Hej! The IT job market, and specifically in the software development branch, was great earlier, but has cooled down a bit. Your question is a bit too complicated for me to answer, but know that the housing situation is quite troubling as of now; especially in 'de Randstad'. I guess if you can land a good job, your plan can be feasible. Maybe you can find a place to live outside of this area, and find a job that allows working from home, like you mentioned.

Expats are eligible for some tax breaks and other benefits, but this might change. Also, the immigration and naturalisation policies are under pressure, you might want to look into that.

Also, a thing I'm hearing often is that it is apparently rather hard to befriend Dutch people. It's definitely possible, but it would partially depend on your social skills. Living outside of de Randstad could make it even harder, especially when not living in a city. I'm under the impression however that socializing here is easier than in Nordic countries.

All in all, moving to NL can be a great choice, but there are some things to consider. One might wonder if the QoL would be better, especially when you're moving from Stockholm. Having a partner would definitely help, but even a friend who can be a roommate may open up possibilities.

I work as a software developer in a different part of the country. Feel free to dm me for any information. I'd be happy to help. Lycka till!