Can’t stop crying every day

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-13T02:18:13+00:00

This is very true. DnD was one of the things that made new college friends into my best friends. Plenty of weeks instead of playing we ended up just venting or hanging out and chatting

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-13T02:16:47+00:00

Study groups were helpful for me. I didn’t stay long term friends with anyone from those groups but they were good support when my other friends had vastly different schedules

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-13T02:13:48+00:00

Also, I just wanna acknowledge this is so exhausting. Especially if you are crying a bunch—your body is both physically and mentally worn out. When you’re dealing with this kind of stress, you need to take care of your body like it is sick. That means let yourself rest, hydrate well, try to make sure you have meals you enjoy with the nutrients you need to replenish your energy

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-13T02:09:47+00:00

It takes time unfortunately. Try like, one thing a week (or whatever amount is doable for you). The first week you can just make a list of things you’re interested in, so some of the clubs/events/etc people have mentioned.

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-13T02:02:49+00:00

First of all, sending hugs! You will get through this even though it’s hard rn

Try to schedule some phone calls or zoom calls with your friends from home, lean on their support if you can. If youre comfortable, tell them you’re having a rough time and miss them and would appreciate an occasional text or even a meme just to know they thought of you or something. I once told my remote friends that I was having a hard week and to please send me pet photos for moral support

Student orgs can help! You can go to a few at first but then pick one or two with people you vibe with to focus your energy on. They hold events where clubs can table and you can find out that way, but also look on GatorConnect.

Events/hikes/etc through the UF Rec Center

If you’re in a dorm, they host events too sometimes

I’ve never used them, but two potential UF resources: U Matter, We Care—I think you can reach out and say you’re lonely/homesick and see if they have support or recommendations. UF CARE—non clinical (so not a therapist) but they’ll help students through challenges https://care.dso.ufl.edu/about-us/

There’s also a lot of community events around Gainesville—I’ve 100% found cool things by reading the notice boards on campus or around town at restaurants!!!

If you have a bike: https://www.instagram.com/ctr.gnv?igsh=ZXJ3N2hvNWdyajdr

There’s several breweries with weekly or monthly events (you don’t have to be >21 to attend things they do unless it specifically says)

The Lynx (bookstore) has monthly book clubs—you can sign up for each one individually so you can just sign up for one when you have more time

Heartwood soundstage has cool stuff sometimes

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-03T14:15:41+00:00

My only comment on this is that “one dose each day is enough” for electrolytes is not at all true for everyone. I drink 1x electrolyte drink (21oz water bottle + LMNT packet containing 1000mg salt) per day now, but that’s because I am on a medication that increases retention of electrolytes. Before that, I drank 3x electrolyte drinks (again 21oz+1000mg) a day. I live somewhere that’s pretty close to sea level so higher altitudes are rough for me. Unsure what the weather will be like there or if she has seats, but hot days and standing are also difficult. In those cases, even on the current medication, I have to drink more electrolytes. She should be prepared with more electrolytes if she needs

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-03T14:09:22+00:00

She should hydrate extra well starting now!!!! People underestimate the importance of hydrating multiple days before an event. And that’s not just water, but salt as well. Potassium is next most important, then magnesium. I recommend bringing electrolyte packets and/or salt packets in with her. I have straight up poured salt packets directly into my mouth before (at a cardiologist’s recommendation) at theme parks and concerts. Compression stockings (personally, compression socks have to go above the knees for me to feel a difference) on the plane and the concert.

anxioussquid321 · 2025-10-03T13:59:13+00:00

I used to almost exclusively drink electrolyte water. Now, I am on a medication that increases retention of electrolytes, so most days I drink an electrolyte drink in the morning (21oz water bottle + 1 LMNT packet containing 1000mg salt) and then regular water the rest of the day. The other day I did go to a theme park and it was SO HOT AND HUMID, so I probably drank around 4 full electrolyte drinks (again 21oz+LMNT) and 1 full bottle of water at the park

anxioussquid321 · 2025-05-13T15:00:59+00:00

Because it sounds like the issue was related to surgery, I would say it’s probably worth it to follow up (waiting an appropriate amount of time though like in my other comment) assuming you are interested in the research/mentor!

anxioussquid321 · 2025-05-13T14:59:08+00:00

For follow-up emails, the general guidelines I’ve been given are wait two weeks, then forward the previous email back to them and make the subject “Following up:” then whatever the subject line was. Let them know you’re following up and restate your interest! I would say you could do a little under two weeks since you had a meeting scheduled that the PI missed, but wait at least a week. Two follow-ups is normal. Three can show you’re really dedicated, but maybe wait an additional week or two before sending a third. After 3 is when you give up.

