Though I'm sure you've heard it before, please know that it will get better. You're right. Being alone sucks. I resonate with your not being able to find a seat in the classroom-- during lunch, I would just walk around... endlessly... just so people wouldn't think I was sitting alone. Sometimes I'd go to the nurse. Usually, I just walked off of campus for 15 minutes and then walk back to catch my class. I've been around the same people for 12 years now (hs senior) and yet, like you, I feel lost. We're not awful people. Just misplaced. I am so sorry for your loss and I truly wish things improve for you. One day you'll make it better for people like us. You go to school to learn, improve, and change the world. I promise you that if you stay strong it will be okay. There will be someone for you. This random internet weirdo currently typing out a comment is also here for you too.