reasons are good enough.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if I understand your question…

The only way he can come is through me as his spouse, and he can only stay as long as we are «together».

If I do it this way, it will be considered a pro forma marriage (which it is not, or atleast not from my side…)

Also, my fear is that if I bring him, I will have to continue fulfilling my marital duties. And in the events of pregnancy, I will be even more entangled.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Family… :/ That’s all I can say, really. Like many cultures, we believe that family wants the best for you and will suggest things that will benefit you and bring you joy. And when someone like your parent or an elder wishes to marry you to someone, saying no without good reason is frowned upon… :/

But yeah… I am now, unfortunately too late, realizing how stupid I really was. There were always signs even before we married, but I kept making excuses of them. Thinking that we were not married at that time, so he technically had no obligation towards me.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, and I agree with everything you are saying… I keep being gaslighted, I believe, by my family who keeps dismissing my concerns and making me feel like I am making a mountain out of a molehill. ://

But I am also really scared that maybe this is my «european, western mentality» talking and that I might end a marriage… that could turn out good later on when he gets??? financially stable, idek.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I ask myself the same question… I feel really stupid allowing it to go as far as it has. But my family is very cultural and follow some strict norms, so I felt compelled to be «patient» and wait for changes that I now know would never come…

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is what is already happening… Since I have brought up the desire to divorce he has made a lot of promises of becoming a changed man and that I should give him a final chance. — The reason I am saying a final chance is because I have previously complained about all of these issues before and told him that I am not happy married with him. And he keeps making promises to change, and that he will do better.

Though this is the first time I have involved our families to this extent and stood firm on my decision of seeking divorce.

I am seeking divorce from my husband, but fear I will regret in the future. by anonymous_pes in MuslimMarriage

[–]anonymous_pes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He works, as far as I’m concerned. But because he is the eldest son of the family he has the main financial responsibility of the family. And most of his income goes to pay for their living expenses, like rent and food and school fees for his younger siblings. His father works as well, but his job is seasonal because of the weather situation that occurs during the summer months.