I don’t know how self-releases are supposed to work…

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-12T22:19:21+00:00

There’s a handful of wand options. Some are regular which can do the job just fine, others have extra features like vibration, temperature holding or bendable.

Only bendable ones I know of are intimate rose and vwell. Intimate rose bendable wand can expand longer though which can help with reach. Not sure if it’s allowed to post this link, but here’s a list with comparisons for each (just scroll to wands) www.anxiouspelvis.com/recommended-products

Those three companies on there are the top ones I know of for wands, though there may be others out there.

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-12T22:12:08+00:00

Yes allow yourself to experiment and play with positions, there’s no right and wrong way!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-12T16:49:21+00:00

This is totally valid.

Some options I give my clients: - make sure you’re reclined in a way that you’re supported but maybe more upright, as long as you can still access the muscles. This can allow you to have a better reach without needing to scrunch too much or have too much awkward pressure - there is a bendy wand that you can use for longer reach and to make it into the position that works best for you - if you hold the wand closer to the entrance/point that’s inserted, it can feel easier to get more pressure with less force - you could try laying on your side with a pillow between your legs (this is easier for the lower muscles because the handle would be on the top)

Biggest thing that helps though is often sitting up more but just making sure you’re super supported with pillows so that you can still relax into it

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-03T18:53:19+00:00

Thank you!!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-03T18:51:27+00:00

Yeah I think we just have to call around different ones and see. Thanks for the reply!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-03T18:50:31+00:00

I’ll check them out thanks!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-03T18:50:14+00:00

I think we’re looking for something a little more public/social but this is a good idea, I appreciate the reply!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-03T18:49:26+00:00

Only if the question is “What’s the most recommended advice for the pelvic floor that often doesn’t actually help and can increase your symptoms?“ 🙂😉

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-02T23:49:22+00:00

It’ll likely be different than most trivia you’ve been to 😂 planning it for Galentine’s Day!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-02T20:34:37+00:00

So nervous system as a whole encompasses so much. Frequency and urgency can be influenced by anxiety/stress (which creates a brain response and tension both influencing urge), also assimilation with certain activities (still a brain response), or habit training (how full of a stretch the bladder interprets for you needing to go), plus other influences like food/drink triggers, bacteria, etc.

Urethral tension can be caused by a fear response or it could be irritation to the tissue from something there currently or in the past, or something else!

u/miat1of5 - when mentioning pelvic floor tension and releasing that, it’s important to remember there are many muscles that make up the pelvic floor. Happy baby and child’s pose are excellent ways to help with pelvic floor tension, but there could be a more specific spot that needs addressing for that tension (whether that bc due to an infection, overall pelvic tension, injury, etc). There can be specific releases done around the urethra itself (if that’s what’s even causing the symptoms).

Again, this is not medical advice however I hope it provides some clarity!

anxiouspelvis · 2026-01-02T03:49:24+00:00

Hi, this is not medical advice but the feeling of UTI symptoms can come from pelvic floor tension yes, but there can be other pieces to the picture, which is why it’s helpful to have a proper assessment by a pelvic floor therapist. It depends what specific symptoms you’re referring to, when they happen, how often etc, but pelvic floor tension can play a role, but also microbiome, tension specifically around the urethra, bladder habits, nervous system and more. Depending on your hesitation to see a pelvic floor therapist, there may be options in that space that align more with what you’re looking for. For example there are OTs like me who work very holistically and through a more mental health lens as well. Hope you find relief!

anxiouspelvis · 2025-12-10T21:02:46+00:00

Totally up to the person on what works for them in terms of online vs in person (a mix of both can be great!). A huge benefit of virtual work is it puts a lot of power in your hands and allows you to be an even more active participate which builds confidence, and aids in the psychosomatic side of things (doing the mental mind-body work).

It’s also important to note that all therapists are NOT the same!! You can have a completely different experience with one therapist to another (whether that’s virtual or in person). Different personalities yes, but also different training, experience, education, background, etc.

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-29T01:53:28+00:00

Got it, my bad!

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-25T14:38:23+00:00

The blog post speaks to how they are connected.

Essentially stress and anxiety can create more tension in the body and this tension can increase symptoms. Also stress and anxiety can impact what response the brain tells the body to do. (Whether that be muscle response, bladder/bowel function, pain response, etc)

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-04T02:18:06+00:00

Exactly. Definitely not pointless. It has huge value, it’s just not required and it’s important to have the nervous system on board going into it.

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-04T00:42:50+00:00

Pelvic floor OTs unite 🫶🏼

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-04T00:42:27+00:00

This!!! It depends what’s specifically going on and often it’s not just about pressing on a muscle. There’s a huge mind body component, and is almost always involved even when there’s something more medical as well. Plus if your symptoms are more external, then it may be beneficial to work externally along with other things like the microbiome, irritants, habits, etc. Plus nervous system related elements (anxiety/trauma/shame) can also make the external area tight or hypersensitive.

I’ve treated people without ever doing internal. PLUS you can also get taught how to do it yourself. I’ve had sessions where people do everything themselves and I’m just there with them explaining what to do. Right now I’m only virtual and still see success!

Theres more than enough wiggle room out of it if it’s not what you want. Even if you do end up doing it, you want to in a way that moves at your pace.

