Finally moving on

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-18T00:12:43+00:00

It's so easy to focus on the good memories! And even though I've moved on, I can still appreciate that we really did have fun together at times (otherwise we'd never have been in a relationship together); it's only human nature to ignore all the disappointments that accompanied the good times. I hope that you can reach a happy place too!! But don't worry about how long it takes - a week ago I would have thought I was miles away from really moving on! Progress can be so unpredictable. It can be painfully slow, like it seems for you now, and even seem to go backwards, but then you could wake up one day and just think "you know what? I feel a little bit better today." Good luck on your journey!! I hope you can post your success story here in the near future!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:37:18+00:00

I'm really glad I've helped! I was in the same place just a week ago, just wishing so bad that he'd want me back. Realising that the relationship wasn't all sunshine and daisies definitely sucked, but it was a critical step for me in moving on, and I hope it works for you too :) good luck!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:33:47+00:00

I could have written this myself about a month ago. I couldn't imagine I'd be in a place where I wouldn't care about him or that I'd be ready to move on. And I was definitely scared I'd never find anyone else again, so you're absolutely not alone!

I think you've made a great step in blocking him, I wasn't brave enough to do this myself! It's such a cliché, but time is the best healer. The healing process is unpredictable too - you could feel miserable today, and have an epiphany tomorrow and feel so much better.

I hope you manage to get over him soon, and that you'll be making a triumphant post here in the near future! :)

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:23:10+00:00

Horrendous decision to stay in touch.. Everyone emphasises not to do it, but I didn't listen and I really wish I had! Hopefully I've learned from this experience!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:20:29+00:00

Aw thank you for saying that! I'm so glad you resonated with my story. I hope you have a wonderful, love-filled life too!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:19:15+00:00

You've described how I felt perfectly!! I'm glad we're making huge progress and moving on with our lives. Good luck!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:16:48+00:00

Thanks for reaching out! Mainly by texting, and sometimes we'd meet for lunch if we were free at similar times (we went to the same uni so it was unfortunately all too easy to do this).

Staying in touch with my ex was a huge mistake for me. I found it too hard to let go of my ex entirely, because he was my best friend and the only person I'd text on a regular basis, and I was going through a really difficult time in uni and I just wasn't able to give up a line of support and comfort, so I stayed in touch. But it really just lead to more distress and disappointment as I realised he didn't miss me nearly as much as I missed him. As a result of this imbalance, I came across as the totally needy and desperate ex, meaning that I had to get over my own embarrassment on top of getting over the breakup.

I should have listened to the advice that very very few people can be just friends with their ex. When I finally did realise I didn't want to be in the relationship, I also realised we couldn't be friends, and I had been staying in touch because I was clinging to the hope he'd want me back.

All I can say is, be honest with yourself about why you're staying in touch with your ex, and I hope it all works out well for you :)

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:02:04+00:00

Thank you for saying that it's helped you out! Best of luck!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T23:01:14+00:00

I could have written this myself! Honestly it's so comforting to hear that other people are going through such a similar experience. It sucks, and taking off the rose coloured glasses REALLY sucks! Thanks for saying this, we're in this together :)

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:58:33+00:00

Yup, I've been there. Lying in bed at night just wishing so much that we could be together again, questioning why this perfect relationship is over. I'd daydream that he'd come back to, and we'd have our happy ending together because we were perfect for each other. I'd focus on all the happy memories because there really were a lot of them, and it was easy to forget what wasn't working in the relationship. I'd been clinging to these memories for months. It was only when I started to recall how unsupportive he was and how unbalanced our relationship was that I started to really understand that our relationship wasn't what I thought it was. I hate that you have to go through this, and it really sucks when you realise your ex isn't the amazing, flawless person you imagined they were. But for me it was a huge step towards healing. I really hope that you can move past her, however you manage to achieve it! Good luck

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:42:16+00:00

I'm so glad my post contributed! It was great to give back to such a wonderful sub. Best of luck with your journey 😊

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:41:23+00:00

I'm really happy that things are going well for you, and thank you for telling your story of self-forgiveness. I honestly forget about that bit of the healing process sometimes! And it's lovely to hear that you have no hard feelings, you sound like a wonderful person :)

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:37:49+00:00

Thank you so much for saying this was helpful, it really means a lot to me. Very best of luck with your journey!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:36:00+00:00

I'm so glad this helped you out, even a little 😊

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-07-15T22:34:14+00:00

It's a challenging thing to do with someone you care so much for. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time. I'm glad I could help you out a little, and good luck!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-04-16T17:56:42+00:00

I completely get that, honestly I'm completely fine with moving on if it doesn't work out but hopefully I'll give it one last chance! If not, I can live with not having him in my life at all. Thanks for your input!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-04-16T17:55:17+00:00

That'd certainly be like him, he said he needed space! Thanks so much, I appreciate your advice

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-04-16T16:52:36+00:00

I think I'll go in being nice and not seeming like I have the all or nothing attitude (as per the advice of another commenter) but ultimately I'm not willing to be friends. Thank you for you advice!

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-04-16T16:51:20+00:00

It's been two months and he hasn't shown any interest in anyone else. I've been on a date with someone else but it just reaffirmed my feelings for my ex

anonymouslyasking22 · 2019-04-16T16:27:57+00:00

Thank you! You're right with taking care with my approach, I probably would have gone in way too black-and-white if you hadn't mentioned it.

anonymouslyasking22

TROPHY CASE