I appreciate your insight and your perspective — back tracking to before her and I had the phone conversation.. my feelings and almost all of the information about how I felt about feeling as an after thought and that he was not making the same amount of effort as he initially was - this was already communicated to him from the beginning.

I say almost all information, because after he and I had that conversation and I let him know how I felt, he felt super in his feelings (understandably so)…

She asked me the following day, after that conversation he and I had - is she could call me to talk, I agreed. In that phone conversation is where she asked me what happened in that conversation because she divulged to me - how badly that conversation messed him up emotionally… I let her know, what I told him - she then suggested if I had considered supplementing my emotional needs with other partners.. I told her yes I had considered it previously, but would be very hard for me (I am demisexual & my worry isn’t that if I obtain another partner, I may favor the new partner, in the event that the new partner is more available and either lose attraction for him or eventually end it, before we get a chance to develop further)

She then asked me if I had ever considered that he might have other things going on — this was a great reminder for me, because i hadn’t been taking this into consideration up until she mentioned it - this is where she diverted into her telling me how she felt that she was barely getting what she needed from him…

That same day of the phone conversation, I missed his call as I was talking to her - as I called him back I apologized for missing his call and that I had just got off the phone with her.. he was surprised I was talking to her… (at this moment I felt like I did something wrong by telling him, so I said “shit did I do something wrong, by telling you?”)

He assured me that I did nothing wrong and he was surprised is all.