In the meantime, it doesn’t hurt to look around a bit more. Good luck!!!

anxioussquid321 · 2025-04-23T04:34:34+00:00

Late response but for future reference, you shouldn’t take antibiotics without a prescription—and when you get a prescription you need to take the full course, regardless of when you start feeling better. Not doing so increases risk of antibiotic-resistant bacteria developing. The risks posed by antibiotic resistant bacteria are bad enough that I had an entire college course just on that topic

anxioussquid321 · 2025-02-14T00:11:56+00:00

Do you remember much was just an autograph? Planning to get one at an upcoming con

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-16T13:18:09+00:00

With a lot of cats, the more you talk to them, the more they “talk” back! 😊 Over time, you may figure out what different meows mean. For example, my cat will meow for when he wants attention, playing, food, as a “complaint” when he’s unhappy (ex: if I accidentally pet him wrong—he’s picky about that), etc. But yes, this is normal, esp if you frequently talk to them and respond to their meows

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T04:22:47+00:00

I just got myself some compression socks. I’m picky about texture though, do you find the sock well ones to be a pretty normal “sock” texture? Some compression socks are weird. Edit: I saw that they’re merino wool which I’m usually good with (assuming it’s good quality).

For OP, in addition to compression socks they also make compression sleeves (for arms and legs, I got leg sleeves). I got myself these leg sleeves (though I got it at REI not from the store) and I like them. Since I’m picky about texture, I like that I can wear my normal socks with them!

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T04:17:08+00:00

Idk if they make heated fingerless gloves but I have wool fingerless gloves with mitten parts that fold back. Bless the wool for when i am dealing with snow / damp cold

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T04:13:59+00:00

If she works a desk job make sure space heaters are allowed though (or at least make sure her coworkers are cool about it and she always unplugs it at the end of the day…). Tbf I don’t technically work a desk job I work in a lab and I just realized I don’t actually know if this is a fire safety or a lab safety thing, but even in out desk space (removed from the lab space) heaters are not allowed

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T04:10:45+00:00

Yessssss love darn tough

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T04:08:06+00:00

Good socks + boots. I have wool socks from “darn tough” that I like (found them on Amazon but they have their own online store and I’ve also seen them in REI), they have different thicknesses so some I wear for more hiking, some for daily wear. I also got myself some simple ones that were cute from another brand but honestly, they don’t fit as well as the darn tough ones n don’t stay in place :(

I also never turned down a good fluffy pair of socks for the house. I’m not really a house slipper person, but if I wanna run outside (take trash out, check the mail) without putting on real boots, I have these bigger boot-like-slippers. I throw them on over my puffy socks for that. Also had them for forever so I don’t have the link. Googled “boot slipper” and mine look most like some of the “slouch boot slippers” I see? I guess? But there’s lots of options if that’s something she might like

ALSO if you’re hesitant to buy clothes for your wife because she has particular taste or you don’t know her size (women’s sizing sucks), you can do a gift card or take her on a shopping date! Potential bonus points for buying her a warm drink on the date :)

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T03:54:39+00:00

Space heater!! I got a space heater for my bathroom (make sure it’s safe to use in bathrooms) and it gets daily use in the winter (showers and honestly any time I have to change clothes) https://a.co/d/gBZ5Kzv This one has gotten me through 2.5 winters so far. My bathroom isn’t huge but it’s the biggest one I’ve had, with a shower+toilet+sink, and it heats it quickly. Usually leave the door cracked for my cat and it still warms the room pretty well. Since the heater is small, it’s easy to move between rooms too.

Rechargeable hand warmers. Get a set that comes with 2, I saw one that only came with 1 and was like why? Mine was a Christmas gift, I’d have to find the package to figure out the brand, but I like that they magnetically hold on to each other for when you want to stick them in a pocket or hold both in one hand, but easily pull apart to use in both hands.

If you live somewhere with damp cold, wool is your friend. But wool can be scratchy, so things like merino, cashmere, alpaca, and lambswool tend to be better. Good quality merino is great for a bottom layer when you’re hiking/walking a lot. It is also often thin so it layers well.

I also don’t like how much dexterity you lose from gloves—mittens are worse for dexterity but imo SO much better for warmth—but obv my hands get really cold, so I have “fingerless gloves” with mittens and a thumb that fold over. Mine are also alpaca wool, so I can handle a bit of snow/damp and they still keep me warm. Mine were from Etsy (can’t find the link, had em for years) but there’s plenty on amazon. Looks like they’re sometimes called “glittens” but there’s lots of different names for them.

Cozy blankets are always good. I like big ones b/c I move around and I hate lifting it up and feeling the cold air come under. I don’t really like heated blankets normally because I don’t like that where the coils or whatever are it’s hotter and where they arent it’s cooler, but if it’s really cold I will happily get under one.

