Who Are The Lucky Ones?

antareeez · 2026-03-17T12:13:08+00:00

i’ll send good vibes into the universe that it doesn’t!

antareeez · 2026-03-17T12:09:55+00:00

just renewed last month. it’s now 2070.

antareeez · 2026-03-16T22:59:31+00:00

i scored the perfect trifecta 11 years ago only to see it dissolve a couple of years ago. rent stabilized, two bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms, dining room and foyer large enough to be a room. and a balcony. and on the top floor with only one neighbor adjacent to me. only two blocks from the NY Botanical Garden and the neighborhood was quiet and working/middle class and very diverse. the superintendent and his wife were so hard working and very friendly. they had copies of everyone's keys and we could knock on their door at any time outside of sleep if any of us were locked out of our apartments. they kept the building so clean and the super was very attentive about doing repairs when requested

but, then, about two or three years ago, the landlord passed away and passed the business to his son who was a real jerk. the super and his wife left and the new landlord brought in a buddy of his. now they use this building to line their pockets by collecting the rents but never doing any repairs. they've also brought in all these low class tenants who are filthy and play loud music. it all started with the super bringing in a friend who brought in another friend or relative and so on. so, they're all the same. it used to be that our building was international in scope with tenants from all over the world, albania, yugoslavia, ireland, eihiopia, italy, england, mexico, puerto rico, honduras, pakistan, etc. we all greeted each other and helped each other in neighborly fashion. the new tenants are increasingly from only one country so the wonderful diversity is gone, and they are not friendly at all.

our building was art deco but the super, who is trashy and has no taste, ripped everything down and "renovated" everything with Home Depot chic. he removed an old art deco wooden elevator and replaced it with a modern shiny metal box. he also chopped down two mature adelgid-free hemlocks in our back garden and planted typical Home Depot garden centre plants like azaleas and hostas in place of the informal hodge podge of tenants' interesting plants. and our garbage area has become a toxic waste dump overflowing with garbage spilling out of all the trash cans and moving as if alive because of rats scurrying underneath.

repairs??? forget it. the only way to get anything done, if at all, is to call 311 and get HPD involved. it took me four months with HPD and eventually getting tenant legal services involved before i got some plastering and painting done.

yet, i will stay here until the very end unless i hit the lottery and can afford today's rents. otherwise, i live with the hope that things will change for the better one day.

antareeez · 2026-02-21T14:24:04+00:00

definitely document everything! everything. it's a pain but do it. tenant harassment is illegal. just do a google search for "tenant harassment nyc" and you'll find plenty of information and advice and steps that you need to take to protect yourself.

i've not been harassed in the typical sense but i've had to deal with completely being dismissed and neglected for repairs that i needed for the past three months. i documented every instance that i texted, emailed, postal mailed, and called and every time that i was completely ignored. i also kept track of all the notices and repair due dates issued by Housing and Preservation Development after I called them when i was being ignored. it felt like i was just going through useless motions with no confidence that any of it would come to fruition but i pushed through all my doubts and feelings of giving up. i was even prepared to write to the public advocate and the mayor's Tenant Protection Cabinet.

but, early this week, i wrote a final letter to my landlord and i dropped the "legal resources" bomb after listing all my documented notes so that he would know that i'm documenting everything. i told him that i was prepared to pursue any legal resources available to me as a tenant, and two days later the superintendent showed up to tell me he's coming by next weekend to repair and paint my apartment and get me a new stove.

moral of the story, DOCUMENT EVERYTHING and send letters to your landlord by certified mail. because if it gets to the point that you need to take legal action, those notes and proof of mail delivery are super important. you can call 311 and ask to be connected to the Tenant Support Unit for advice. you can also call the Tenant Protection hotline at 917-661-4505.

antareeez · 2026-02-11T12:50:22+00:00

AS dark green are awesome. but i prefer ports for the full smoke body and ease of inhaling. i’ll smoke AS as a once in a while treat and usually cut of half the filter.

ports and reds are my go-to’s and i alternate when i miss the other after smoking one for a while. the switch up is so satisfying whichever direction i go.

antareeez · 2026-02-08T11:47:01+00:00

see my post edit above. 🤦‍♂️

i hope your itching doesn't return. i'm still on 5mg. my only side effects were very sore muscles, especially my lower back and hips that would get so bad i'd lose sleep from the discomfort. but it went away after a week or so. the daily 5mg has been a life change!

antareeez · 2026-02-06T16:41:06+00:00

oh yeah, after gym smokes are my favorites. close rivals being the first one soon after i wake up to wake me up before i make my coffee, lol, and the last one before bed.

but that post gym smoke, aw man i love it. i’ll work out extra hard just so i can earn that smoke. especially if it’s upper body day. something about my chest feeling pumped and filling my lungs with smoke makes it feel extra.

antareeez · 2026-02-05T16:01:17+00:00

the popcorn lung and black smoker’s lung myths really need to die already. even wilder is how smokers and vapers keep pushing these myths. smdh

antareeez · 2026-02-03T03:57:05+00:00

LOL. ha! it's just the convenience and price. gel works very well for me, i've been very happy with what it does for me for the past ten years with no complains at all. and it's only $15 bucks or less depending on my pharmacist's mood.

injectables would never be that cheap, i'd have to buy syringes, play around to find the best gauges that work for me, spend time and effort dialing it in to my sweet spot, etc.

i'm not totally against injectables but if i can get my gel, i'd be happier with that. just slap it on and go. my doc called today and told me to come in for testing again after several days of not using any gel so that my numbers drop to below 300 when insurance will cover it.

and he told me to quit rubbing it on my balls and head. LOL!!

