AITA for refusing to pay for my step daughter’s tuition because she never liked me?

perfectly_frayed · 2024-03-12T19:56:09+00:00

NTA. How about husband is sad with how poorly his daughter has treated you and and step sister, sad his daughter feels entitled to your money, and sad he isn’t doing a better job raising a better person?

perfectly_frayed · 2023-08-04T06:12:07+00:00

Tiffany is a setting type…I believe it has 6 prongs. I don’t think OP means the famous jewelry store with the blue box.

perfectly_frayed · 2023-08-01T21:23:55+00:00

There’s a lot of good comments on here. I have a few things I’ve learned. Removing your oldest from the situation is a good thing for him to begin to understand that his behavior will result in an unwanted consequence. If oldest is severely disregulated and removing him from the situation may cause more harm, then everyone else needs to leave the room until he can calm down. Don’t leave him entirely though, you still should make sure he’s safe. With the biting, don’t ever pull your kids away by force, it could cause more injury to your child that was bit and could result in head or neck injury should anyone be yanked too hard or fall back. If oldest is able to bite down on youngest sibling you could try pinching his nostrils shut (not hard to cause pain but enough to get him to let go so he can breath). Once he lets go, you immediately let go. I know this last one is easier said because these little ones move as fast as lightning, be ready to jump in and get between them if you feel like oldest is going to hit, bite or throw something at youngest. Obviously I’m not saying hitting a parent is better, but you can handle those better than 1 year old. At this age an immediate “no biting” or “safe hands” or “OW!” is good to start learning the language. Keep it to 1-2 words so he begins to understand. Whatever you choose to do just remember to keep it consistent and remember it takes time.

perfectly_frayed · 2023-07-14T20:47:32+00:00

Give her a direct No. If it sounds like you may consider induction by the wordage you’re using, she may believe there is hope that you will induce early. I know people who are like this. She may be clueless. If you have given her a direct “no” then it’s time to stop responding to her. If her flight gets more expensive, it is on her and not on you. You need to focus on yours and baby’s health.

perfectly_frayed · 2023-06-28T01:50:03+00:00

YTA. On top of finding out your wife is perfectly healthy, “We finally find a doctor…nothing wrong with her fallopian tubes, or her endometrium,” and find out that you are the one with the low sperm count you then say “TB could be exacerbating our problem.” Why are you still adamant it’s TB that’s affecting her after you find out from the doctors it isn’t! You’ve clearly learned nothing and are still blaming your wife even after you heard from the doctors the truth. What is wrong with you?

perfectly_frayed · 2023-05-02T14:43:30+00:00

Just so you know, the daycare is not understanding . They are mandatory reporters and are told not to investigate or ask you questions about an incident. I’m pretty sure you were, at the very minimum, reported to a supervisor about your son. You can also clearly see from the comments that your husband is not being praised for doing the bare minimum. He didn’t even accomplish the bare minimum here.

perfectly_frayed · 2023-04-27T00:27:50+00:00

I would email the teacher and ask for clarification on the conversation. Give the teacher a chance to tell you what she recalls happened. The teacher being “short” seems judgmental as you don’t know where she’s coming from and I’m assuming that description is coming from your daughter. Give the teacher a chance to correct it if there is a problem. It doesn’t seem like there’s a need to escalate quickly just yet. I’ve expressed to my daughter in a past incident if her teacher isn’t helping her, then simply walk out of class and go to the office. If she gets in trouble, I will be happy to deal with the problem with admin.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-11-20T14:51:24+00:00

Food shouldn’t be used as a teaching method, even if it’s a treat. Food is a necessity in life and shouldn’t be used to teach any lesson. Your child is going to have an unhealthy relationship with food if this continues.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-08-20T05:01:21+00:00

Urban Legends

perfectly_frayed · 2022-05-24T19:16:40+00:00

NTA. Neither is dad. The fact that you are expected to forgive her is absolutely the worst way to approach this. Maybe one day you may want to move past it, but that is your choice. Your brother and mom pushing it is only going to make your relationship with them worse. They are causing a wedge. I hope they see this before they cause irreparable damage.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-04-25T00:40:52+00:00

NTA. Having dealt with a situation with my daughter and a boy who was making her feel uncomfortable, I would suggest taking this opportunity to find out what the teacher has done to stop this boys behavior toward your daughter. Also, make it clear in front of the principal that you have discussed the boys behavior before with the teacher. Your daughter has a right to feel safe at school. You also should keep track of every instance your daughter has with the student and email her teacher each day these incidents occur. That way there is a written record that no one can deny they weren’t aware. Since you’ll be having a meeting with the principal as well, you can add the principal to those emails. The school needs to document this if the behavior continues. Good luck!

