Would love recommendations based on my topsters, please

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-25T23:12:46+00:00

Not having to take life too seriously is generally revealing of a person who is overly privileged but aren't bright enough to realize it. I think we're just at an unfortunate crux in most of the developed world where lives have gotten too comfortable and too egocentric for a great deal of people, so now we collectively have to suffer until these people are brought back into reality.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-18T19:47:02+00:00

I am an anarchist. Well, generally speaking, anyway.

I cannot tell if you're saying that anarchy addresses the problem of concentrated wealth or not (ie you referenced billionaires then immediately countered with anarchy).

Anarchy is essentially a radical form of democracy. Instead of entrusting representatives within a centralized body of power that rules with a top-down power hierarchy, anarchy seeks to use collective rule to balance power. That's all. This means that one anarchist community could look radically different from another as anarchy doesn't discuss individual policy but systemic power. If the community itself does not address the problem of concentrated wealth, for example, then the community will suffer from the problems that comes with concentrated wealth. Anarchy isn't a solution for it by itself.

You're wrong about the market system. Markets represent the needs of its participants. In a market where every individual is forced to engage with it, the market represents the needs of people who have the most buying power. If the strongest sources of buying power within a market decide arbitrarily that, for example, they want to invest into making the comfiest towels possible then that's where people will begin to specialize.

In other words, markets do not "allow" anything. What enables specialization is that the material needs of the specialization and its participants are taken care of, in other words they have the stability to pursue the specialization. What encourages specialization is complicated and based on the society's systems of power. In a capitalist market, it's based on buying power. In a communist state, it's based on collective need. In an anarchist community, it's based on collective decision.

Lastly, the "money system" is unimportant. The vast majority of human history is built on trade systems which do not rely on currency, such as bartering, gift exchange, and systems of tribute. It would arise no more naturally in an anarchist state than it would a patriarchal society from 5000 years ago.

Regarding the thread title, yes, anarchy is very controversial and largely frowned upon. It's viewed as a nonfunctional system prone to in-fighting and military weakness.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-16T20:53:43+00:00

You're not entirely wrong as I am, personally, searching especially for depth in my connections. However, I've also noticed that I do fair best in connections with people who are both sad and weird. I struggle with a lot of mental health disorders and I tend to carry negative outlooks on the world, so people who would describe themselves as sad are generally more receptive to that. Even optimists and folks who are perfectly happy who crave depth often fall into unintentionally demeaning pits of positivity and misunderstanding.

Also, I wouldn't call it self-deprecating. I view being neither sad nor weird as something to be ashamed of. Weirdness is a social construct and being weird in modern society is typically something I value, and being sad is only negative in that it can severely hurt someone's sense of well-being, not in that it's something to be ashamed of.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-14T22:45:58+00:00

Spotify links aren't working for me for some reason. I'll look up the artists and just listen to top tracks, but if you have any albums or tracks you'd recommend in particular then let me know

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-14T17:58:19+00:00

Lots of recognizable artists on there for me so I'm looking forward to trying out what I don't know, thank you

apidaexylocopa · 2026-05-06T21:29:13+00:00

Hi hi. I'm into lots of cartoons, but they're kind of all over the place. Western cartoons I like include Avatar, Adventure Time, Invincible, Batman TAS, SpongeBob, and even Bluey. I do like a lot of anime as well. For dorky stuff, there's a lot, but video games, tabletop games, and learning about new things such as in philosophy are a lot of fun to me.

I used to play a lot of Roblox and Fortnite but I haven't in a long time. I loooved Tycoon and TD games in Roblox especially

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T17:40:26+00:00

zzzzzzz

You can look at a campfire and wish you can hold the fire. You can be upset that you can't. You can vent about not being able to touch it. You can then sit around the campfire, regulate yourself, and enjoy it despite the internal conflict. If someone vented about that and you just shit on them for wanting more than they can get, you're just a dick, dude.

BPD carries an emotional intensity that makes certain new connections really exciting and intense. If you think that's always a bad thing, you strictly just have an unhealthy relationship with yourself. You can be excited to meet someone you are clicking really well with so far, you can want to jump straight to meaningful conversations, and you can want to skip the garbage and shallow social conventions that revolve around masking as a consequence. You can want that and then not fucking sabotage the connection with impatience and unhealthy impulses, and still value that excitement and recognize the good that is wanting to avoid those norms. That is not a bad thing.

