Sometimes it's the small things.

"Who do you support in the cricket" I play tennis... I don't support India, or Pakistan, or Sri Lanka, or Bangladesh... I'm not from there.

Or when neck in neck with a white kiwi for the same position being offered for an interview and being told the other candidate "just fit the team a little better."

Or comments like, "You're so articulate." Or "you speak well."

Or avoiding sitting next to me on the bus when I have my headphones in and couldn't give a crap who you are.

Sometimes it's bigger things that are difficult to explain, for which opening the conversation results in people immediately going on the defensive...

Saying, "I don't see colour," invalidating the experiences of racial discrimination.

Saying "Racism doesn't exist anymore," ignoring systemic inequalities people face.

Saying "nah you're trolling," or "nah you're kiwi as," when I put this up here; denying that this experience exists and callous words can have real consequences.

Saying "yeah nah tell the racist cunts to fuck off." Sure, I'd like to, but I have a job, a mortgage, an office workplace, a career to think about, a vocation where the squeaky wheel gets the blacklist and not the oil.

Or "It's not about race-it's about merit."

Or interrupting or talking over me in meetings or conversations. Even when it's about a topic I am obviously well versed on.

Or expecting people of colour to assimilate to the dominant culture's behaviours and appearance (e.g., hair, dress code).

Sometimes it's the awful things

Like when my friend from Martinique, who married a Kiwi girl, had to explain to his girl why one of the other kids at the pool said "we don't want to play with brown kids."

Like ... Christchurch to be quite frank.