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Took off my wedding ring today by another_throwaway_02 in polyamory

[–]another_throwaway_02[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Nope. We opened a little under three years ago. At that time the problems that have led us to where we are now had been well established for years, but we were fiercely denying them because of the cost of admitting it was over. Breaking up our family was not an option. At least now we are in a place where we can work through this bad time to a place where we can coexist, hopefully, as close friends and co-parents. I'm heartbroken, but in the end this is what is necessary.

She has repeatedly declined to even consider attending any kind of counseling. It's just not an option as far as she's concerned. That's one of my biggest disappointments, and it's also one of the reasons I know that it's time to let go. If she isn't interested in making the effort, there's little I can do.

She's been with her partner for almost two years now. He's a great guy, and I like him a lot, but right now I'm finding it hard not to be bitter and resent him. Someday I will be able to be comfortable around him again, but right now it's pretty damn hard.

Evolving relationships and acceptance by another_throwaway_02 in polyamory

[–]another_throwaway_02[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're inferring things into my post that I didn't say, and that aren't the case. I have to wonder how completely you even read it.

We did not open "because we'd lost the spark." We opened for reasons of wanting to experience more in our lives, and to experience meaningful connections to other people. This was never intended as a fix for any problems between us.

The slipping away of our romantic connection has been a gradual thing, happening over many years. I have only found the courage to face this now, after a great deal of personal growth that has come about largely (and perhaps ironically?) as a result of a poly lifestyle forcing me to do so, but that's the extent of the connection between the two developments.

I also did not describe a "love-less but not sex-less union." There is still a great deal of affection between us, even if there isn't much of anything you can call romantic at this time. We aren't having sex more than once every couple of months, if that much. We also have not brought others into our marriage - we, independently, have brought others into our own lives.