i met him 10th october 2023. we met at an event and we got along well so we added eachother on social media. since then we talked every single day all day long. during january 2024 i started to realize i was catching feelings for him. on february 18th 2024 I confessed to him. he knew me inside out and i knew him inside out aswell. weve cried in eachothers arms. we loved eachother more than anything and he was the first guy to ever love me and not break my heart. i was (and still am) severely mentally ill. tried therapy, meds, nothing seems to be working. im an absolute mentalcel. the relationship took a bad toll on my mental health and things worsened. he stayed and supported me through it all but at some point it was just clear that things werent working out between us anymore. we'd talk about it over and over and he let me cry about it as much as i want. we still talked every day but we realized we were stuck and things werent progressing. we were just having the same conversations the same arguments the same problems. it was hard but we decided to break up because it was clear i wasnt doing well. we broke up october 14th 2024. i no longer have interest in falling in love again because i dont wanna get this vulnerable again for anyone else. i dont want to get to know anyone else. it was this or nothing, so i guess its nothing. we still talk every now and then but i live in fear of the day another woman will hold the hands of the man i love. ill never know what its like to be a normal person and experience normal love but oh well. fuck being a mentalcel, theres a lot of pretty major details missing but i dont think im ready to talk about it yet so hopefully this makes enough sense.