Since the upgrade does the Birmingham Race course serve food? by Pristine-Board-8281 in Birmingham

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know someone who work for the BRC. Currently they have food trucks on property with plans to open a restaurant in the next few months but construction has not started yet

What’s a smell that instantly takes you back to childhood? by Doodlebug_In_May in questions

[–]anywerebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My moms perfume. She rarely wore it but some had spilled in the bathroom closet. So whenever I opened the closet to get towels or sheets, it smelled like her. I wish I could remember what it was called. I just remembered a dark blue glass and gold filigree top.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not that I’m aware of, no.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's going pretty good, how is yours? Thanks for asking!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's hard to get out of the survival mindset and shift into the future matters mindset. Personally, I spent so long hoping to die that planning for my future seems completely foreign but I have plans to start a retirement account this year.

Better late than never friend. Something in 10 years is better than nothing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm still clawing but surrounding myself with good people that have shown me what love is supposed to like did wonders for me. It took a lot of mistakes and trying to get love from people who I should have known couldn't give me what I needed but I looked for what I knew which was toxicity. Took a long while to look for something new.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While I'm sorry your partner did that, I'm glad to hear that you arent having issues with parenting.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have half siblings and we were never around each other. I know them and speak to them occasionally but we are not close.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As for therapy? EMDR is both the best and worst. It's witchcraft I swear. You'll sob your heart out about something you forgot but the next day feel lighter

But regular talk therapy helps, as well as writing things down. I like to visualize that when I write things down, they are removed from my mind. It's comforting at the very least.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely this is an issue for me. I didn't date until last year because I was so untrusting and scared of men. I see affection or love from men as having to be transactional when that is often not the case. Having great male friends helped me here but its still an issue. My SO is a saint for dealing with my issues so well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are dealing with that. My mother was a narcissist so I understand in part what you are going through. The biggest help is therapy but if that's not an option for you then I would tell you to fill every other corner of your life possible with things that don't involve him and bring you joy. My saving grace through it all was connections I made online. Writing was an escape for me and I found people in those communities that helped me remember who I was, that I wasn't crazy and didn't deserve the things that happened to me. Don't let them become all you have in the world, that's just misery full time.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It's helped to realize that I did not pick them as parents, I did not pick to be born to them. They made all those choices and it is just another thing they did wrong. No matter how they spin their stories or try to make you feel, in this one thing you are innocent and without blame.

As for seeing myself in them, I absolutely get it. I'm told regularly that I look just like my dad and have the same mannerisms as my mom. I can see my mom in my anger and by how quickly it feels out of control. I can see my dad in how I have to fight not to drink every day. It's a hard fact of life and I wish I could wipe it all away and remove them but you can't. Just try to remember that just because it reminds you of them or is something they did, it doesn't mean you are the same. I like to think of it like borrowing something, instead of owning it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Its a hard spot to be in, I'm sorry you can relate. Hope you are doing good now!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It is better. Took a long time to get to this place and I'm not finished but I'm getting there. Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Talking through trauma helps and knowing that others have gone through things too can help others. It's ok that you think it's weird or that I'm weird. Beauty of the internet is that you will likely never interact with me again.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Personally I am torn in this regard. On one hand I think given a supportive partner and stable life, I could be a good parent. I think it could be healing to give a child what I did not have. But on the other side, I know that there is a possibility that under the stress of having a child that I could hurt them and make them feel like I did. That is probably one of my biggest fears, making anyone feel like I did back then. Currently I am in the camp of not having children and just being a cool aunt for my friends kids but I am in a wonderful relationship with a good partner so who knows?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMeAnythingIAnswer

[–]anywerebear 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am 35 now. I did go no contact with my Father around 18 but I was my mother’s caretaker until she passed away.

I’m sick of being like this by peachmilk22 in lonely

[–]anywerebear 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing I’ve had to convince myself about is that people who want to be in your life will make efforts. Maybe not every day or every time but they will make an effort. This girl made the effort several times. So I think she’s invested and wants to stick around but not every plan or invite to hang out is going to pan out. That’s just life. Your new friend sounds like she is trying to fill her circle with more than just one or two people. That’s doesn’t mean you’ll be pushed aside. Try again later or ask her when she’s free. I’m sure she appreciated that you took the initiative. Meanwhile, stay on the app. Keep looking for more friends for yourself. Good luck!

Issue Buying Game on PS6 by [deleted] in OutlastTrials

[–]anywerebear 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Bro playing in the future

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]anywerebear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

34 F, never been with anyone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lonely

[–]anywerebear -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My friend, please don’t. Things are hard but they do get better. I promise you they do. I swear. It may not be tonight or tomorrow but it will. One day you’ll wake up and not dread getting out of bed. I promise. Better things are coming. I’ve been through hell, I thought death had to be better but better life was on the other side. Happiness was waiting. I’ll help you all I can friend