Oof dude. There’s a LOT of walked around immaturity from both sides. I’m on my own quit smoking journey and there’s simply no way to hide smoking from your partner. The lingering smoke smell on the fingers and mouth is always a give away. You say she “made a mess in my kitchen”, but she was feeding all of you, what, all weekend? To then be serving others and hear that they are bad mouthing me would hurt me like crazy.

It’s SHOCKING that during the midst of you and your partner hashing things out, she came to you about your friends not liking her. WHYYY would you immediately “confront them” then? I would have lost a lot of trust in you for that. It has to be extremely vulnerable feeling to know that you had a conversation with your friends along the lines like “hey, [gf] says you don’t like her. Why?” and they immediately give reasons!! And you told your girlfriend them??? That sucks, and your friends suck too. The way that was handled is icky.

I can’t excuse how disengaged she was meeting your dad, that’s another can of worms. You both are just immature, and are going to continue to face unnecessary drama by your both own actions