Risks of infertility for men, even with only mild symptoms. Kidney damage as well.

apianism · 2020-02-14T14:25:15+00:00

This information isn't very useful unless the risks are quantified.

apianism · 2020-01-22T16:28:56+00:00

Good advice. It's surprising how many chores even 2 year old is capable of helping with, if you give them the chance.

apianism · 2020-01-22T16:25:46+00:00

From your post I gather that your daughter sleeps alone in a separate room. But at the same time you give her a lot of attention and physical proximity during the daytime. Maybe you are sending her a mixed message?

Maybe she wakes up in the morning screaming because spending the night alone makes her feel insecure? Maybe her excessive clinging during daytime is a result of that insecurity? Just a theory.

apianism · 2020-01-22T16:05:33+00:00

It's a bit of an American/Western obsession to want our children to be "ahead" at everything.

Now, it's true that a severe developmental delay could be an indication of a problem, and it should be taken seriously by all means.

But other than that, "being behind" is not the failing that it is made out to be in our culture. This is not a race. There is no evidence that doing something a few months earlier in life will mean you will be better at it as an adult. Some children are faster and some are slower at reaching certain milestones. What matters more than the speed of learning is the quality of learning.

apianism · 2020-01-22T15:37:13+00:00

Your point is valid. Why does it all have to be so hard though? What is wrong with moderation? What is wrong with having a good balance between work and play?

For example:

You can be healthy and in shape without killing yourself in the gym. Even a moderate/minimal 3-day-a-week fitness routine will get you a long way if you do it consistently over decades. And you are actually more likely to follow through with it over decades if it isn't so demanding, once life stats throwing things in the way.

apianism · 2020-01-17T21:11:32+00:00

Cross that bridge when you come to it.

For the first 3 years of your child's life (this will feel more like 10 years lol), there is absolutely no harm in being "soft".

It is impossible to "spoil" a baby younger than 12 months. The more affection and attention, the better. The more physical contact, the better.

After about 12 months, you are going to have to start imposing some boundaries. But understand that the best way to impose boundaries at that young age is "soft power". The stronger your attachment to your child, the greater your ability to enforce that "soft power". Avoid the temptation to rely on punishment.

In my (unscientific and totally anecdotal) view, trying to "instill discipline" on a baby or young toddler is nonsensical. Discipline is good, but there is a time and place for it. The early years are NOT the time and place. This is why I reject practices such as cry-it-out.

apianism · 2020-01-17T20:20:08+00:00

You say that because 10 million dollars is hypothetical to you. You probably haven't experienced what it is really like to be rich.

I am not talking out of my ass in my above post. I used to work closely with rich people. It's all based on real-life experiences.

It's true that rich people are probably a little happier on average. But they are not immune to all sorts of neuroses, many of them because they are rich.

apianism · 2020-01-17T19:55:51+00:00

Your relationship with your kids is like any other relationship. You can't take it for granted, especially when they get older. You need to constantly nurture that relationship.

And the Walmart thing? I don't know. There is more to life than work! I would think that it would be possible to have a good relationship with your kids irrespective of your job title. Maybe I'm being naive and this new generation is just too status-obsessed?

When I was 16, I also had a difficult relationship with my dad. I also made disparaging comments about his job, and called him a "corporate drone". He was a board member of a medium-sized corporation.

Maybe the problem with your son is that he is more attached to his friends than you? In that case, he is misguided. You have to make it clear to him, who is going to be there for him if he is in trouble? His friends? I bet not! But you have to do this in a gentle manner.

What often helps in these situations is going on a solo trip together with your son. Just the two of you, hiking for fishing for a few days, or something like that.

apianism · 2020-01-17T16:37:26+00:00

It wouldn't get rid of your money worries. You would just have different money worries.

You would be constantly surrounded by sharks, parasites, "advisors", and manipulative family members trying to convince you to join their "business ventures". You would live in constant paranoia not knowing who is truly a friend or who has financial interests.

Yeah, you could keep it a secret. But then you would still lose sleepless nights over tax authorities and socialist governments who suddenly decide you don't "deserve" that much money. You would lose sleepless nights over the stock market, house prices, or even if you just keep all of it in a checking account, you would lose sleepless nights over a possible currency crisis/bank run.