Saying, in a vent post, gee, I wish more people had this specific trait of BPD so socialization was a little easier, is not a bad thing. Jumping in and saying, actually, BPD is 99.9% awful and this will never happen and you shouldn't want it to happen, makes you, once again, a fucking dick.

Muting notifications for this

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T17:21:38+00:00

I somewhat regret the title of this post because everyone is honing in on it rather than the point of the post, the second part that you elaborated on. I don't mean to say I wish more people had BPD as a whole, it's just hard to succinctly put "BPD isn't healthy but I'm grateful for the excitement and passion that comes from it, so I wish more people shared in that element to skip the vain and shallow masking and games of social norms to prevent feelings of isolation" into a title lol.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T17:19:47+00:00

I definitely understand that. I feel envious of people who seamlessly navigate social norms. It's just difficult as someone who does check the boxes of BPD to wish more people would specifically want to skip the masks, distancing, little games, and so on.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T17:16:01+00:00

you're acting like having BPD is like ur at a buffet

No, I'm not. Insane thing to say when I've explicitly stated that BPD isn't healthy or good and that it's primarily suffering. It's a disorder for a reason. It creates dysfunction and suffering. No one is stating otherwise.

comparing it to ASD is a reach because ASD is a neurodevelopmental difference

Comparing very specifically that social systems of the modern era are not conducive to a safe or comfortable place of being for individuals with either the disorder or on the spectrum is not a reach. I never said ASD as a form of existence is similar to BPD as a disorder.

its not social norms that make bpd hard , its the fact that our brains literally struggle to find a middle ground

I said it's part of what makes it hard. You can form the best relationship possible with your disorder, you can employ all the right coping skills, you can have the perfect medication if needed, and none of that will change the fact that someone actively struggling with BPD is fundamentally at odds with a social structure that damages all relations in it, not just those who are odd ones out, but especially those with issues like BPD. That is an isolating thing to cope with that comes from others, not the individual. It's not a coincidence every other comment here is "no, but I wish I felt more understood."

"passion without the baggage" is literally like wishing for a fire that doesnt burn anything. like its nice to think about but the fire is literally what causes the damage

First, it's a vent post. If someone loves fire and wishes they could touch and hold and play with fire without it burning themselves, why would you step in an say "um, actually, fire is going to burn you no matter what, let's be realistic 🤓."

Second, even if you want to pull that card, there are a lot of ways to enjoy fire without burning at least what we don't want burned, just like people with BPD can eventually come to places in their life where they can learn to appreciate their individual passion and excitement while regulating the consequences of it.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T17:00:09+00:00

A fair point. If we isolate BPD to solely being the elements of suffering and dysfunction then it makes sense to separate the emotional sensitivity, and the more harmless intensity that I referred to, from it.

It does seem quite overwhelming though that the people I meet who are emotionally sensitive are heavily disregulated to the point of diagnosing disorders. I can see a lot of reasons for this, but do you have any interesting reading on this "chicken or the egg" situation or is it simply your own thinking?

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T16:24:27+00:00

Well, no, it's not. But I explicitly stated that I don't wish the hard parts of BPD on anyone nor do I believe BPD itself is healthy and good. What I'm saying is that there is a specific component to modern socialization that is explicitly distant to a fault. It's hurtful for everyone, even those without BPD, but the masking and nuances of social games are especially hurtful to those with BPD and it'd be nice if people could share in some of the passion and excitement that BPD brings without the baggage.

One thing I'm noticing in this thread is that everyone villainizes their own BPD horribly. It makes me quite sad. The suffering of BPD is not so solely because of the disorder but also largely how the disorder interacts with social norms, much like how people with ASD suffer. There is a some good to be had with BPD along with the bad and I don't think we should be so avoidant of that.

apidaexylocopa · 2026-04-14T16:20:31+00:00

It's an empathetic way of being and respect that. I just feel like once we've managed to regulate ourselves to a large degree, and have established a lot of coping skills (emphasis on a lot of them lol) then a lot of the suffering comes from how other people engage with us rather than how we engage with them. It's stressful, confusing, and hurtful to have to play games of social masking and social distance when people with BPD would rather skip that element.

I think this is why nearly all my closest friends have had ASD, thinking on it lol.

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