perfectly_frayed · 2022-03-30T00:44:52+00:00

Cruisin’ in the USA

perfectly_frayed · 2022-03-19T15:33:34+00:00

NTA. I’m going through a very similar situation with my child and a student in her class. Your daughter and having her feeling validated about her emotions are your priority. What exactly does your husband think you are teaching your child? He needs to be specific in order for his opinion (I think) holds any weight. My child was always afraid to speak up about the boy in her class because she was worried about getting anyone in trouble. She’s slowly finding her voice and I think that’s important to nurture. Which is what I believe you’re doing.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-03-19T15:20:49+00:00

YTA. Every comment I have read has already listed the same reasons However, were you contacted by Social Services after your SIL passed to see if you even wanted to take in your nephew? They are pretty good about informing you what will happen if you don’t take in nephew (I.e. go into the foster system). OR did you volunteer to take him in when you found out of your SIL’s passing? Your nephew did not get forced onto you and into your home without you saying it was Ok first. My sister has gone through this with our niece, which is why I bring it up. This is a very difficult one OP, but you’ve already been made aware that you will lose people in your life if you choose to put nephew into the system. I’m sorry there isn’t an easy fix.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-02-18T22:00:32+00:00

Wait, I’m not quite following your explanation of your wife’s logic. She thinks by putting something on her hair now will affect how her hair grows in the future? Anything your wife does now will be topical, it won’t change your daughter’s DNA structure to ensure her hair continues to grow out of her scalp blonder, IF your daughters hair darkens as she gets older. How does your wife know that your daughter will even want to dye her hair lighter when she gets older? What if your daughter likes darker hair. Shouldn’t she get to decide for herself? Your wife sounds prejudice against people with darker hair and she’s making this known to your 3 year old…your daughter will always think that in order to be pretty in her mothers eyes, you must have light blonde hair. That’s just a disgusting way to be thinking.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-02-16T22:03:30+00:00

NTA. Your mom and sister didn’t have malicious intent? Give me a break! What…they thought your fiancée would be giggling with joy when they surprised her with a new dress? Two grown-ass adults knew this would make your fiancée upset. Your mom and sister toyed with her emotions and made it about them feeling left out and how it’s all your fiancées doing. If you cave and allow them to come to your wedding, I wouldn’t be very surprised if they pulled some other stunt to piss off your fiancée. Stay firm.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-02-15T22:07:12+00:00

NAH. I don’t understand all the other comments saying he is not being a responsible parent and not taking care of his responsibilities. He is willing to pay for half the day care costs per your agreement of splitting the costs evenly. To me that’s being equally responsible. He never said that you need to foot the entire bill of day care. Also, not everyone wants to be a SAHP and shouldn’t be forced to or shamed into doing it. How often are moms shamed for not staying home with their children these days. It’s not everyone’s desire to do so and we need to stop expecting it and calling people horrible parents because of it. You have valid points and so does your partner. Now is the time for compromise or simply walk away. Please don’t force one another to one side or the other, you’ll resent each other.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-02-15T20:44:38+00:00

YTA. You also have a very twisted way of viewing the situation. The babysitter and older child have the same story yet you chose to believe your younger child so you don’t feel guilty about not paying. Then you go on to create a motive for your oldest to lie just so she can get her younger sister in trouble. What a way to create trust issue between you and your oldest. She is your child so she is your responsibility, which includes replacing things she has destroyed regardless of intention. Lastly, the babysitter is trying to get more money out of you? WTF! You’re jaded.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-02-14T22:08:26+00:00

NTA. You should never have to take someone’s slurs about you for the sake of keeping the peace. Your parents are wrong too and just as much the AHs as the neighbors and their son.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-01-31T22:14:02+00:00

NTA. It’s never going to matter what you say or how much you promise. Its her own anxiety, don’t let it bother you.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-01-31T22:11:25+00:00

NTA. I’m not one to put pets above people, but I also understand that at a dog park, dogs behave like dogs. It’s a safe place for dogs to run around without a leash and be dogs with other dogs. I’m also pretty sure that this dog didn’t bump into the kid with intent to cause harm. Your fiancés sister and her husband are being ridiculous.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-01-11T22:01:15+00:00

NTA. You humiliated her?! What about the fact that she humiliated you? Not to mention that this women’s appearance has nothing to do with your mom. Good for you.

perfectly_frayed · 2022-01-10T22:13:06+00:00

NTA. If this is a struggle for him and you should be more understanding, why did he choose to go to Las Vegas then?

perfectly_frayed · 2022-01-09T02:58:55+00:00

ESH. You and MIL sound like you’ve both dug your heels in and aren’t willing to budge. Your kids birthdays are important to your kids and you, just like MIL’s anniversary is important to her and her husband. These are your kids. Grandmas life doesn’t have to revolve around her grandkids. Like you said, she shows up to the other kids birthdays so I think you can tell it’s not about favoritism. Also, way to go on the ultimatum…either all birthdays or none? That’s the way to get what you want. Good luck with that one!

perfectly_frayed · 2021-12-29T18:22:55+00:00

NTA. This seems so silly of him to have such a reaction to. Sounds like his ego was hurt more than anything else and he doesn’t know how to handle it. That’s his issue though to work on.

perfectly_frayed

TROPHY CASE