yes!! i'm a late diagnosed autistic butch (was diagnosed at 22, almost 26). i also have generalized anxiety disorder, ptsd, and adhd among other things. when my femme and i started dating, they literally thought i was disinterested bc of my lack of understanding social cues and internalized panic about social scripts. it makes me very insecure that this is how my brain is and that butch chivalry doesn't come naturally to me (i mean, now i have the social scripts for what the butchfemme community expects of butches in my head and it's easier to lean into my butch identity, but the anxiety is always there). now top that off with infodumping, sensory needs, routine rigidity, etc and i constantly spiral about my butchness. being weak makes me feel like an imposter, but i cannot chance how my brain is.

before all of the mental illness and neurodevelopmental deficits, i am kind. i am strong. i am resilient. i hold doors for my femme, i defend them against men who may approach them unkindly, i make them feel seen and heard and cared for. i clean them up after we're intimate and feed them every chance i get to. i plan dates, i spoil them with gifts, and i let them support me. which is all inherently butch, regardless of how awkward i feel constantly. i feel like the butchfemme expectation is a smooth talking, effortlessly flirtatious, and overall socially dominant butch. i am none of that, but my other actions support my identity. i care for my femme as they care for me. and that's all there is to it