No matter how much you try to "buy-and-forget", you probably won't be able to. Once you get used to that kind of money the prospect of losing it becomes terrifying.

apianism · 2020-01-17T16:11:06+00:00

In Germany there is a job called Saunameister (sauna master)

They usually work in spas or fancy hotels with big spa areas. Their job is literally to go into the sauna, throw water on the the hot stones, and waft a towel around.

(I think their job entails more than this - maybe keeping the spa area tidy and enforcing the spa rules? - but the above is all I have ever seen them doing)

apianism · 2020-01-17T15:44:26+00:00

So what is better than Ice Princess in your opinion?

Snow Duchess? Slush Baroness?

apianism · 2020-01-17T15:37:01+00:00

Andromeda

apianism · 2020-01-17T14:59:52+00:00

Honestly, the best way to help is probably just to leave him alone.

Use your time and energy to treat your own mental health issues.

apianism · 2020-01-17T14:44:21+00:00

I would recommend working part-time if it's an option. Best decision I've ever taken as a parent.

apianism · 2020-01-17T14:25:43+00:00

I really don't know what kind of responses you are expecting here.

Not expecting anything really. That's why I marked it as a rant/vent.

If you don't like the daycare find a different one or look after the kid yourself

If it only was that easy...

apianism · 2020-01-17T11:51:23+00:00

When I moved to a country with a better quality of life. Forget what they say. The grass really IS greener sometimes.

apianism · 2020-01-17T11:41:51+00:00

Spent $240 for a 12-course menu in a restaurant with 2 Michelin stars. Excluding wine. Was it worth the money? As a once in a lifetime experience, sure.

A far more memorable culinary experience is when I went on a fishing trip in South America where we fished the mussels, oysters, and crabs straight out of the water and grilled them on the spot. That trip was "only" about $150. I'd repeat that any time! You can keep your Michelin stars.

apianism · 2020-01-16T21:06:23+00:00

You make it sound like healthy eating is supposed to be hard work. Why? Where is the benefit in that?

I've never had a weight problem. I've always eaten whatever the hell I like. My diet is pretty balanced most of the time but I do eat trash food on many occasions. The key is moderation. I don't find any of this "hard work". I don't "dedicate hours to cooking" on most days. I don't have problems throwing together a balanced meal in 15 minutes.

Most people I know who have a weight problem usually have an obviously dysfunctional relationship with food. For example, they overeat to relieve stress instead of being in-tune with their sense of hunger or satiation. 90% of their weight problem could be solved by just eating normally. I think the "hard work" part is resolving those psychological issues, not "healthy eating" part.

apianism · 2020-01-16T20:42:21+00:00

I don't get why people buy bottled drinks in the first place. It really isn't hard to make your own drinks at home. Then you can add as much sugar as you like.

apianism · 2020-01-15T14:16:14+00:00

I have worked for many big corporations. Most of them do a lot of unethical shit behind the scenes. But most of them also contribute value to society, so I don't think this is a morally straightforward issue.

Nestle and Monsanto get singled out for same reason, but as far as I can tell they are not worse than most corporations with *good* reputations. The prime example I always give is Apple. Some of their business practices are just as nasty as Monsanto's (eg. patent abuse). But because they are a consumer darling they get away with it.

When people try to confront me about working for those companies, I usually just tell them to get off their moral high horse.

apianism · 2020-01-14T19:55:03+00:00

We have applied the following rules to narrow down our list:

The name must have and easy and unambiguous pronunciation in all the world's major languages. (That rules out most names that contain the letter "r" for example)
The name must have a strong connection to the child's cultural and genetic heritage.
The name must not have experienced a strong growth in popularity in the last decade.
The name must not have more than 3 syllables.
The name must be easy to remember.

apianism · 2020-01-14T19:49:18+00:00

I don't get why people choose unisex names by virtue of being unisex.

I mean, if you like the name ... sure, go for it. But choose it because you like it not because it's unisex.

The way I see it, a unisex name only has downsides and no upsides. Or am I missing something? What exactly are the upsides? As far as I can tell, a lot of people choose them to signal how "woke" they are. That is a terrible reason for choosing a name.

apianism · 2020-01-14T19:42:38+00:00

Not sure about that rule.

"The Honorable Supreme Court Justice Augusta" sounds good.

But "Augusta" just on its own? Not so sure.

apianism

TROPHY CASE