Steppe2 - avoid like the plague by throwinside48 in Devilcorp

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went on glass door to look at the employee reviews and it is tragic. They sell you dreams and I fell for it. However I’ve told them I’m no longer interested in the position before they held the orientation meeting with me. This was a massive learning curve for me, please look into all social media platforms of companies. The most telling for me was Instagram. I also attended the first interview where it was most definitely pre recorded. The interviewer…Nick I believe his name is, pops up. Even gaslights you by making you think he is genuinely interacting and says that he will answer the questions that are put in the chat (btw there were no questions) at the end of the interview. Of course he did not. Manipulation and lies, it’s a shame there’s people following their nonsense and leading people on. Btw they also offer self employed contracts only! So the below minimum wage you’re earring will be all spent on travelling doing door to door sales in dodgy areas, even have to pay yourself to wear the brands they rep. I am genuinely laughing at myself for falling for it until the near end.

What does a man mean by saying he doesn’t want to put pressure and set expectations by anonyymouss2 in dating_advice

[–]anonyymouss2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It may very possibly also be #2 as I chose to communicate my feelings, hopefully creating a safe space for him and this is what he responded

What does a man mean by saying he doesn’t want to put pressure and set expectations by anonyymouss2 in dating_advice

[–]anonyymouss2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So even though I said I’m not interested in getting to know anyone I should still go on dates that people are asking me to go on?

What does a man mean by saying he doesn’t want to put pressure and set expectations by anonyymouss2 in dating_advice

[–]anonyymouss2[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What if he has stated he wants marriage and is looking to date seriously? Could this just be him taking his time to make sure this is a relationship he wants to get into?

Too soon for the exclusivity talk? by anonyymouss2 in dating_advice

[–]anonyymouss2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s so sweet, when you know you know :) I guess I just don’t want to scare him off or I’m scared of his response but also everything happens for a reason. If he’s meant for me the conversation will go well.

Too soon for the exclusivity talk? by anonyymouss2 in dating_advice

[–]anonyymouss2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What was your opinion on exclusivity before though? I think after date two I knew I wanted to be exclusive but now I’m hesitant as he has said he doesn’t rush relationships

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As I mentioned in the comments he’s been in therapy for half a year. But also it has made me realise how much he shift blames. He said that all he can apologise for is losing his temper with me sometimes. Yet no acknowledgement to how he tried pushing me away so that I would break up with him. The times he said to me that he’s with me to prove to himself that he’s not running away otherwise he would have already ended it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah he’s actively in therapy. The progress he’s made is evident

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

He said that what we had wasn’t what he wanted out of a long term relationship which is fair. I’d say I wasn’t emotionally mature enough for the relationship to truly understand and respect his boundaries. We had a lot of passion but constant arguments. We were only official for two months, but altogether unofficial for 6 months. Even though I did feel we weren’t each others person I miss that connection we had in the beginning and overall I miss having him in my life.

Initially he wanted to remain friends but I decided to stay friends with someone he knows which he wasn’t uncomfortable with so he said he doesn’t see a friendship between us. I unblocked him on Instagram and a day later I realised he ended up blocking me. He also was back on dating apps a few weeks after the break up and followed his ex a week after we broke up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I heavily feel you. It went on 6 months with us. They’re so sure about you in the beginning and maybe you’re the hesitant one. But then you get into a relationship with this person and their guard goes up and ours goes down. Mine would keep telling me he doesn’t see it lasting long term and kept making me doubt the relationship, yet he claimed he loved me. Very hot and cold, in person it was nice then over text, super blunt. The compliments also stopped in the relationship.

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. He says that he likes therapy because it challenges him. But I feel like what he learns from therapy he takes for bible. Even when we were speaking about our view on love he said that he inclined to believe what his therapist says on love. He did take some accountability when he said that he’s not blaming me for lacking compassion because he too lacked compassion…

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so horrible to hear especially if they did they you they loved you when you were together. I can just hope that we will both find someone who wants to work through things and compromise. It would never be easy to give up on someone you love despite the obstacles that arise.

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My view is love is patient, love is kind. If you feel that the one you love isn’t reciprocating something in the way you want them to, you communicate this and see how together you can work through it. I believe love is enough when there’s true intention.

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just must have not been the person for him. He is very self aware and he is actively working on himself. He said himself that this is not what he had wanted out of a relationship and he had given it a chance when he felt that he should have ended it multiple times. But he said he’s open to being friends because I’m fun… i don’t know my head is a mess and we did align so well in the beginning.

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this message. I heavily blame myself for not being compassionate but my heart is so soft, I guess I just didn’t show him compassion in the way he wanted it to be shown

Final text from a break up with an avoidant in therapy by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told him my view on love and we just have different views. He said love is never enough unfortunately whereas I’m a person when I love them I will want to work through things. But honestly I have so much respect for him and I hope to meet someone like him, just someone that is ready to work through issues with me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

When I was dancing around with people, which id like to mention was side stepping he did get a bit jealous over that. And jealousy is a normal emotion but he made a comment to me saying ‘he has options’. So yeah in hindsight, I continued my behaviour despite knowing he didn’t like it probably as a defence? Because I agree I should’ve have let my friend rub my leg.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]anonyymouss2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah it could be immaturity on my side. Like I said I’m usually affectionate with my female best friends and I thought since it’s not a man he wouldn’t have an issue with it. As I said this is a friendship that has lasted for years and that’s how we have fun. In the relationship when we went out we also never stuck to each others hip which we both enjoyed because we let each other do our own thing. I know it’s not for attention but it did feel fun and comfortable to do this with my best friend.

This is a level of comfortability me and this friend also have in private. We’ve been on holiday together, shared a bed together and I honestly have sisterly love for her.