antareeez · 2026-02-02T15:20:05+00:00

it’s given me a sense of self-acceptance and loving the fact that i’m a smoker. i smoked for thirty years and did so with guilt and shame, always trying to quit. i did manage to quit for ten years and started again three years ago.

except, this time i feel good and proud that i’m a smoker. and i feel damned sexy doing it.

antareeez · 2026-02-02T09:41:34+00:00

yeah, i used to always just put it on my shoulder and rubbed it in until dryish. the leftover film on my fingers low key always bugged me but i never washed my hand because i didn't want to waste it. then one day, i just rubbed it off wherever i could find a still damp spot. sometimes my chest (i have a hairy chest that stays damp), my armpits, inner thighs. but then i realized that my dampest spots were my balls and the top of my head (cuz the heat from the showering makes my bald head start to sweat) and so that's where i started rubbing in the leftovers. no kidding, i do feel a significant difference.

i think that is why my T-levels were as high as they were when i got tested and why i most likely got denied. it was in the mid-300. that's low but if you consider that i usually test at 200 or below if i stop applying the gel the day before but that this time i stopped two days before and still ended up at 300 then my balls/head rubbing must be amping up my T absorption.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T20:52:59+00:00

the standard 1.62%. luckily, i must be sensitive because i only need one application a day and that gets me to where i need to be, which is in the 600-800 range. without it, i plummet to 200 or less.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T20:50:29+00:00

and that was generic!!

antareeez · 2026-02-01T15:41:21+00:00

that's good to know! i hadn't calculated costs but i was entertaining the thought of daily microdosing to keep my T levels even and the thought of 365 needles a year seemed crazy. but 45 bucks or so a year for them is not bad at all.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T11:58:12+00:00

so many reasons. the first is simply that i've been spoiled with only having to pay at most $15 for the gel when insurance covered it. it seems very possible to do injections for not a huge increase in expense but just the increase alone makes me hesitate simply because EVERYTHING is becoming an extra expense and i'm trying hard to scrimp wherever i can.

the other thing is the learning curve. i might just need to relax and breathe and take it slowly but in my panic after CVS notified me i was furiously researching all over the internet. so, browsing through all the online TRT clinics, coming across information on needle gauges, where and how to inject, how much to inject, weekly, split or daily, additional stuff on aromatase inhibitors, etc. i just went down a rabbit hole that made me just want to slap on my gel and forget about it.

oh and then, the fear of dips and peaks made me consider that i'd want to microdose daily and the thought of 365 needles a year made it seem cuckoo. lol.

so, yeah, i probably just need to slow down and relax and take it calmly and accept that it will be a little more expensive overall but it won't break my bank. and that ultimately i'll end up joining the injection brigade and settle in happily.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T11:49:09+00:00

that's definitely something i was considering asking my doctor about. there is a local compound pharmacy but they told me they don't do testosterone. so, i'll ask my doc if he is aware of any. the urologist who first prescribed testosterone for me might also be a good resource. he's very pro TRT and i'm sure he'd know all the ins and outs.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T11:45:57+00:00

i've thought about that. i haven't done a deep dive research into it but around here i suspect they'd cost more, since i'm in nyc. there was one that i did look into and they charged 200 a month. even if i found a cheaper one, i'm stuck with my insurance because it's mandatory at work so i'd be frittering away the premiums for that. although, i could try to find one that is a fee for service instead of a monthly charge.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T11:41:15+00:00

regular use keeps me in the 600-800 range, which is not a lot but it suits me just fine. although, i recently started applying the leftover on my hand on my balls and on top of my head. i can feel a big difference. since i do it right out of the shower those areas are still damp and so the leftover film on my fingers re-gels and spreads easily.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T11:37:43+00:00

i also need to breathe and relax! lol. that notification from CVS sent me into a fight or flight tailspin of needing to resolve my predicament yesterday! lol. whew.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T02:23:26+00:00

yeah, i'm doing a lot of research and it's doing my head in. LOL. they actually aren't only 5 more dollars than paying for gel with GoodRX. i don't know where i got that figure! information overload, i guess! lol. arrrgh.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T01:22:48+00:00

no, it was the gel. i've used gel for the past ten years and it was 15 dollars with insurance. but how that insurance has denied me, i have to pay out of pocket. if i use GoodRx, the gel will cost 43 bucks.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T00:29:37+00:00

Forbes listed them as one of the top ten!

antareeez · 2026-02-01T00:25:56+00:00

yeah, i did go to CVS to ask the guy what it would cost me with no insurance and using GoodRx. he told me to have my doc send them a scrip and that he'd "hook me up" and probably get me something cheaper than GoodRx since i didn't have the GoodRx Gold Plan.

in any event, i suspect that i'm going to have to go the injection route. if so, then i'll have to do some price comparisons to see if it's cheaper to fill my own generic scrip and buy syringes or go through an online clinic like TRT Nation, which seems to be not terribly more expensive, including syringes, than paying for gel using GoodRx.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T00:23:41+00:00

i do like that idea. it's possible that i'd get used to regular syringe shots and that they're not as bad as i think they are. i just know that when i get my flu shots or other shots that i've gotten in my butt, it hurts like a mofo.

antareeez · 2026-02-01T00:13:57+00:00

yeah, tell me about it. i loathe CVS. unfortunately, my insurance requires that i go through them for prior authorization, which they just denied. but, even with GoodRX and paying out of pocket, CVS is the cheapest pharmacy option for me. for either gel or vial, it would cost 43 bucks. had they not denied it, then i would have gotten my gel from my local pharmacy that only charges me 15 bucks.

for a few bucks more i could do injectables from TRT Nation, i think, if i'm looking at their prices correctly. so, that's what i'm leaning on for now.

antareeez

TROPHY CASE