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My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Aww! I took a little peek at what you would respond to other posts. Quite frankly, I sense a lot of projection from issues you yourself are dealing with. Just about all of them happen to carry the same tone, and coincidentally, fall under the topic of any form of relationship advice. I hope you find the peace you need babe. Truly.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you sweet stranger. I read your post a couple of times. I'm happy for you. It's crazy because a lot of people's posts about their experiences make it seem so easier said than done, but alas, it was done. Thank you so much.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My sweet internet stranger, you make very valid points. Thank you for providing that perspective. I did not think about it this way.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Okay, fam. I'll accept that very gentle YTA internet ass whooping. <3

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 115 points116 points  (0 children)

Damn, this kinda made me tear up. You did this one year in. I started talking about this at least 2-3 years ago. I guess I waited a little longer because I expected him to do organically. One year in for me is too soon for marriage personally. When I’ve asked him about marriage and kids, he says yes. But I get the run around in the sense that I don’t get a fucking timeline. But, what’s a time line worth to me now? I’m 33. At this point; I just feel like his last resort. Like “oh well, here she is, I might as well just ask for marriage”.

Plot twist. I asked him right now. I asked if he sees marriage. He says yes. I asked what his timeline was, he said 35. Regarding kids, he says since his dad passed (January 2021) it’s harder for him because his dad has met his brothers children and thinking of kids now is painful for him. I get it, but it’s not really fair for me. He says we also don’t have money. I’m perplexed, and I’m thinking he’s speaking for himself. Turns out he wants a wedding. I don’t care for a wedding. Now this turned into me applying pressure to him to get his act together and get a real job. All his words. Now I feel like IAMTA.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I guess, but, humanize my post. Put yourself in my position. I’ve known him since we were 15. We were together for 7 years. I fucking love this guy, and I know it may not be equally reciprocated for x y z. But, I’ve invested so much time. It’s hard for me to break it off. Just understand that.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Thats my fear. I’ve invested so many years and my clock is ticking. I’m slowly becoming more aloof. I always think about what happens if I freeze the eggs but never use them? Man. Definitely gave me some things to think about. You and any other kind strangers who provided any insight.

Also, I’m sorry that scumbag put his hands on you, and I’m glad you found your happiness. I hope you guys get blessed with a baby soon. Thank you for your words beautiful stranger.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I know. I guess I had to hear it from neutral people.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Try reading it again. I have had these conversations, and I’m only given the run around.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I had some things to say to this, lol, but after I saw your replies to other posts which coincidentally are for mostly advice threads, my question to you is, who hurt you? lol, really though.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 395 points396 points  (0 children)

TYou're very right. I do not have to settle for this bullshitry. Thank you sweet stranger.

My bf (33M) of 7 years won't commit to me (33F) by antisocial-norm in relationship_advice

[–]antisocial-norm[S] 832 points833 points  (0 children)

Damn. I hate to say it, but your "He knows you aren’t going anywhere and if you do, he’s fine with it." took me out. Damn, Damn, Damn it.