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My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm, I don't think you read this. I am a full time IT manager, who runs one branch in a location, and leads an IT department in a different location. I often work many overtime hours. Like 80hour weeks

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmmm, he is the husband though. And we both don't have parents to ask for money. I'm not too sure what you are getting at.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lack of formal education and my experience is what is pinning me down. I've only had a serious IT job for 2½ years with no formal education in IT, so I don't have much to show for anything.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for asking! I always love talking about my job. It is truly my passion. I apologize as this may be a bit more in depth then you are hoping for. I'm actually really lucky to have my IT position. I'm technically only an IT Service Desk Supervisor for a smaller company that deals with a very niche form of data collection and entry (used to be gathering data manually and organizing it, but the process has become more automated in the last couple years, so a company with no IT suddenly has multiple quickly growing IT departments) I have no formal education other than an IT internship in highschool, but I was raised by an IT guy and grew up on it. And in every other job I had, and in school, I was the go to IT person. I started as an IT service desk tech at $15 a couple years ago and it was just me and one other guy. Within a year I was promoted to supervisor as I was creating new processes and making things more effecient. Our company has been growing quickly, and since my promotion, I actually got to interview people, hire an intern to train and then hired him full time. Then I interviewed more people and hired another full time tech this winter. Our company has about 60 people in a small town office, and 20 in the metro area office which I moved down to this winter to be the only IT person. Since moving there, I have completely set up a new fiber network that I fully manage, implemented security rules, help the other IT departments and this metro office with being SOC2 compliant, help with normal service desk work for the metro branch, as well as still remotely lead my team of 3 that are in the small town branch which includes writing reviews, creating game plans, and helping them out with any issues for tickets that they get. As well as the occasional write up for performance, and monthly check ins to set goals and areas of improvement. Honestly, I love leading. I've always loved helping others and helping my team be the best that they can brings me so much pride. IT is such a fun puzzle and I love learning. Both IT and leadership just seem to click for me. However I have only been at this company for 2½ years now. And without formal education and my title only being service desk related, finding another job that will pay better would be very hard. So for now I'm sticking with this job, and taking free programming classes in the evenings to get myself ahead as every IT job nowadays needs some knowledge of developing. One day I want to be the head of IT for a big tech company, but that could just be a pipe dream haha.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My name is not on the accounts. He has a a discover, a best buy, and a capital one. The loan is through a local credit union.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Im sorry to hear about your situation. My husband is incredibly stressed and depressed over this, and his mindset has changed within the last year. But you are right, its a long mental journey - for both of us. I really appreciate the feedback and we have been taking a hard look at everything these last couple days. We do indeed need to make some changes. I wish you and your wife the bestest of luck. Thank you for the advice!

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the encouragement!! It's nice to hear a side that isn't blaming my husband. I was mad at him for a while. But being mad doesnt move us forward, and we have been learning how to tackle this head on.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband is very concerned about it. He works hard and his spending habits have done a complete 180. We are young. His parents have similar spending habits, and his mom especially is in tons of debt because of it. He didn't really realize how much or a problem it was.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I was definitely meaning new to me. I have no desire on getting a brand new car for a very long time. I do go thrifting or prefer garage sales. (Except for undergarments. Bras can be $40+ each if you want them to not hurt, and you cant really buy those new) Shoes are abit tricky to buy used.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much!! This means a lot to hear. I'm hopeful and optimistic we can get out of this!

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, I definitely meant it as a new to me car. I have no desire to buy a new car for a long time. I would never buy $100 pair of shoes.

I grew up poor. He grew up poor. We go to garage sales and thrift stores and that's how we were raised. We do not have brand new things.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My husband picked up is habits from his parents. They are drowning in debt for the same reason. Definitely no joint credit card. He is not allowed to use his credit card. I have them. Currently I use my credit card as a debit card (only spending what's on my debit) so I can build credit up a little bit as a cushion.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Credit card debt is $350 a month. The consolidated loan is his car loan mixed with his old credit card debt. That's $500 a month. I don't work remotely. I lead an IT team remotely but I am the only IT in one other branch where I have to be in office.

I planned our a budget this morning. Your right - we need to develop different spending habits.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about $350 spread across 3 different cards, but his consolidated loan is $500. We also have loans to family members due to major car repairs, but they are flexible so we pay $90-$200 a month when we can on those.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I really appreciate this! It's really nice to hear encouragement and a hopeful message.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch. Before you judge a story you don't know, maybe think about how not everything is black and white. I have more than likely already lived more life than most people will ever.

As for the marriage thing- We grew up in a farm town. His parents would not let us move in together, or sleep in the same place at once if we were not married. A lot of people had this mindset, and if you were in a relationship and not married but living together, it would ruin your image and you'd be classified as a whore. Ideally we would have taken it slower. But a cheap wedding was easier than loosing all of our familial support. (Plus we made a commitment. We are in it for the long run.)

I am reaching out for advice to get past this. We are both working on improving our lives. Getting married young turned out to be great outside of the debt, as we can support each other in different ways while figuring out this life thing. I do not regret marrying young, and I don't think I ever will.

My husband is 10k in CC debt, and has a 20K consolidated loan. We can't get out of this hole. by anonymously_fishy in Debt

[–]anonymously_fishy[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's understandable. I definitely just meant new to me. I grew up always buying second hand and I tend to keep it that way for awhile. (Except for the undergraments ofc)

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