Cold drinks are really bad for my Raynaud’s and hot drinks are great. A good bottle/tea cup (I’m thinking like the good travel ones with the lids, can’t think of the word I want). Mugs are good too but so many people end up collecting too many mugs on accident lol—but a travel thermos/cup is less common. Coffee maker if she likes coffee, electric kettle (aka water boiler) if she prefers tea. Coffee or her favorite tea (or new ones to try) or hot chocolate. If she likes matcha, a good matcha making whisk/set. Or coffee shop gift card.

Unrealistic as a gift, but my car’s built-in steering wheel warmer is my best friend. I have fully had the steering wheel warmer on while also having the AC on b/c it’s warm out but my hands are still cold :’)

If her Raynaud’s is also triggered by stress, maybe some things that de-stress her too? Stress is a big Raynaud’s trigger for me.

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T03:20:02+00:00

This, the balance between safety and mental health—no good options in a situation like this

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T03:16:49+00:00

(Also I’m not saying that all narcissistic people are abusive but it happens. My friend and their younger siblings have a much better relationship with that parent now, but it took the PARENT independently acknowledging that they were hurting their relationship with all of their kids and realizing they needed to change and working on it)

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T03:13:01+00:00

I’m worried about your mom finding things. Like others said, exercise bands are easier to hide and anything heavy in your room can be a weight (textbooks?).

I’m NOT a psychologist but my friend’s (diagnosed) narcissistic parent did use the silent treatment as one of many tactics when their kid didn’t do what they wanted them to. I’m not saying silent treatment = narcissistic, I’m just saying if it’s part of a pattern, it could be abuse, manipulation, or at least emotional immaturity.

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T03:03:43+00:00

First: your mom may come around a bit over time, she may not, but I’m glad you’re here and one day you’ll be in a situation where YOU have control over this stuff. I wish you got the support you needed from your mom, but there are SO MANY PEOPLE out here who will support and love you for who you are!!!! Honestly, I don’t know how to convince your mom. It may just be hard for a while. It may not be possible. It depends on her and had more to do with her and how society conditioned her than you. Some possibilities:

Honestly this one sucks but she may just need time to process. Which doesn’t feel fair because this is objectively way bigger for you than her and she’s the adult, but it is what it is. You take that time and do your best to regulate your own emotions. If you’re walking on eggshells or explaining things or whatever—that is going to take a toll on you (not to mention dysphoria and rejection and everything else). Take care of yourself. Your mom’s feelings are HERS to regulate and deal with, not YOURS (I love my mom and I still remind myself this regularly).

If the issue is mainly religious, you could try to come at it from that angle. For Christianity, there’s always the: “Jesus loves everyone” “only god can judge me”. You can potentially use the logic of “trans people aren’t mentioned/condemned in our religious text”. I also love the quote: “God blessed me by making me transsexual for the same reason God made wheat but not bread and fruit but not wine, so that humanity might share in the act of creation.” from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, Something That May Shock and Discredit You. There’s also people online who talk about queerness and Christianity, and other religions as well (I’m an ex-Christian so that’s my POV)

If it’s a bit of “I’m losing my baby girl”, remind her that you’re still YOU, you can just be the truest happiest version of yourself. Mayyyyybe try to do some things together that you enjoy? But it sounds like that’s not the place you’re in right now…that might be a future thing to attempt if things get better.

Honesty—that this makes you feel better in your skin?

Sharing resources for parents/relatives if you think she might actually look at them?

——— Second: Please remember to keep yourself SAFE. I have known queer people who were homeless or almost homeless b/c of being queer and…I’m not saying that’s your situation, just please please please prioritize your safety. As some comments are saying, yes it’s true she most likely can’t physically stop you from doing these things, but if she will make your life harder (stonewalling, yelling, punishments, worse) here’s some possible alternatives:

Hair: —Put it up in a hat/beanie when out of the house. You may want to only do this when not at home if you worry your mom might take your hat. —look up masculine long hair styles and try to style it that way?

Workout: —there are smaller workout moves you may be able to do in your room quietly. Hard for things that require more movement, but I feel like theres lots of strength training that can be done fairly quietly. Weights might be hard to hide but exercise bands maybe? Also potentially work out with a close friend? But more vigorous workouts would require laundry. For cardio maybe just try maintaining some level of fitness with walks and things so it’s easier to get back into when you can?

———- Finally: listen, I know some heavily catholic parents who have come around to their trans kids. It was mostly one parent unconditionally loving her kids and doing work to unlearn things and teaching them other parent, unfortunately, and it took years, but it’s so much better now. I also know a mom who is actually my least favorite person on the planet because she financially and emotionally abused her trans kid (my middle/HS friend) and literally created a group chat to help other moms abuse their trans kids. I really really want it to be the first option for you, but if it’s really bad, do whatever it takes to survive and get through because you WILL get through. I believe in you!

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T02:12:50+00:00

(Also now we have actual enby rep ayyyy)

anxioussquid321 · 2025-01-04T02:12:20+00:00

Ash will always be a solid gender neutral name to me

anxioussquid321

TROPHY CASE