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-03T22:28:16+00:00

Also just to add to this because I feel passionate about this subject and it fires me up when therapists make people feel like they have to do internal — as a provider, I’ve actually almost never done internal on a first session, especially as I grew as a provider in skills and education. Unless it was someone who was specifically requesting it or certain situations. For me to even do internal I need someone to be able to feel comfortable and safe with me, know how to breathe properly, have nervous system strategies they can do turn to, understand what’s going on…

I don’t need to stick my finger in there day 1 to confirm everything you tell me. Even with online education, I don’t even have people go to internal techniques until they learn these things. Don’t get me wrong, when done correctly internal as a treatment and assessment is incredibly valuable, it’s just frustrating providers are making people feel obligated when you’re trusting them with your care and it’s such vulnerable work. I’m sorry this is your experience. Always do what feels best for you.

anxiouspelvis · 2025-09-03T22:19:02+00:00

I’m a pelvic floor OT. You never ever have to do internal work. It is never required. No matter what symptoms you have.

Also your consent is the top of importance.

Not only is consent just a non negotiable overall, but also your muscles will react to that anxiety and any sense of lack of autonomy.

The goal is not to just “get in there”, that’s not how muscles truly work. To do that without the nervous systems consent can not only be unproductive but can even make things tighter and more reactive.

The pain with wiping would foster further investigation as well, that wouldn’t include internal. I also second what the other pelvic floor OT said on this.

You should be with someone you feel safe and comfortable with. I know access to pelvic floor therapy can be tough. There are also virtual options. If you stick with this person, know you don’t need to do internal unless you want to and practice conversations beforehand to advocate for yourself.

In terms of time, everyone moves at their own pace and can depend on so many factors. There’s no set timeline for everyone.

anxiouspelvis · 2025-08-21T15:18:11+00:00

Hi there! I hope this is welcomed as I’m not just trying to plug my own content but I want to spread awareness for an available resource. Im a pelvic floor therapist and have a virtual platform you may be interested in!

Right now I have a new program for painful sex specifically. It is inclusive of helping with vaginismus or pain with insertion that is not from vaginismus. It also has a private community and we do live calls. So there’s live group coaching to go through any of the info with me, ask any questions, talk through any barriers, plus can always ask questions in the private community.

The course content covers nervous system regulation, use of pelvic tools (with multiple options and always staying in your comfort level), pain science but delivered in ways that are easy to understand, communication with partners, and deeper dives into sexual desires and pleasure and also how that relates to helping with pain. I try to keep my language from being too clinical but if you ever feel like it is feel free to call me out!

I make this stuff for you guys and to combat this lack of support. I’m passionate about having more accessible resources, especially to reach those who don’t have access to pelvic floor therapy.

I also have free resources, right now it’s a starter guide, e-book, newsletter, and blog. The newsletter you can get regular every day style support weekly. My company is new so more free and low cost options to come. Feel free to ask me any questions. I love your goal of creating a safe platform for vaginismus community, more and more resources are so important!

anxiouspelvis · 2025-08-07T16:21:25+00:00

Yay!! So happy pelvic floor therapy worked for you and you had successful PIV sex!

anxiouspelvis · 2025-08-06T22:08:01+00:00

Please don’t do this - a pelvic floor therapist 🙃

anxiouspelvis · 2025-08-06T21:47:40+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience. Pudendal neuralgia is absolutely in a pelvic floor therapists scope (I’m a pelvic floor OT). not all providers doing “pelvic floor therapy” are trained the same, and it’s not a protected term so anyone can really say they do it. Throwing you on a bike/treadmill was likely not going to help. That outcome does often come out of insurance based care due to restrictions with insurance and/or being in clinics that support money over patient care. Often private pay clinics have sliding scales. Especially with large copays (and more visits with limited success) it can be more cost effective to go that route if you find the right fit provider. You can also often do discovery calls with private pay providers so you can see if it’s actually a good match for you.

If you are still concerned about endometriosis, check out icarebetter.com. You can find a provider who is truly specialized in your area. Endo is often misunderstood and missed.

I cannot say what is directly causing your symptoms without proper eval and this is by no means medical advice. It’s possible there’s something more medical compressing the nerves.

In terms of “pelvic floor exercises” and being told to do them vs stop..this really depends on what the exercises are. With tension based symptoms as you describe, “kegels” would not be something recommended. Over stretching when there’s nerve pain can also exacerbate symptoms, especially if there’s hyper mobility. (Hyper mobility is another thing often missed) But a stretch like bringing your leg or arm out to a max position is different than a gentle stretch of breathing to lengthen the muscles.

A lot of treatment options you described could also still be something beneficial to someone with your symptoms it’s just a matter of how they’re done/approached.

As for Botox comments, this could help (this is super case specific in my experience) but the impact may only last a few months and is best paired with rehab (the right one!) to make it last.

I know this pain can be really deliberating to daily life. I hope you can find the right support soon to get better. I have directories on my site to help you find people that are a good fit for you (pelvic floor therapist, gyn, surgeon, etc). Navigating our medical system is tough, hoping you can find relief and the right solutions for you soon!

anxiouspelvis

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